“Okay.” He finally obliged, perhaps swayed by the tears in my eyes as well. His hands held up in front of him as though he were being accused of a crime, “I get it.”
Though his words were obliging, his eyes were firm. He certainly did not get it. I could see it now.
In Eric’s mind, I was a prize, waiting to be won. He would move mountains to have me. It was his chance now.
“Goodnight, Eric.” I mumbled with a sniffle that I wasn’t sure if it was caused by the chill or the threat of tears.
“Night.” He whispered back hollowly, watching as I slipped inside my apartment.
Once the darkened door swung shut behind me, I stumbled towards the stairs, falling down on the lowest step and pressing my hands against my mouth.
It was only then that the first tear fell, my heart thundering so painfully against my ribs.
Had I betrayed my late husband? Had I betrayed the marriage we once had?
I had liked the kiss.
I had enjoyed feeling Eric all around me. My core still pulsed with lazy desire, awakened by the feel of his tongue against mine.
I wasn’t allowed to feel like this.
I had killed my own husband, I would no longer have any chance at happiness. That wasn’t for me.
Eric wanted so much.
He wanted to be with me, he wanted to see my face each morning and hold me each night, but I couldn’t give him that. Couldn’t Eric see how damaged and broken I was?
Couldn’t he see that I would inflict nothing but sadness and unhappiness on him?
I grabbed the railing of the stairs, somehow managing to hoist myself up on shaky legs.
Taking in a deep breath, I squeezed the rail as tight as Eric had squeezed me against him. I would go up to my room and I would forget the fluttering of my heart. I would forget the scent of Eric’s cologne.
Firmly nodding to myself, I took each step of the stairs one at a time, forcing my brain to focus on something else.
Tomorrow, I had a lot of filing to do. Tonight, I would take a shower so hot and steaming that I would forget all about the chill of the air outside.
Tomorrow was a new day, a different day.
It would be just another day that I somehow trudged my way through, alone.
Or at least, I thought that was the case.
Funny how life throws wrenches into even the most simplest made of plans.
Chapter Six
“I’m sorry.” Eric said quietly as he leaned against the wall of the office where I saw on the floor, picking through files. His eyes were shamefully downcast.
“It’s nothing.” I responded, giving him a slow smile. I had to forgive him if I wanted a friend. Besides, he was just drunk. He hadn’t meant any of it, I was sure.
Tessa slammed her purse down on her desk, making me jump with the clamor.
“Good morning.” She said pleasantly, red lips parting over glistening white teeth.
Her big blue eyes swept over to me, grin going even wider. She didn’t bring up what I’d seen the day prior, but she wanted to remind me.
“Oops.” She giggled, fiddling with the top button of her blouse, “Looks like I missed a few.” Her gaze shifted towards Eric as he cleared his throat, “You know how busy some mornings are.” She purred.
Busy indeed.
Moments later, Jake slid through the doors gaze sweeping right over the three of us.
“Eric, my office.” He said, gesturing towards the back hall, “We have a meeting.”
“Morning, Jake.” Tessa called after him, batting long dark lashes.
He paused, nodding at her and then myself, before turning back towards Eric as they walked down the hall.
“He’s so in love with me.” Tessa sighed, sinking into her chair, “He can’t keep his hands off of me.”
I wanted to tell her that sex didn’t equal love, but I kept my mouth glued shut. It was her delusion after all, but I’d noticed the way he barely looked at her.
He probably only sought her out when he needed something.
“I spend the night sometimes, you know.” The secretary added, swinging her chair around to face as I carefully slid another pile of papers into place.
“Oh?” I said, completely disinterested.
Was I going to have to listen to her prattle on for the next couple of weeks? That in itself was going to be more torturous than walking in on the pair of them ‘canoodling,’ as Eric would put it.
The thought almost made a smile play on my lips.
“He lives in a mansion. He has staff that brings me breakfast in bed. He’s so thoughtful.” Tessa sighed contentedly.
“Sure.” I mumbled, shifting so my back was turned to her. Maybe if I showed just how completely not into what she was saying, she would stop.
“But anyways, that’s why I need you to take your lunch at a certain time. A girl has needs you know.” She giggled, flipping black curls over her shoulder.