My old friend whistled quietly, waving the bartender over for another round of beer.
“I’m good.” I said, shaking my head at the girl as she took Eric’s empty glass.
“You don’t want another?” He asked, “My treat.”
I shook my head again, “Thanks but I need to get going.” I said, glancing towards the darkness outside, “I have a feeling I’m going to have a long day tomorrow.” I chuckled, though it was mirthless.
My first day on the job had been full of ups and downs, and I was glad to ease it off with a tall margarita, but now I just wanted to get in bed.
I was tired to the bone, though I had a feeling it was just all of the change that I’d been through in one day. A new job, a new boss, new excitement.
“I’ll walk you.” Eric said, sliding out of the booth to head over to the bar where the waitress was refilling his beer.
He spoke to her for a moment, chugged his beer and handed her some cash before coming back over.
With a roll of my eyes, I followed him out of the small restaurant.
“How do you like working for Roma?” He asked, pulling his jacket just a bit tighter around his shoulders.
The air was crisp tonight, my fingers and the tip of my nose numbing almost instantly. I lifted my hands to my face, blowing warm air against my palms.
The air slipped through the small holes in my sweater like desperate fingers, clawing their icy tendrils against my flesh.
Sudden warmth blanketed me, Eric’s strong arm sliding around my shoulders.
“You look cold.” He mumbled, eyes fleeting away from my inquisitive glance towards him.
I swallowed, shoulders going stiff beneath my friend’s hold as I resisted the urge to recoil away from him.
It wasn’t that I disliked Eric. He was a handsome, thoughtful, funny man. However, I just couldn’t be with someone. Not yet, not now, not when I was still floundering so much. I’d always known Eric had carried a small torch for me. He’d made that much apparent, but I thought as we aged and got more mature that he would realize he and I could never be together.
We stopped in front of the dark bricks of my apartment building, Eric’s arm still around my shoulders.
Gingerly, he turned me to face him, his breath still laced with the heady scent of beer. Perhaps that last beer he’d imbibed had been a bad choice.
“Caroline…” He began, black eyes piercing mine.
He stared at me intensely, as though he wanted me to fill in the blanks that broke the path between the jumbled thoughts of his brain and his lips.
I did not help him, moving instead to slide out from his warm grasp. I could handle the cold.
He clutched my elbows instead, not allowing me to escape him.
“No.” He fumbled, “I need to tell you-”
“No, you don’t.” I sighed, frowning up at him, “You don’t need to say anything. You shouldn’t say anything.” I added, as an afterthought.
Eric was my only friend in this lonely, big city. Or perhaps he thought I owed him for getting me the job?
Is that what this was secretly about?
“But you don’t understand.” He whispered, biting his lip, “You came to me, you sought my help, I thought…”
“I came to you because we’ve been friends for so long.” I whispered back, my breath making a puff of steam in the air between us, “I needed someone I knew I could rely on.”
He was drunk. That’s all. Tomorrow, everything would be back to normal between us.
That was all I could hope anyways.
“No, there’s more.” Eric insisted, his fingers curling tight around my flesh as he pulled me forwards, “I know that there’s more.”
His lips descended before I could react, greeting my own with a warmth that was shocking.
How long had it been since I felt lips against my own? How long had it been since I basked in the embrace of a man who wanted me?
I sank into his chest, his muscled arms circling me, dragging me closer and closer until I thought I would be sucked right inside of him.
His hungry tongue swept against my lips, begging for more and more. One hand slid up my back, playing at the ends of my hair.
I broke from his kiss, gasping for air as I pressed my hands against his chest. This wasn’t right. I couldn’t be with my husband’s best friend.
“We can’t.” I said firmly, giving his chest a push that was harsher than it needed to be.
Eric stumbled a step backwards, his arms hanging limp at his sides.
His eyes swept from my eyes to my lips, contemplating another taste.
“No.” I said, startled by the tears that brimmed my eyes. I’d long thought I had no more tears to cry, “I’m serious, Eric. I don’t want this. I don’t want you.”