The Bad Boys of Summer Anthology(80)

During his first song, I had to do more breathing exercises and continue to think about the last eight months. I could do this. I could do this. I had to give myself a pep talk several times during that three minute period. When he finished, everyone in the bar went wild. “Thank you guys,” he interrupted the applause. “Thank you. Okay this next one I’ve never performed in public, it’s a song that’s a few years old. I actually ran across it again a couple of months ago and it couldn’t have been at a more perfect time in my life. I was saving it for…” His voice trailed off for a moment and he looked towards Ash’s table. “Well, I guess it really doesn’t matter what I was saving it for, that day will never come, my angel flew away. So tonight it’s for all of you!”

Where I felt that Ash’s words were going to break me, Mason’s healed me. His voice, and the love and longing in his words, filled every one of my remaining holes and made me feel complete. I suddenly felt more determined than ever to do what I had come to do. I slipped off of my barstool and headed around the perimeter of the warehouse. I wanted to remain unseen by Mason. He finished the song and allowed the crowd to reward him with cheers and whistles. He leaned his acoustic on an amp setting on the side of the stage and jumped down to head towards his friends.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself of everything that I had discovered about love and respect and dignity over the last several months. Unrequited love was basically just infatuation, and that was exactly what I had with Ash for so long. Love was about sacrifice and putting the wants and needs of the other person in front of your own. Ash was never willing to do that for me. Other than the times that Ash and I had spent locked away from the real world, our relationship was tumultuous and filled with drama. He was always upsetting me by openly being with other girls in front of me or doing things to purposely keep me from being happy. It was like he kept me on a string and if he thought I was getting too far away from him, too close to someone else, he would reel me back in. I knew that Ash cared about me, but he didn’t love me. He loved himself too much to love anyone else. Mason, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He went out of his way to make me happy and comfortable. He loved making me laugh and wasn’t afraid to put himself out there for me. I never got upset with Mason, not once. And despite all that, I had allowed my infatuation and fascination with Ash, someone who could never give me what I deserved, to get in the way of that. It was time for me to apologize.

I climbed onto the back of my stage and walked towards the front, grabbing Mason’s acoustic on the way. “Excuse me everyone,” my voice was shaky and unsure . A few people took notice of me as I waited to get the attention of the person I wanted it from the most. It only took a minute or so as the collective voice lowered and dropped to hushed whisper. Then I heard Sebastian say “Oh shit, Rat, it’s Angel,” and instantly the place got silent.

I lifted the microphone back to my mouth, “I’m sorry I’m late, but I really need to perform a song tonight. I’ve wasted so much time, it just can’t wait any longer.” Mason’s face stayed stoic, not giving me an inch, but his gray eyes turned into a shimmery silver that shined back at me. He gave me a slight nod indicating I should go on. The eyes of everyone in the warehouse were jumping back and forth from Mason to me and then back to Mason.

I began to strum his guitar and sing about apologies from a guy who had hurt me, a guy who would purposely make me too warm only to leave me out in the cold, a guy who didn’t take the time to appreciate the beauty that he had until it was too late… and all that was left for him to do was apologize because it had become clear that I had fallen in love with another man.

After I sang the words of the last verse, “It's way too late for dignity, It's time for apologies,” I assumed both Ash and Mason understood my intentions. However, I didn’t want to leave something that important up to assumptions.

I looked directly in Mason’s eyes and pleaded, “Mason, I know what I did was wrong in so many ways, but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry.” I paused a brief moment to let my apology be heard. “I had someone treat me similar to the way that I treated you, and if he was to apologize, I’m not sure I would accept it because I know that I deserved better than that, and so did you. But I’m also here to let you know that people can change, I know for a fact because I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. The tragic events and loss of life I had to endure to get to this point, I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I’m thankful that I was able to make something positive out of it by gaining control of my life.”

I took a deep breath before I finished what I had come to say. “I used to be a girl who believed in fairy tales. You know, the whole knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse that would lead me to my happily-ever-after. About eight months ago I lost hope and faith that I would ever find my prince, or to be more exact, that my prince would ever realize I was the one for him as he tried out all of the other princesses. But what I discovered was that I was in the wrong damn fairy tale the whole time, chasing the wrong damn prince. There’s a Psyche for every Eros, an Elizabeth for every Darcy, an Abby for every Travis,” I heard several females scream out “I love Travis,” and I couldn’t help but smile. That reference was for Evie’s all-time favorite book boyfriend. “And I only hope you still want me to be the Angel to your Rat.” I turned up my nose just slightly when I said his nickname. “All along I was wearing the wrong wings.”

Mason slowly made his way towards me and stepped up onto the stage. I didn’t move. He looked down at me and seared me with his intense stare. “Don’t you ever fly away again, Angel. I swear I’ll have your wings clipped.” Then he picked me up into his arms and crushed me against his body.

“I’ve missed you so much, Angel. I love you.”

“I love you too, Rat boy. I love you, too.”





Epilogue

Ash



Eight months. It had been eight goddamned months since I had seen her. It took everything inside me not to walk up on that stage and drag her off and claim her as mine once and for all. But I didn’t. I could see the look of determination in her eyes and the last thing I wanted to do was piss her off. I had a lot of making up to do and acting like a psychotic caveman in front of all of those people most definitely wasn’t the best way to start.

I couldn’t believe she was actually standing there. Finally. Scarlett had finally come back. I honestly wasn’t sure if she ever would. I thought that maybe, just maybe, losing her best friend and me shattering her heart within a matter of a two day period would have been too much for her to ever return, but once again, she proved to be the incredible person I knew she was. My butterfly.

She looked even more beautiful that I had remembered. I loved seeing my design permanently inked on her leg; I loved knowing that every day when she looked at it, she had to think of me, if only for a brief moment. I looked down at my forearm and smiled. My daily thoughts of her lasted way longer than brief moments. Scarlett MacGregor consumed me. Every hour of every day.

Hearing her smooth, silky voice as she began to sing sent a warm tingly feeling throughout my entire body and my cock instinctively hardened. God, how I had missed hearing that sweet sound. As she sang about apologies and love and hurt, I thought back to the last time I saw her. If there was ever a day in my life I could do a redo, that would be the one.

Death is a bitch, especially when someone who is way too young to die does. The day that Evie died, my world came crashing down around me. Not only was it painful and heartbreaking because Evie was my friend, but her death hurt the person I loved more than anything so badly and I didn’t know what to do. I had never in my life felt so helpless, so useless. I had tried to be there for Scarlett, I had tried holding her, talking to her, and just being with her, but she had completely frozen up. Her usually cheerful, sparkling brown eyes were dull and empty and her spirit was broken. After the funeral, she had insisted on being by herself. I knew that wasn’t a good idea, especially back at the apartment where she had so many memories with Evie, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. So by the time Jess, Meg, and I had returned to our house, I was pissed beyond belief at everyone and everything. I immediately closed myself off in my room because I knew better than to be around anyone else. I would most likely be a dick and say something I didn’t mean. I heard Jess say she was leaving for Jacob’s a few minutes later and that was followed by the closing of Meg’s bedroom door.

I ended up falling asleep; I was physically and mentally exhausted and drained. I wasn’t sure how long it had been but I was woken up by a knock on the front door. At first I thought it might be Scarlett that she had changed her mind about going back to her place, but when I opened the door I was disappointed to see some girl that I had been stupid enough to bring home with me a week or so before. I usually didn’t like these girls to know where I lived to avoid such situations. The girl, I can’t even remember her name, immediately latched on to me and started kissing my neck and telling me how much she had missed me and needed me. I tried pushing her off and telling her to go away, but damn if she wasn’t persistent. I just didn’t have the will in me to tell her no a third time as her kissing continued and her hand stroked me outside my jeans. In what ended up being the worst decision of my life, I yanked her by the arm back to my room and tried to fuck my anger out.