Meg had run to her room when her father left, her thoughts racing from hopeless to angry to confused. She reached up and pulled the combs out, and shook her head as her hair fell down her back. When Clara knocked on the door and said, “Meg, can I come in?” she’d just started on her second pigtail.
“Yes,” Meg said as she yanked the tie around her pigtail, surveying herself in the mirror of the vanity.
Clara opened the door and walked over to the bed, Rose following behind.
“Oh, all our hard work, now back to pigtails.” Clara sat on the bed and motioned for Rose to sit beside her.
Meg rested her elbows in the vanity, her chin in her hands as her eyes narrowed at Clara’s reflection in the mirror.
“You heard what he said, both of you. I guess I’m supposed to look like this, a little girl, forever.”
Rose stood and crossed over to Meg, gently unbinding the pigtails and brushing her sister’s hair. “You know it was just a little sudden,” she said as she ran the brush through Meg’s long tresses.
“It may seem that way, but I’m a grown woman. How much more ‘grown’ do I have to be? Hank’s married, and he’s not all that much older than I am. I’m almost as old as you, Clara,” she huffed as she thought of Sam Allen slipping away, without her ever having had a chance.
“Maybe he just needs a little time to get used to the idea.” Clara stood behind Meg also, smiling kindly at her in the mirror. “The family has been through quite a bit lately, and you know how he feels about change.”
“That’s all well and good, but I don’t want to put everything on hold because of everything that’s happened. I’m ready to start my own life.”
Clara regarded her in the mirror, her arms folded over her chest and her head cocked to the side. “Meg, is there anyone in particular that you have set your sights on?” she asked.
Meg’s heart fluttered and she did all she could not to show her surprise. Could Clara know how she felt about Sam? No, it was impossible. She hadn’t told a soul, not even Rose, but when she looked from Clara to her sister, she saw the hint of a smile in her eyes.
“No, no. Not at all,” she said, not ready to address that issue. She couldn’t even get permission to see anyone at all, let alone someone in particular.
“Clara, we need to get to the study for our after-dinner song. Papa will be looking for us.”
Meg’s shoulders sagged at the thought of singing this evening, although they had done so most evenings after dinner, all of her sisters together, for as long as she could remember. Her mother had taught them all how to sing, to blend together in perfect harmony, and her father looked forward to it every evening he was in town. And if he wasn’t, she and her sisters usually sang at least one hymn just because they wanted to.
“I can’t do it tonight,” Meg said. “Would you please offer my apologies to Papa?”
Rose’s hand went to her mouth and her eyes flew open as she looked from Meg to Clara.
“I think it will be all right for tonight, Meg.” Clara bent down and gave Meg a quick kiss on the cheek. “Everything will work out. You’ll see.”
Rose squeezed Meg’s hand and walked toward the door, glancing back at her sister once before she closed the door behind her.
Meg stood and paced back and forth for a bit before she went to the window and opened it. The cool, late summer breeze ruffled her hair and she inhaled deeply, wondering if the monsoons were over for the season. It was her favorite time of the year, the evening thunderstorms feeling as if they cleansed her soul. She could use that right about now.
How could her father not be ready? She couldn’t erase his final words from her mind, no matter how many times she tried. He’d actually forbidden her from having suitors, and she just couldn’t let that happen. She was sure he’d get used to the idea once he’d thought about it. After all, he’d gotten used to Clara, and Hank coming off the trail, so why should it be different for her?
As her sisters’ voices floated on the breeze along with the scent of sage, she thought again of the conversation earlier with Sam at the Occidental. He’d put an ad in for a mail order bride and the very thought of someone else filling that role rather than her frustrated her even more.
She reached into the pocket of the dress she’d worn to lunch and pulled out the Groom’s Gazette that she’d picked up when everyone else was looking at the letters. Opening to the page with Sam’s advertisement, she read it slowly, out loud, and her eyes grew wide.
“I am all those things,” she said aloud. “Kind, honest, pretty enough, a hard worker, no children.”