Fourteen would be pushing it though, he believed, eyeing her tiny, flat frame. The poor girl had no curves what so ever.
"I'm almost nineteen!" She responded angrily, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff, squirming under his scrutiny.
The newly flabbergasted vampire gawked openly at her, taking in her childish body then looking at her face, "You've got to be kidding me. There's absolutely no way that you're nineteen."
"Well I'm not nineteen yet…" She mumbled, cheeks flushing slightly, "still got a couple more months."
The vampire only continued staring for a moment before words found him again, "Well you've about as much body to you as a twelve year old boy. And a scrawny one at that." He mumbled, blinking when he felt the familiar sting of a slap against his face once more.
"Hey now!" He cried, "Quit doing that! You've got as much manners as a twelve year old boy too."
The resounding sound of yet another slap echoed.
"Who raised you?! Is this how you treat someone who could kill you?"
Slap.
"What the hell is wrong with you, kid? You're really pushing it now!"
Slap.
That was enough for the agitated vampire, who took the girl's hands and pinned them above her head, shoving his face so close to her own that she elicited a tiny 'eep' noise of surprise when their noses brushed.
"Listen up, kiddo." He muttered in a serious, low voice, "That's enough of that. You dare hit me again and you'll find yourself headlong into that tree over there so fast that you won't know what hit you."
The vampire enjoyed personally draining the life out of his victims, he was generous that way. For this infuriating little imp of a girl though, he would make an exception. He gestured with a nod of his head to a tree about six or seven feet away, narrowing dark eyes on her own emerald ones.
"I'm not a kid!" She repeated, ignoring everything else he said.
"Oh, don't you start this again!"
The vampire was sick of her big, annoying mouth – who knew that someone so tiny could possibly be so maddening.
He stood, grabbing her off the ground easily and tossing her over his shoulder with a simple, "I'll just kill you back at my home. It'll be easier to deal with you that way."
It was only a matter of time before their rendezvous was interrupted by some passersby with how much noise she was making. Though the vampire enjoyed killing, he was no longer in the mood for a feast.
"Put me down right this instant!" The girl shrieked, kicking her legs and arms like a writhing maniac, "You'll regret it!"
"Oh yeah?" He mused, "You a princess or something where all the king's horses and all the king's men will come after me?"
"Well…no…" She sighed, as she was definitely no princess, "but, but still! I swear, I can make you regret this!" She crossed her arms, slightly dejectedly, and he could feel the pout burning on her lips.
"Sure thing, Princess." He replied smugly, practically giggling.
She huffed, kicking one of her skinny chicken legs with sudden, deliberate force into his groin. He gulped, buckling for a just a second.
Vampire he was, immune to pain he was not. Especially pain that he wasn't expecting. The girl went still, though he grabbed onto her tighter, pulling her down off his shoulder to press her against his chest, he'd been positive she'd try to take off running again.
Instead, he found her smirking into his face, jade eyes bright and worryingly maniacal, "Ready to regret it?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in slight bewilderment, though before he could open his mouth to speak thick thorny green vines erupted from the ground around them, wrapping tightly around the vampire's legs and arms. The thorns bit into his flesh, ripping at the thin fabric. He’d have to go raid another village for clothing.
He groaned, eyes rolling, "You've got to be shi-"
"Now who's helpless?" The girl cried, poking the vampire hard in the chest with a triumphant, "Ahahaha!"
"Uh, you, puddle duck." He responded lightly, arching an incredulous eyebrow, "You trapped yourself against me."
"Ahahaha- wha...?" The girl glanced around, realizing that she had, in fact, wrapped the vines around not only the vampire's limbs, but herself, who'd been held in his arms.
"Why couldn't you at least be a pretty girl?" He mused with feigned angst, looking down at the freckle faced, childish young woman, "Then this wouldn't be so bad. But I feel like I'm hugging a ten year old. I may be a vampire, but I'm not a pedophile."
He smirked, noting the rage poignant behind her angrily flashing eyes. She was an interesting one, that was for sure. He found himself rather fascinated by her brash personality, her fiery will to argue and fight over everything in the midst of impending danger.