I felt as though I were having an out of body experience, the noises come from within me were so guttural and unreal, my body was acting on its own volition.
Sebastian held my hand tight, and thighs he were speaking to me, I couldn't hear the words coming from his perfect lips.
Harry, Karina, and Lewis were ousted to the waiting room as soon as I began pushing.
I couldn't bear the thought of them watching something so intimate. Though I let Sebastian stay, I almost had him expelled as well. He hadn't been there through the whole of my pregnancy, why should he get to be in the room while the baby was born?
Suddenly, stars burst in front of my eyes as the doctor leaned forward, a baby in her hands.
I gasped for relief as Sebastian stared, eyes huge. This time, it was his hand that clung to mine as he leaned heavily against the bed.
"There was really a baby in there." He murmured, as though he were shocked to believe it.
He turned his gaze to me, hand cupping my face, "You did so well, Macy." He whispered, "You did so damn well."
Tears of happiness poured down my face. It was over, I was done. I didn't think I'd really be able to have that baby, it seemed as though it'd never end.
I waited to hear those first precious cries from the child, but it was quiet.
"The baby?" I managed to ask, lightheaded, "Is everything okay?"
Sebastian somehow tore his gaze away from me, looking expectantly towards the doctor.
"Dr. Alvarez?" He asked, fingers going slightly limp in mine, "Doctor?"
Her back to him, she and the other two nurses huddled over a small table, their hands working quicker than I could believe. It was like magic.
The baby, was it okay? Was it a boy? Was it a girl?
"Doctor?" I gasped, struggling to straighten up as Sebastian helped me, "You have to tell us."
Suddenly, a high pitched squeal erupted from the tiny little baby as Dr. Alvarez slowly turned around, sweet, tiny little bundle in her arms.
"It's a girl." She whispered, wiping at her forehead, "You have a new baby girl."
"A girl..." Sebastian murmured.
As I turned to look at him, I could have sworn I Saw a tear of joy in the corner of his eye, though that could have simply been a trick of my dizziness and the light.
Dr. Alvarez crossed the room, laying the newborn on my chest. It writhed a bit, giving a heavy sigh and closing its tired eyes.
"She’s having a bit of trouble breathing on her own." The doctor said gently, her voice calm as ever, "We're going to have to incubate her for the at least night and give her antibiotics. We’ll know more in the morning."
"She can't stay here?" I whispered, "I want her with me."
I could feel desperation rising inside of me as one of the nurses approached for my new baby. I couldn't give her away, I couldn't let her leave me.
Sebastian gently took my chin in his strong, sturdy hand, turning my face towards him.
"We have to let her get stronger." He said gently, "We have to do what's best for her, even if it's not what we want."
I bit my lip, turning my gaze down towards the sleeping little angel. She had a tuft of dark hair on her head, just like her daddy.
Slowly, I allowed the nurse to take her. Sebastian was right. We needed to do what was best.
"I'll come back and check on you in a bit." The doctor said, "I'm going to help Baby get settled in for now."
I simply nodded, watching as they all exited the room.
Exhausted, I collapsed back against the bed, turning my attention towards my husband.
"How could you leave me for so long?" I asked him tears brimming in my eyes, exhaustion was overwhelming, even now, the room was going dark, "How could you leave us?"
The last thing I saw before slipping into a drained sleep, was the sadness of his blue eyes.
When I woke, it was dark again outside.
Lewis and Harry were gone, but Karina sat on the couch in the corner, eyes in a book.
Sebastian was also missing, though that hardly surprised me.
"How are you feeling, dear?" Karina asked when she realized I was moving around.
"The baby, were is she?" I asked, glancing around.
Even though I'd slept all day, I was still so tired. Maybe it was the medication they'd given me.
"She's being taken very well care of." Karina said gently, standing up to move to my side.
A nurse walked in with a chart, surprised to see me awake.
"Well good morning, sunshine." She chuckled, even though it was dark out, "How are you?"
"Is she okay?" I asked desperately.
My heart ached with every inch that child was away from me.
"How about we go see her?" The nurse replied, waving in a wheelchair, "Does that sound good?"