"She's-" he stopped himself as he looked down at Aiyana. "Never mind, it's not her I want to talk about."
Aiyana felt the familiar skip in her heartbeat when their gazes met and she wanted to lean up to kiss him, but they had things to discuss before she could curl up in his arms. "I know. Let's go sit down."
Blake followed her into the living room where they settled onto the couch together. Aiyana made a point of keeping a little distance between them. She wanted to have an adult discussion that wasn't marred by their physical attraction for each other. "You go first," she told him as she folded her legs beneath him.
"I love you. I want to be with you, and I think my mother will come around. If she doesn't, it's her loss. And your friend is weird." He took a deep breath for the first time after he started talking, and searched her face for a hint of the passion he knew was in her.
"I love you, too, but I don't want to be the woman that comes between a man and his mother. That's not fair to all three of us, Blake. I don't want you to stop talking to your mother because of me. And she may be weird, but she's a kickass friend." She saw a hint of a smile on his lips at her last sentence, but it quickly faded.
"So we're at an impasse. I want to make you my wife, but you don't want to be my wife unless my mother approves. Isn't it supposed to be me looking for your father's approval?" He wanted badly to reach out and touch her thigh, to show her that he loved her no matter what, but he resisted the urge.
"The time will come for that," she said with a hint of a smile. He wanted to see it blossom across her face, but he knew they weren't there just yet.
"There's something else," he told her as he held out his hand to her. Aiyana accepted even if he noticed a hint of hesitation. "Briana suggested you had some rocky relationships in the past. I know we don't talk about that kind of things and it doesn't really matter to me, but if someone hurt you, I want to know."
It was getting close to the time where they had to start getting ready if they were going to make the dinner date with Jonathan and Candice, but he'd barely mentioned it to her when he got home. He didn't care if he missed out on the opportunity entirely, as long as he knew Aiyana was okay. He needed to know that they were going to be okay together, and that she wasn't going to leave him because he hadn't asked the right questions or done the right things.
"It's nothing like what you're thinking," Aiyana said as she flicked her gaze down to the couch. When she looked back up, he caught pain in her gaze and wondered if she was still a bit in love with someone else. "I was dating a man for a while, Jose. He had a daughter, a little girl I just adored, but it didn't work out with Jose. We had some disagreements about money and what he was doing with his life. He wasn't going anywhere anytime soon and I wanted someone I could rely on as much as they could rely on me." She reached over to grab a tissue and he realized she was going to start crying.
Blake couldn't take it any longer. He reached over and pulled her over so that her back was resting against his chest. He placed his chin on the top of her head as she held while she told him the rest of the story. "I had to leave him because he was no good for me, but I had to leave her, too. I loved her, Blake. I truly, really did, and it ended up that her mother received custody. But I'll never forget the way she cried when I left. I'll never forget how much it hurt to do that to her. She wasn't in danger from her father or anything, but I knew I'd never see her again."
She cried for some time, her shoulders tensing and easing with the sobs, and he felt his heart begin to ache and mend in his chest. If she was willing to open up to him about what had happened to her, he felt he had to reciprocate.
"At the office, a few years ago, I dated a woman. It was going well, and I was even thinking about asking her to move in. Until one day I found her with another man a few floors down, late at night, with his face between her breasts and his hand up her skirt. I broke it up thinking the man was raping her, but I was blind at the time. When I looked at the video after a colleague informed me she'd been cheating on me, I realized the man hadn't been coming on to her without consent.
I fired the man. He sued and lost because intercourse in the workplace was strictly forbidden, so I won the lawsuit. But a week later, when I broke up with the woman, she sued me and claimed I'd raped her. It was a long, drawn-out court case that was luckily kept under wraps by a highly skilled lawyer and a discreet judge, but it tarnished me. It tarnished my reputation. There were whispers that I'd indeed raped her and I'd paid her off to be quiet. She quit, I didn't fire her, but everyone said I'd pressured her to quit.
I installed the glass windows to my office a week after she quit. I installed the button that would make the glass opaque at the same time. I hired Julia because I knew she wouldn't put up with any of that bullshit from the other employees, but it still hurt to know they thought of me that way. I'm sure some of them still do. Some women still try. Before I left and met you, I'd been falsely accused again. It happens a few times a year, but they rarely go to court anymore because there isn't evidence, but it still hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if they're watching me, wondering about what I do in my spare time. I wonder if they think I'm dating Julia. In fact, I know some of them do. Then I tell myself it doesn't matter because I have you. I have you to come home to now. I have you to hold me when I feel like the world wants to crush me. People believe I'm not human because I have money, but it makes me even more of a target for unwanted whispers and accusations. I feel human when I'm with you, Aiyana."
They sat on the couch for a long time in silence after he finished. He wanted to ease the hurt in her, and he sensed that she wanted to ease some of the hurt in him. He didn't know how to help her, though. He didn't know any other way to show her that he knew what she felt than to share with her the pains he'd felt.
"I'm sorry," he told her finally as he kissed the nape of her neck, pulling her closer to him. "I can look into it for you; see where she lives now and how she's doing. I'd like to do that for you," he felt her stiffen and thought he'd said the wrong thing, but when he turned around he saw awe in her eyes.
"You'd do that for me?"
Without hesitation, "Of course."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that. I guess we all have our pasts, but sometimes they just seem to be uglier than everyone else's. I don't want us to end up an ugly past." She whispered the last part to him and he pulled her near him, showering her cheeks with kisses until she smiled.
"You will never be ugly in my eyes. No matter what happens between us, I will always love you." And she could tell he meant it. It frightened her and eased some of her worry at the same time.
"We have to get ready," she told him gently as she slid out of his arms. Blake missed the warmth she'd added to him, but he knew she was right. Besides, he knew Candice liked Aiyana, and hoped that by seeing some of his family was on their side, she'd stay with him.
But he meant what he'd said. He'd love her no matter what happened with his mother. Even if she didn't marry him, he'd still lie next to her at night in his heart.
Blake held her hand as he led her back to the bedroom, but this time there was no wild sex as she got ready in front of the mirror. He sat on the bed, straightening his jacket cuffs as he watched her lean over the counter. He studied her not for her body, but for the beauty that was inside of her. He didn't think he'd ever find a woman who cared as much as she did about others. He didn't want to go looking.
Aiyana pulled on a pair of gray slacks and a white, buttoned-up blouse, fluffed her hair, and turned to him with a look of questioning.
"You look stunning," he told her as he stood to take her hand.
The ride in the limousine was quiet, but a peaceful one. They pulled up to the restaurant they'd be meeting Jonathan and Candice in and he told her to wait as he went around the backside of the limousine to open her door for her. When she stepped out, he rested his hand on the small of her back and made it very well-known that he was there with her, and nothing was going to make him break the connection he had with her.
Chapter Seven
"Candice, you look beautiful." Blake pulled in his cousin through marriage and kissed her on the cheek. She made a show of putting her hand to the spot and feigning a faint. When she stopped she smiled at Aiyana and hugged her tightly.
"It's so good to see you again! Mary hasn't stopped chattering away about your pretty hair since Christmas. She wanted to come, but I told her that we wouldn't be here long and she'd get to see you soon enough again. Oh, I'm blabbering," Candice put her hand over her mouth and sat down when Jonathan pulled out a chair for her. She had her strawberry blonde hair pulled back, but Aiyana could tell she'd cut it.