The Best Man's Baby(56)

“Thanks, Holly,” he said gruffly, feeling awkward.

“Come outside. Quinn and Evan are on the patio, Ella’s napping,” she said, already walking down the hall. Jake followed her, feeling like he was on his way to his own execution. And maybe he was. Maybe Claire was wrong about people and love and forgiveness. But tonight he’d find out. This was his first step in trying to be the person he needed to be, for himself, for her, and for their baby. He knew he needed to be with her. He knew she was the only woman he ever wanted. But he needed to finish this chapter in his life before he could begin a new one.

Holly held open the French door for him and he followed her outside. Quinn and Evan were sitting in the Adirondack chairs that were deep in the yard, close to the forest that bordered the property. Their backs were to them and he could see they were deep in conversation, each of them holding a beer. Jake stopped for a moment, gripped by the feeling he was an outsider. The urge to run consumed him until he felt like he was choking with it. He didn’t want to face this. He didn’t want to face them. But he didn’t want them to think of him as a traitor. What would be worse—what they thought of him now, or what they’d think of him a few minutes from now when he was done explaining? He took a deep breath of the crisp night air. Normally, the smell of the clean forest air would be invigorating. Tonight he barely noticed it.

“Come on, Jake,” Holly said with a half smile and nudged him along.

He gave her a nod.

“Hey guys,” Jake called out as casually as he could as he neared his brothers. They both turned around in unison. Quinn broke eye contact fast and Jake’s step faltered for a second, but there was something in Evan’s strong gaze that urged him on.

“I, uh, came because I owe you both an explanation,” Jake said, standing in front of them.

Quinn pointed to one of the empty chairs. “Have a seat,” he said, taking a swig of beer.

“I’ll go inside and give you guys some privacy,” Holly said, turning to leave.

“No, Holly, I want you to stay too.”

Holly smiled at him and went to sit in the chair beside Quinn. Jake didn’t really feel like sitting—it would be too comfortable and right now he was so tightly wound, he thought he’d snap if he had to sit in one spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his brothers. Both of them looked guarded.

“I, uh, I want to explain why I did what I did.” His brothers thought they knew everything about him, but this was going to shock them. “But before I get to that, I’ve got to tell you guys something about Mom and Dad.” He took a deep breath. “Did you guys ever notice how differently they treated me?” he asked. He already felt a burning sensation in his throat. He hated talking about this.

Evan frowned. “You mean the way they disciplined you because you were always doing something stupid?”

Jake fought his knee-jerk reaction to swear at Evan and walk away. That’s how his brothers saw him, and he’d let them think that for years. Jake clenched his teeth, forcing himself to stand still and shook his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought for a long time, and then one day I figured something out. They treated me like that before I started getting into trouble. They treated me like that from day one. You remember that day we were fishing and I asked you what Dad said to you at night?” Jake asked, directing his question to Quinn.

Quinn’s eyes bore into his, and the flash of recollection entered his eyes.

“Vaguely,” Quinn said, leaning forward, frowning.

“When I was ten I overheard Mom and Dad yelling about something. I was by myself in the house with them and listened in the hallway. Dad was yelling something about not listening to Reverend Holbrook.” Jake watched the confusion rip across his brother’s faces. “Mom kept saying there was no way she could do it. Then Dad said…” Jake paused, took a deep breath, and looked straight ahead into the forest, his eyes zeroing in on the deep, green velvet of trees instead of the expression he was about to instigate on his brother’s faces. “‘What do you expect me to do? I look at him and all I see is you being raped. You kept a baby made by a devil. I told you to have an abortion. Now look.’”

Silence. Not a sound. Not even the wind interrupted the moment. He slowly tore his eyes away from the trees to look at his brothers. Quinn’s and Evan’s faces were white.

Jake took a deep breath. He had done it. The worst was over. The truth was finally out.

He slowly, haltingly explained the rest.

…

Jake let the wind pummel him, knowing it couldn’t knock him down—nothing could anymore. In the last day he had shed his demons, fought against the memory of his past, and emerged victorious, and now he was on his way to claim his destiny.