Lauren wrapped the down comforter around her. Even with the early June temperature and heavy material she shivered. The cold she felt had nothing to do with her environment. It radiated from the gaping hole around her heart.
Rolling over, her cheek hit the other pillow. The scent of Nate’s shampoo and soap filled her senses, and she pushed the pillow off the bed. He’d only been living with her a short while, but without him the bed felt empty. She felt empty, as if a hand had reached into her chest and yanked her heart out. How had she let him do it to her again? Why had she ever let him back in?
When he left the first time, it had taken months to get on with her life. Why had she risked that again? Sure, this time he wasn’t leaving in the same way, but once again he’d gone and made a significant life-altering decision without consulting her first. He knew her life was here. He should have told her upfront about the possibility of a move to Virginia.
If he’d told me . . . Lauren’s thoughts trailed off. She would have what? Not let him back into her life? She didn’t know anymore. She loved him. Always had. But how could they have a relationship when he made all the decisions? How could they last when he kept secrets from her? Even with as much as they loved each other—and she didn’t doubt that he loved her—it wouldn’t work if he always put his needs and desires first. Marriage needed to be a partnership between two people who loved each other, not a dictatorship with Nate calling all the shots.
Another round of tears pressed against her eyes. “Turn it off for tonight.” Tomorrow the pain would still be there. Tonight she needed some sleep.
***
Her alarm clock read ten o’clock. By now the coast would be clear. The latest Nate had ever left for work was eight. Besides, she had plans for the day. She’d taken her last personal day off so she could drive down to Newport. The week before, Sara had called inviting her and Nate to Cliff House a day early so the two of them, along with Charlie, could plan a baby shower for Callie. Though sooner than necessary, it made sense to meet now and plan, since they were all attending a fundraiser at Cliff House that Saturday night anyway.
Before she could even consider packing for her weekend trip, she needed coffee and something for her splitting headache. A night of crying had done only two things: given her a monster-sized headache and red eyes.
He won’t still be here. Lauren pulled open the bedroom door. Across the hall the guest bedroom door stood open and the bed was neatly made. The entire house remained quiet, like it had always been before Nate moved in. He’s gone. She exhaled. Thank goodness. She couldn’t face him this morning.
Behind her, JoJo’s toenails clicked on the hardwood floor, the only sound as she headed toward the kitchen. The scent of coffee still lingered in the air.
The floor beneath her bare feet changed from wood to tile. The minute her feet hit the cold tile, she froze.
“I just made another pot,” Nate said. He sat at the counter, an empty plate before him and a coffee mug in his hand. He’d showered and dressed but appeared in no rush to go.
Lauren unglued her feet then crossed to let the dog outside without meeting his eyes. “Thanks. I need it.” Her eyes focused on the picture near the sink as she opened a cabinet. When her skin began to tingle, she knew without turning around that Nate stood behind her. Still, she ignored him and grabbed a mug. When his hand wrapped around her upper arm she paused but still refused to turn around.
“Talk to me, Lauren.”
Her shoulders slumped. “There’s nothing to talk about. I told you last night. I need some space.”
“For how long?” His voice took on a note of desperation.
Days, months. Who knew? “I don’t know,” she said, her voice soft.
With no warning, he spun her around so that they faced each other. She saw the dark circles under his eyes, evidence that he’d had as bad a night as she. “Damn it. That’s not good enough. I love you, you love me. Whatever the problem, let’s settle it now so we can move on. I need to be in Virginia next month. I want us married before I go.”
Did he not understand the meaning of I need space? “Then you should have thought of that before you made decisions for us without asking me. You’ve done it twice now. This time I’m calling the shots, Nate.” She poked him in the chest. “When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.” Before he could add anything, she yanked her arm away. “I need to get ready.” Grabbing her coffee off the counter, she marched back to her room.
Seconds later, the bedroom door swung open and crashed into the wall. Why didn’t I lock it? Crossing her arms, she waited.