And while Keri floated around in a dream, because they'd finally spent the night together, Jay remained on edge for the rest of the day. When he told her that he needed to 'catch up' that evening, she wasn't really surprised. Hurt, yes, but not surprised. But neither of them had slept much the night before, and things would be back to normal tomorrow.
But next morning it looked particularly bleak, with a dank drizzle leaking down from dark and heavy clouds.
The rain was seeping into Keri's face as she pulled her bag over her shoulder and ran up the steps, and once inside she looked around, as if recognising for the first time that the end of the job really was in sight.
It was amazing the difference she had made-transforming the place into somewhere unrecognisable from the bland and dingy building it had been. The strong, vibrant colours had worked out even better than she had anticipated. The rich sapphire hue emphasised and reflected the living water outside, and the dimensions of the rooms were dramatic enough to take it.
Even Jay had said so.
'Some people lack the ability to see what possibilities a place can have,' he had murmured. 'And you have that ability. It's a gift, Keri. It looks so different.
Maybe he would let her buy a few more prints. She could find a few posters of New Orleans, maybe. He had spent his first few years there and he liked cooking Cajun food-what could be better?
Perhaps she could even get away with a large, leafy plant in the corner-weren't all places supposed to have living things in them? He might like living in a place which resembled an interrogation cell, but that didn't mean he had to work in one.
Andy was on the phone, and she was just hanging up her dripping raincoat and wondering what Jay's reaction would be to a soothing and therapeutic fish tank, when he hung up and looked at her.
'Hi, Keri,' he said, just a little too casually.
Something told her something was wrong.
'Has something happened?'
'Depends what you mean by happened,' answered Andy carefully.
Keri had grown to like Andy. He had a relaxed and uncomplicated nature-so why was he looking as though he had sat down in a nest of ants?
'Where's Jay?'
He took a deep breath, like someone who had been rehearsing how to say something. Or maybe how he had been told to say it.
'He's gone.'
'Gone? Gone where?'
'He had to fly out to New York this morning.'
'How long for?'
'He didn't say.' He must have seen something stricken in her face, because he added, 'It wasn't planned, Keri.'
Keri stared sightlessly at the ground. Maybe it hadn't been-but there were phones, weren't there? And texts. Why, you could even send an e-mail from an airport these days. But Jay hadn't, and it wasn't difficult to work out why.
And there was that soft, underlying note of something approaching sympathy in Andy's voice too.
She looked up. 'You know, don't you, that I've been seeing him? Did he tell you?'
He shook his head. 'He never discusses his personal life with me-ever. I worked it out for myself.' He gave her a sweet smile. 'When a couple go to such a lot of trouble to avoid being together then there's usually a reason why.'
Yes, they had avoided each other as much as possible at work-at Jay's instigation-but when she stopped to think about it he had managed to avoid too much contact all round, hadn't he? Never sleeping with her apart from that one reluctant night.
Had Keri committed the cardinal female crime of wishing for something and then imagining that it was coming true? She had wanted him to feel something deeper for her, as she had for him, but it was patently obvious that he didn't.
Andy patted her hand, like a man making peace and offering comfort. 'It isn't personal, you know. It's just the way he is.'
Her eyes were very clear and bright. 'And what way is that?'
He took a deep breath, as if weighing up whether or not to tell her, but maybe something resolute and determined in her eyes made him decide. 'This is what he does, Keri. He won't be owned or possessed or constrained. He's a free spirit, and the moment he thinks he's in danger of being tied down, or tying himself down,' he amended hastily, 'then he just cuts and runs.'
'Runs from what?' she asked tonelessly. 'Himself?'
'Who knows? Maybe.' He was quiet for a moment. 'Let me tell you something about him. I've known him a long time, and he was the best damn commander I ever had, but even I sometimes feel I don't really know him. He's tough and cold and emotionally detached, and he needed to be. Those kind of men make the best leaders.'
He glanced up at her. 'When I left the SEALs I sort of … well, I went off the rails. A lot of the guys can't cope with the reality of the real world, and I was one of them. I started drinking-big-time-and then … well, someone thought that it might be a good idea to introduce an already screwed-up guy to drugs.'
His eyes narrowed, and Keri saw the pain in them.
'When Jay found me again I was pretty much dead-I sure wasn't living. He picked me up and cleaned me up and told me that if I ever so much as looked at a chemical substance again he would deal with me himself, and I believed him.'
His voice changed and his eyes looked startlingly blue as he looked into hers. 'I never looked back,' he said. 'He gave me a job-and then somehow he swung it for me to come and work over here when he was starting up. And I worked my butt off, because I wanted to show him just how much I owed him. My life, really,' he added simply.
Keri nodded, for a moment her sense of admiration for her lover eclipsing her bitterness that he had gone away so abruptly.
'He rescues people, Keri,' said Andy. 'That's what he does. He sees what they need and he gives it to them, and then he moves on.'
It was like being given the answer to a conundrum which had been puzzling you for ages.
He rescued people.
Yes, of course he did.
He had swept in and rescued Keri, first from the snow and then from her sexual desert, topping it all off by encouraging her to start using her own creative talents instead of just being the blank canvas a model invariably was.
That he had failed to complete the fantasy by galloping off on his charger with her firmly in the saddle didn't mean that he had failed, only that she had failed to understand him. Or refused to.
She nodded, like someone who had just been given a piece of bad news but who was determined not to go to pieces over it.
'Well, I guess I'd better finish what I'm being paid for.' Her smile was as bright as anything she had ever flashed on camera. 'And don't I get any coffee this morning, Andy Baxter?'
She told Erin about it between tears and sips of wine. 'God, I could do with a cigarette!' she wailed.
'Well, you can't have one,' said Erin firmly. 'You gave up years ago and you're not starting again now.' She tipped some more wine into her glass. 'Maybe it's not over,' she said hopefully.
But, in a way, wasn't that the worst possible scenario? Nothing would change except for her feelings. Jay wouldn't-why should he? He was happy with his life the way it was. Being a free spirit was probably very enjoyable.
But Keri's feelings would grow-she just knew they would-and where would that get her?
'It has to be over,' she said, putting the glass down with a bump. 'I need it to be, for my peace of mind.'
'And if he calls-you're going to tell him that?'
There was a pause. Keri looked at her twin. 'Well, I was actually hoping that you might do that.'
There was a short, disbelieving pause and then Erin shook her head. 'Oh, no, Keri-you have to be out of your mind!'
'Please, Erin, please-we used to do it for each other when we were younger, so what's the difference?'
'Are you serious? The difference is time, and maturity. For a start, I'm ten pounds heavier.'
'I wouldn't count on that at the moment,' Keri answered wryly. 'And you could wear a big sweater!'
Erin looked furious. 'For God's sake, Keri-you've had a sexual relationship with this man! What am I supposed to do when he starts coming on to me? I presume he knows you have a twin?'
Keri nodded.
'Well, how long do you think it will take him to guess it isn't you at all? About a second?'
Keri frowned. Maybe she was right. Jay might be insensitive to a woman's needs, but he certainly wasn't insensitive to her desires-not only would he guess, but he would be furious!