He snorted and turned his face around. “Yes! It’s not hard, but I have so much to deal with right now, that I can’t. That’s the problem.”
Suddenly it hit me. He didn’t just give me a spanking because he was angry at me for having broken the rules. He’d smacked me because he was angry at something else. Something had happened to him, whether it was at work or something else in the past, but I could sense it influenced him, even now. He was taking his rage out on me.
The realization was frightening, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. What drives a man to do such a thing? He was even crying, just now, and it seemed like he was totally drained. It was like he was tortured by his own mind.
I walked over to him and stood still right in front of him, spats from the shower falling down on my face. He held his hand firmly on the wall beside us, his features robust and menacing, but his stance and slumped head made him look beaten.
“Look, I’m sorry … please don’t ask me why,” he said. “I can’t explain it. I don’t want to. This is something I have to deal with by myself.”
I swallowed, feeling crippled by his words in my attempt to understand him. “I want to get to know you, Dom, but you have to trust me, too.”
“I know,” he said. His arms dropped and with one tug he pulled me into his embrace. He buried his face in my neck and nuzzled my wet hair, pushing my body into his chest. “I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”
He sighed and delved his fingertips deeper into my skin as he hugged me tight. “Goddamn, it’s been a long time since I held a woman like this.”
I chuckled and it felt like my fear of him had suddenly vanished. Somehow the idea that I could make this work wormed its way into my head. My arms moved out of their own when they entwined behind his neck.
“You make me weak, you know that?” he whispered close to my ear.
I couldn’t withhold the smile from popping onto my face. “I can see that, but is it so bad?”
“It’s not something I’m particularly fond of, no.”
“You’re more into authority and power. Yes, I know.”
He chortled and planted a kiss on my shoulder. “Well, I want one thing clear though. I don’t intend to change that. I’ll love and keep on being dominant for the rest of my life, so if you can’t handle it then …”
“I know. I don’t want you to change,” I said. “I just want more. More love. More trust. More like this.” I pressed my head further into his pectorals to hug him more.
“Maybe. I could work on that,” he said.
We both laughed and kept holding each other, gently swaying under the hot shower, until we’d both rinsed away our pain.
Chapter 4
As the days went by we grew closer to each other. We spent some time together at the park, strolling around like an old couple. We ate lunch at a few different restaurants, trying out different things like tiny pieces of stuffed duck and a spicy pumpkin soup. We even watched a movie together, as if we were just a normal couple. It was almost funny.
Dominic always went to work at the same time, I spent my day working on my manuscripts. I had much more to write about now, especially with this turbulent relationship I was in. Whatever kind it was.
But he hadn’t put his hands on me ever since. Not even to make love.
However, Dominic decided to get us tested for STD’s, because he said he wanted to have sex freely. Odd, considering our sex-free days. Nonetheless, I was happy with it. It meant we were pushing toward a more steady relationship. Also, because we were both clean, which was a relief.
When Dominic came home he had this provocative smile on his face that made me laugh. “What?”
“I want to take you somewhere tonight,” Dominic said. He came to the table where I sat and placed his strong hands on my shoulders. “You must come.”
I chuckled. “I assume I have no say in this?”
“No. None at all.” He bent over and I felt his warm breath in my neck, creating goose bumps all over my skin. “I want to take it a step further, you see, our relationship. I want to show you more of what I love to do. To increase your submissive experience.”
“Oh? And are you going to tell me something about what it is?”
“No, but I’m sure you’ll find it very interesting. Come.” He held out his hand in front of me and I took it.
Dominic led me up the stairs toward the playroom. What was he up to now?
“Do you see that suit over there?” he said.
I nodded. On the wall hung a black and red latex corset with a detachable piece for the boobs. Below it hung a tiny black thong with stockings. On the floor were two black sky high heels.