The Best of Me(95)
“My wife is going to kill me,” he confessed as they lined up their trays.
Amanda raised an eyebrow. “Why is that?”
“She had a baby last night and she sent me here for coffee. She told me to hurry, because she was getting a caffeine headache, but I just had to make a detour to the nursery for another peek.”
Despite everything, Amanda smiled.
“Little boy or little girl?”
“Boy,” he said. “Gabriel. Gabe. He’s our first.”
Amanda thought of Jared. She thought about Lynn and Annette, and she thought about Bea. The hospital had been the site of both the happiest and saddest days of her life. “Congratulations,” she said.
The line crawled along, customers taking their time with their selections and ordering complicated breakfast combinations. Amanda checked her watch after finally paying for her cup of coffee. She’d been gone for fifteen minutes. She was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to bring the cup into the ICU, so she took a table by the window while the parking lot out front slowly began to fill.
When she had drained her coffee cup, she visited the bathroom. The face reflected in the mirror was haggard and sleep deprived, barely recognizable. She splashed cold water on her cheeks and neck and spent the next couple of minutes doing the best she could to make herself presentable. She took the elevator back up, then retraced her steps to the ICU. When she neared the door, a nurse stood and intercepted her.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t go in right now,” she said.
“Why not?” Amanda asked, coming to a standstill. The nurse wouldn’t answer, and her expression was unyielding. Amanda felt the coils of panic tighten inside her once more.
She waited outside the door of the ICU for almost an hour, until Dr. Mills finally emerged to talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s been a serious development.”
“I was j-j-just with him,” she stammered, unable to think of anything else to say.
“An infarction occurred,” he went on. “Ischemia in the right ventricle.” He shook his head.
Amanda frowned. “I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me! Just say it so I can understand!”
His expression was compassionate, his voice soft. “Your son,” he finally said, “Jared… he had a massive heart attack.”
Amanda blinked, feeling the corridor close in. “No,” she said. “That’s not possible. He was sleeping… he was recovering when I left.”
Dr. Mills said nothing and Amanda felt light-headed, almost disembodied as she babbled on. “You said he was going to be fine. You said the surgery went well. You said he’d wake up later today.”
“I’m sorry—”
“How could he have had a heart attack?” she demanded, incredulous. “He’s only nineteen!”
“I’m not sure. It was probably a clot of some sort. It might have been related to either the original trauma or the trauma from surgery, but there’s no way to know for certain,” Dr. Mills explained. “It’s unusual, but anything can happen after the heart sustains such a serious injury.” He touched her arm. “All I can really tell you is that if it had happened anywhere other than the ICU, he might not have made it at all.”
Amanda’s voice began to quiver. “But he did make it, right? He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?”
“I don’t know.” The doctor’s face was shuttered again.
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“We’re having difficulty keeping a sinus rhythm.”
“Stop talking like a doctor!” she cried. “Just tell me what I need to know! Is my son going to be all right?”
For the first time, Dr. Mills turned away. “Your son’s heart is failing,” he said. “Without… intervention, I’m not sure how long he’s going to last.”
Amanda felt herself stagger, as if the words were actual blows. She steadied herself against the wall, trying to absorb the doctor’s meaning.
“You’re not saying that he’s going to die, are you?” she whispered. “He can’t die. He’s young and healthy and strong. You have to do something.”
“We’re doing everything we can,” Dr. Mills said, sounding tired.
Not again, was all she could think. Not like Bea. Not Jared, too.
“Then do more!” she urged, half-pleading, half-shouting. “Take him to surgery, do what you have to do!”
“Surgery isn’t an option right now.”
“Just do what you have to do to save him!” Her voice rose and cracked.