The Billionaire’s Baby(21)

I couldn't sleep, not while our baby was so far away, and Sebastian was clearly avoiding me again since I'd snapped at him.

I felt a bit remorseful now that I'd had more rest, but in all honesty, what I said was the truth. It was about time someone around here was honest.

I did feel abandoned, I did feel as though I were playing second fiddle to Sebastian’s work, and while I never expected to be the priority, his child should be. Yet, I couldn't tell if Sebastian were ready for such a commitment yet.

In the end, I had to do what was best for her.

'Her.' We hadn't even named her yet. We hadn't had a long enough conversation to even begin putting that together.

Did he lay awake at night as I had, pondering hard over names and what kind of future the child would have?

Karina had been so set on a boy baby she'd only made a list of male names. Her eyes hadn't been disappointed in the slightest the first time she held that baby girl though.

I'd heard her on the phone with Harry, gushing about the baby's beautiful blues. It wouldn't be a shame at all if she looked just like her gorgeous father.

She was a Davis after all, she'd no doubt be brilliant and beautiful.

I rolled onto my side, staring at Sebastian's end table.

On it sat the book he'd been reading the night I burst into his room. The night before he'd disappeared for five months.

I picked it up slowly, turning the cover to face me.

‘So, you're going to be a Daddy?’ It read on the cover, face of a smiling little child beaming at me.

I sucked in a small, surprised breath, running my fingers over the dog eared pages. How many times had he read this book over? It was startling, really, because he'd avoided so many conversations about the topic.

A soft knock at the door turned my attention.

It was probably Tricia, bringing me some tea. She’d kept a steady stream of peppermint coming to me.

I sat up, book still in my hand, as Sebastian peeked cautiously into the room.

"You're awake." He murmured, sliding in with a small tray of toast and orange juice.

"Did you bring me breakfast in bed?" I asked incredulously as he approached and set the tray down.

"Was it a bad idea?" He asked, frowning. He looked guarded, as though he were waiting for me to start yelling at him again. I didn’t blame him, it seemed as if that was what all of our conversations devolved into lately.

With a sigh, I patted the space next to me, watching him as he slowly sat down beside me.

"We need to talk." I finally said, handing him the baby book.

He took it, staring down at the baby girl on the cover. His shoulders sagged as though he were struggling with a huge weight on his back.

"I know." He murmured, "We've been needing a talk for quite a while."

"Why did you leave me for so long?" I asked, reminding myself to stay calm this time, "How could you just up and vanish? Without a phone call, without...anything...?"

I stared at him, desperate for an answer, desperate for the truth.

He turned to me, lips tense. His face, so gorgeous and so tortured, was miserable.

Still, he didn't speak.

"Is it because you're having a baby with Alissa?" I finally managed to ask, those words that had been tossing and turning and burning inside of me finally spewing forth, with them came a huge heaviness I hadn't even known I was bearing.

He gaped at me, shocked.

"Karina told me George can't have children, and the way you reacted..." I trailed off, tortured by his continued refusal to speak.

If he couldn't have this conversation with me, then I already knew the answer, and I knew what I had to do.

"It wasn't me." He responded, with such vigor that I almost fell over, "Macy, I didn't sleep with Alissa. I promise." He said, shaking his head as though it was painful to think of, "But I already knew my dad couldn't have any more kids. My mother always told me I was the only one they’d ever have."

"Why did you run out? Why didn't you come back to me?" I asked.

I felt weak, dizzy, as though we were talking in circles and never coming to a decisive answer.

"I still blame myself Macy, I couldn't stand the thought of my Father building a new family, of leaving my mother behind. It's not even his child that Alissa is having, why is he with her instead of my mother?" He bit his lip, unaccustomed to speaking so freely about the thoughts he carried inside of him.

"Why did you leave me, Sebastian?" I cried, "Why are you gone so much? Why didn't you come back to the hotel that night, why were you gone for my whole pregnancy?"

He stared at me, blue eyes wide, and hands balled tight in fists. Every inch of his body was strained. His lips didn't move.

"Where were you when I needed you? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you care?" Tears brimmed my eyes but I was too exhausted for them to even fall.