It was going to be a gorgeous day for a wedding.
Even if Sebastian had disappeared, I told myself, everything was going to be alright. It had to, on such a beautiful afternoon. I had to somehow cling to that hope. It was all I had right now.
Below me, I could see people beginning to drift out onto the sand of the beach, heading towards the chairs. A small band with a violin began setting up to the left of the decorated arch
It was time to be seated for the wedding.
Still, I lingered for a second, intensely observing the tops of the guests' heads. None of them matched my dark haired husband.
Sighing to myself, I turned, slowly exiting the room. With a long, minimally anticipative glance up and down the hall, I retreated to the elevator and sank to the lower floor.
Listlessly, I followed the small crowd of people onto the beach and found an empty seat. I set my purse beside me, just for the chance that Sebastian would decide to join me last minute.
I'd been fortunate this morning, I realized, as I sat down and glanced around at the strangers, I hadn’t experienced any morning sickness at all. It was a miracle really, or perhaps I was finally leaving that stage of my pregnancy behind. I was approaching the second trimester after all.
One of my hands pressed to my belly as I crossed my leg over knee. I'd start showing soon. Maybe then Sebastian would be more willing to talk about the pregnancy instead of turning slightly green. Or maybe he would just vanish all the more, afraid to look at me.
Or maybe he was still shell shocked over the whole situation. He definitely wasn’t expecting a baby to come of the only time we slept together, though neither was I. Frankly, I was pretty surprised that it was myself that was the one handling this with grace, though I had no choice. It was growing inside of me, I couldn't deny its presence even when I was alone.
In a few weeks, no one would be able to deny its presence to anyone at all.
The band started playing, breaking through my thoughts like a ship crashing violently through the ocean’s wake. I straightened, hands folding in my lap, as I did my best to appear to pay attention to what was going on around me.
The last thing I needed was to give Alissa any ammunition to hold against me.
George walked down the aisle first, clad in a snow colored suit. Beads of sweat from the burning sun were already clinging to his reddened forehead. He stood at the altar, staring out towards the ocean. He only turned to look down the aisle when the priest nudged him.
As the music began to change, a flower girl pranced down the aisle, tossing white rose petals everywhere. She was adorable, blond hair in pigtails, little white dress bouncing around her.
If we had a girl, would she be as joyful as this little one?
The seat beside me creaked suddenly, purse set in the sand as I glanced to my side.
None other than Sebastian Davis sat there, leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees. He glanced at me, giving a half smile before turning his full attention back to the aisle where people were beginning to turn expectant of the beautiful bride.
I stared at my husband instead, who was still dressed in the clothes from the night prior, refusing to make eye contact with me. He still had that smile plastered on his face, pretending nothing at all had happened.
Where had he been all night? What had he been doing?
All of these secrets, they were too much to handle, they were too much for one marriage to bear. I was growing tired of always concealing, always pretending. I couldn’t deal with this anymore.
I could suddenly feel it, that rope of mine that I'd been clinging to in the hope for our relationship. It was starting to fray. I could only hold on for so much longer without any help from the man who had put this ring on my left hand finger, from the man who had vowed to be with me in sickness and in health.
Though I was well aware those vows were not made in love, did they mean anything at all?
Would I ever receive honesty from Sebastian?
People stood as Alissa walked up the aisle, and though I was surrounded, I could not bring myself to stand. Though I luckily had the excuse of pregnancy, it was as though my heart had slowly sunk to my feet, turning into cement in my shoes. I was bolted in my chair, frozen by the emptiness I could feel growing inside of my heart. I'd never felt so smothered and neglected at the same time in my entire life.
Sebastian leaned back in his chair as everyone sat, his arm slipping around my shoulders. His touch, the same gentle slip of his fingers against my flesh that made me bloom with heat and searing tenderness, now made me flinch.
Had his fingers always been this cold?
The priest was speaking now, of the immense love of Alissa and George as they gazed at each other, holding hands. Even Mr. Davis was beaming ear to ear.
Alissa looked the image of perfection in a billowing sleeveless white dress that naturally ended above the knee, flowers tangled in her red hair like a forest nymph.