Beth moved toward the cupboards above the counter. “Did you look at the rest of it?”
As her friend turned the other way, Charlie caught the triumphant smile that spread across her face.
“You left it on the table intentionally. Why did you do that?” Beth was one of the few people who knew how much Jake's betrayal hurt her. She didn't consider Beth a cruel thoughtless person so she didn't understand why her friend would leave the magazine behind.
Beth shrugged as she took the seat across the table with the magazine in one hand. “I thought you might be interested in it, but I take it you didn't read the article. He was telling you the truth about Blair. I saw it on Celeb Talk last night and the article confirms that some up-and-coming actor I've never heard of is the father of Blair Peterson's baby.”
“So?” Charlie tore off a large chunk of her roll and bit into it in order to give herself something to do. In all the time they'd been friends, Beth had never given her advice unless Charlie asked for it. However she suspected that Beth was about to give her some now and she knew she didn't want to hear it.
“The story he gave your mom could be true too. I don't know if he'd lie about his family like that. Would you?”
“I hear an 'and' coming.” Charlie tapped her fingers on the table.
“Since he was telling the truth about this,” Beth picked up the magazine. “I'd give him the benefit of the doubt on the other too.”
Charlie refused to look at the cover of the magazine. She didn't need to see a picture of Jake. His image was burned into her memory. At least once a day it made a cameo appearance in her thoughts even though she did the best she could to bury it.
“So what if he was, Beth. I don't do long term relationships. You know that. I'm not looking for the ring and the happily-ever-after like you.” Charlie recited the words she'd been telling herself and her friends for years, yet somehow they felt hollow today. They lacked any true conviction this time. And deep down in her gut she knew they were not true, at least not anymore. Somehow she'd let her guard down and let Jake sneak his way into her heart.
Charlie tore off another piece of her cinnamon bun. “I'm not interested in having Jake in my life.”
Beth raised an eyebrow and pointed her own cinnamon bun in Charlie's direction. “You Charlotte O'Brien are a lousy liar. You've been miserable ever since you got back.”
Charlie opened her mouth to protest, but Beth didn't give her the chance.
“You might get away with lying to everyone else but you should at least be honest with yourself.”
She hated to admit it, but her friend was right. Despite her words to the contrary she did miss him. But, she didn't know if she was ready to allow someone into her life permanently. That, of course, was assuming he was still interested and felt the same way.
Before she did anything she needed to think. “I'm going for a run. I'll see you later.” Charlie dropped the rest of her cinnamon bun onto her plate and stood.
“I'll be here if you want to talk later.”
***
Charlie pulled her Jeep into a spot alongside an electric blue Lamborghini that she somehow knew was Jake's and turned off the engine. The coffee she drank on the way over threatened to make a repeat appearance as she sat looking at the building in front of her. It'd been three days since she'd learned the truth about Jake's paternity suit. During those three days her conversation with her mother kept replaying in her head as did memories of Jake's and her time together.
Then the night before, after many internal conversations she'd admitted two things to herself. One that she was afraid to leave the Navy. Sure she loved what she did, but that wasn't the real reason she had been thinking of staying. She was scared to move forward. Afraid of what change might come from leaving her comfort zone, even though in her heart she was ready to start the next phase of her life. Secondly she'd finally admitted to herself that she wanted Jake in her life enough to risk a broken heart. If she didn't at least try she would forever wonder what if.
There was only one huge obstacle in the way now; what if he was no longer interested in her. He hadn't tried to contact her in weeks. Was that a bad sign?
Only one way to find out. Releasing the death grip she had on the steering wheel, Charlie opened the car door. A wave of hot humid air hit her, making her already queasy stomach flip in protest.
Before she could stop and reconsider, she slammed the car door closed and started across the parking lot to the building's entrance. A blast of cool air washed over her when she entered the lobby and, as she crossed the marble tiled floor, she thanked God for air-conditioning.