No question about it, she was lucky to have a friend like Callie. Few people had friends they could depend on the way Lauren and Callie depended on each other. “We’ve been friends for a long time. She’s more like a sister than a friend.”
“You’re still lucky.” She nodded toward the city outside. “What do you say we go to some clubs? It’s still early and we’re both single. Let’s have some fun. See who we can meet.”
A few hours at a dance club sounded fun. “I’m not single, Suzanne, and neither are you. Or are you and Bryan done?”
Suzanne rolled her eyes. “I don’t see rings on either of our fingers, Lauren.” She held up her hand and wiggled her ring finger. “Bryan’s okay with me seeing other men. He went out with a woman from work last night since I was here with you.”
Ring or no ring on her hand, the last thing she needed was another man in her life. Even now guilt slammed her over the head every time she saw Kevin or talked to him. It might not have been intentional, but she’d now kissed Nate on two separate occasions. Something she had no business doing while still with Kevin.
“You pick up anyone you want, but I’m only dancing tonight.”
“Suit yourself,” she said with a shrug. “I’m going to change. See you in a few minutes.”
Lauren shook her head and headed to her own bedroom off the living room area. To each her own. If Suzanne spent the night with some stranger, she wouldn’t get a lecture from her, as long as she didn’t bring him back here.
Alone in her room, she hung up the gown from Callie. For a second, she considered calling Kevin to check on him. He had sounded terrible when he called and a good girlfriend would call and see how he felt. Even knowing this, she held back. First and foremost, he needed his rest. That reason alone didn’t hold her back, however, and she knew it. So far the trip into New York and the ballet had been a terrific distraction from her relationship woes, but calling him would only reinforce the fact that she had a decision to make.
Should she stick with the safe path and stay with Kevin or risk her heart again and give Nate another chance? Every time she thought she had made up her mind, a memory or a thought occurred, and she again found herself pondering her choices. The way she saw it, both choices had repercussions. If she stayed with Kevin, not only might she find herself in a relationship with a man she never loved, but she’d also have to see Nate go on with his life without her. On the other hand, if she jumped headfirst into something with Nate, not only was she setting herself up for possible emotional devastation, she might be throwing away something special with Kevin.
“What a complete mess,” Lauren said as she pulled on her black boots.
***
“You might want to check on those steaks,” Nate said, referring to the Porterhouse steaks his brother had put on the grill. Older by three years, Ryan and his wife lived on the opposite side of town from their parents.
“I know how to grill, and they’re fine. But if you don’t like the way I do it, be my guest,” Ryan answered, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Nate refused to take the bait, knowing if he got up and checked now, he’d have grill duty for the rest of the night.
“How’s it going living back at Mom and Dad’s?” Ryan asked when Nate stayed seated. “Is Mom constantly stopping by?”
When he’d moved into the apartment he’d expected that from his mom. Except for the few times she’d brought by his mail because it had been left in his parents’ mailbox instead of his, she never stopped over. She called once or twice a week to invite him for dinner, but otherwise she gave him his own space.
“I hardly see them. But it’s still just a temporary arrangement. I haven’t had enough time to find something else.” One more problem on his list.
“Heard you and McDonald got into it at O’Donnell’s.”
He didn’t need another reminder of Lauren. He had enough of them back in his apartment. Every time he walked into his bedroom, memories of what they’d done in there while in high school ambushed him. In fact, he’d been searching for a distraction from those memories when Ryan called and invited him over.
“Who’d you hear that from?” Who else had been in the pub that night? At the moment he was drawing a blank. The shock and grief had overwhelmed him. If he’d handled things differently that summer, what would’ve happened? What if she’d had the baby? Would they be a family today?
The shock had since worn off, but not the grief. His heart still ached for what they’d both lost. The only thing that helped ease it was the knowledge that Lauren still cared. Their kiss that night had sent his body and mind spiraling out of control. That kiss and Lauren’s request for time to think kept his hopes high. If no chance existed for them, she would have told him upfront. She wouldn’t string him along and play games with him.