Gage reached around me, kissing my neck tenderly. He circled his arms around my waist, reaching for the hem of my shirt. I allowed him to do what he wanted. We only had a few more days and I had a great night with him. Why not top it off with something steamy?
It wasn’t until after he’d pulled my shirt over my head and tugged his off that I realized how quiet it’d gotten. Not that I minded; it just wasn’t expected from him. I turned slowly to look into his eyes. He was already staring at me, his head tilted, eyes full of fire and passion. My eyes lowered to his chiseled upper half. I slowly ran the palms of my hands down his chest and he inhaled softly. He then nuzzled my neck and I giggled as his eyes softened and he kissed the tip of my nose.
His gaze then hardened a bit as he reached for the button of my jeans and slid them down my legs. I kicked them off and did the same for him. He smirked, standing before me in black boxers.
“You really don’t get enough of black do you?” I teased.
He chuckled and my gaze fell down to the V hidden beneath the waistband of his boxers. The Matthew McConaughey V. I wanted to drool over it, but he laughed at me, snapping me out of my daze. “Bath, Ellie,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss my ear. I sparked with heat, nodding as I clutched his inked arms. “I’ll go play some music.”
I nodded, knowing he was only using the music as a distraction. What he really wanted was for me to run the water, add bubbles, and then wait for him. I thought it was best to do just that, so I watched him step out and shut the door behind him.
Sighing, I stepped in front of the mirror and ran a hand through my hair. It was odd that I was… smiling. Why am I smiling? I tried to drop the smile, but it kept returning. It kept showing up. I shook my head at myself, considering the Eliza in the mirror silly for her goofy grin.
I ran some bath water, making sure it was warm and satisfying, added bubbles, and then stripped out of my bra and panties. I sank into the tub, releasing a heavy sigh. It felt ten times nicer than it looked. I washed myself up, getting rid of the paint all over my face and arms, and not long after, music played. I couldn’t believe my ears. Ed Sheeran, one of my favorite singers. Did he know? I wasn’t sure, but hearing Ed singing about giving him love made me smile like an idiot.
Gage stepped into the bathroom moments later, raking a hand through his dark, tousled hair. He stepped behind me to get out of my view, and I heard uncomfortable shifting and rustling. Suddenly it felt awkward because I knew exactly what he was doing. I knew exactly what was wrong. He was nervous and he was most likely staring in the mirror, making sure he was stable enough to go through with the rest of this night. I took a peek over my shoulder to see him gripping the edges of the counter, staring directly at his reflection. His eyes were as hard as granite, his lips pressed into a tight line. Finally, he sighed and pulled back, and I turned forward quickly, sinking into the warmth of the water.
I waited for what seemed like hours before he finally sighed again and stepped into the bath. I didn’t dare look at him. Ed Sheeran was on repeat, and hearing him sing about love was really getting to me. My heart banged against my chest and I grew nervous, wondering what Gage was going to do, say—anything. Whatever it was, I wasn’t prepared for it. Ben kept saying over and over again to get the truth out of him, but I didn’t want the truth. The truth was going to hurt both of us, so it was best to pretend nothing was here between us. It was safe to think we were still just a fling. But I knew we were way more than that… and I really didn’t know what to do about it.
Gage shifted, clearing his throat. I looked up and his head was tilted, and he was smiling. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I breathed. Of course, it was a lie.
He smirked wholeheartedly and then moved to my side. I smiled at him as he grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. Right after he pulled his lips away, he licked them. “You look tense. Want a massage?”
“Sure.” I turned slowly, my heart beating a mile a minute. Gage sighed, reaching for my shoulders and circling his thumbs on my shoulder blades. I eased up after a while as the music played and his fingers kneaded into my back. It felt nice, different. “You’re really good,” I said, laughing a little.
“Yeah,” he breathed. I tensed then, hearing the huskiness of his voice. He moved in slowly, and I slid back to get between his legs. He continued the massage for a few more moments before stopping slowly, pulling my hair away from my neck, and kissing it. I clutched my thigh, tensing again. He kissed between my shoulder blades and I shuddered, delighted by the warmth of his feathery-light lips. He continued down, one hand on my shoulder, the other reaching around to get to my middle and pull me against him.
Heat bombarded me and butterflies thrashed in the pit of my belly as he brought his lips back up and kissed the lobe of my ear. He then dropped his other hand from my shoulder to pull me against his body completely. He breathed into my hair, his whole body rigid. He was panting and his thick erection caved into my back. I moaned and he whispered my name faintly, begging me to turn around.
I turned around and sat on his lap. The water moved between us, but as I inched in closer, all I could feel was him against me. As I stared into his eyes, they were glazed over with passion, fire, yearning… I thought I caught love, but he blinked quickly and pulled my face to his. He kissed me, his tongue lapping over mine and his panting picking up with each coax of his tongue. He swallowed my moans, his hands still clasping my face. I laced my arms around his neck, moving against him as if it would get me any closer. I knew what I wanted. I knew the only way to feel completely near him was if he were inside me.
“God, Eliza,” he breathed raggedly, pulling his lips away to kiss my neck. My head fell back so I could expose my neck and let him taste me eagerly. “I’ve never felt like this before,” he whispered.
“Like what?”
“This,” he said between kisses on my collarbone. “I’ve never… wanted a woman so much.” He stopped kissing me slowly to get a look into my eyes, but I was already staring at him, shocked. I tried not to panic because I knew I wasn’t mistaken. There was love behind those eyes. Whole, passionate, and incredibly deep love. And I couldn’t ignore it.
He probably thought my silence was meant for him to keep talking, but I wished he hadn’t. He pulled me in by my lower back, keeping us close as he spoke. Our eyes were locked. It was hard for me to look away from him. “I think about you day and night, Eliza. I wake up and wish every morning you were lying in my bed beside me. Every time I’m really smiling, it’s because I’m with you or I’m thinking about you.” He shook his head, his gaze lowering. “I’ve felt something between us for so long, Eliza. So long. I’ve tried blocking it, ignoring it, avoiding it, and just remaining casual, but… I can’t anymore. Not with you. I know if I try to pretend this doesn’t matter—that we don’t matter—then I might end up hurting you, and the last thing I wanna do is hurt you. I could never hurt you because hurting you is… hurting me.”
Tears stung my eyes as he pulled one arm away to run his hand over his face. “Gage.” I choked, still not blinking.
“Eliza… don’t. I told you, don’t say my name like that. Don’t try and deny it. I’ve known it before I took your virginity. I’ve known it since day one of the tour. You were different, unlike the rest. With the other girls, it’s nothing. With you I feel something. With you I can actually be myself. Instead of forcing smiles, you allow me to do so freely. Instead of holding back, you allow me to give my all.” He cupped my face, his hazel eyes hard on mine. “Don’t leave me, Eliza. You can’t… I need you too much. I love you too much.”
I choked again and then I broke into a sob. He looked me over, his eyes just as sad as mine, stinging with tears. I tried to pull away, but he held on. I wanted him to let me go, but more than anything I wanted to stay in his arms. I just wanted him to hold me. I never wanted to leave him, but I knew in only three days I was going to have to and it was going to crush both of us. His thumbs brushed my cheeks and then he pulled me forward to kiss my cheek.
“I know you love me, Eliza,” he whispered. “I love you. I’m in love with you. And tonight I wanna prove it.”
More tears fell as Gage stood and picked me up with him. He stepped out of the tub with me in his arms and went for the bedroom. More candles were flickering in the large room. They danced across the walls behind my blurry eyes. I hated crying. I felt so weak. What I really wanted to do was smile and enjoy my night with him.
Gage laid me on the bed, kissing my forehead repeatedly as he parted my legs with his knee. He stared at my tearstained face, but his eyes adored me, as if he found me more beautiful than ever. His kisses started at my cheeks, my nose, and then my lips. He kissed my lips repeatedly, cupping my face. Ed Sheeran was still on repeat and my tears thickened, but he simply brushed them away with his thumb.
Damn it, why couldn’t I stop crying? Was it because I knew what I felt wasn’t fake? Was it because I knew that even though he wanted me to stay, I would have to leave anyway? Thinking about the last question brought more hot tears to my eyes. I had a scholarship. I couldn’t lose it. I worked too hard for it.