I clamped my mouth shut, hating that he was right. It kind of felt like a promise. “Whatever.” I waved him off, running the back of my hand across my sweaty forehead. “Go back to her. You don’t have to bother yourself with me. It’s obvious you aren’t going to let her go anytime soon.”
He smirked, placing his beer down in the sand and sliding the tips of his fingers into the front pockets of his cargo shorts. “You’re upset,” he pointed out.
I frowned. “No,” I lied. Ugh, what is up with me and lying tonight? I took a step back, really not in the mood for arguing. It was clear who he wanted. Penelope. I began to walk off, but before I could, Gage grabbed my arm and hauled me against him.
“You’re not going back to dance with him,” he snapped through clamped teeth.
I snatched my arm out of his hand, scowling up at him. “I can dance with whomever I like. I’ve told you this before.”
He stared at me, reliving the time when I actually did tell him I could dance with whomever I wanted. I wanted to leave him in the silence then. I wanted to feel superior—like a wiseass—so, I turned again, but he caught me, reeling me in by the waist. A few people that were chatting nearby turned to watch. He gripped my arm where it wasn’t too tight to hurt me, but just enough so I couldn’t pull away. He was pissing me off and by my fidgeting and trying to fight him off we were causing a scene.
“You’re bringing attention our way,” I hissed at him.
“Good, maybe it’ll get you to stop acting out and cooperate.”
“Fuck you, Gage.”
His eyes widened, surprised by my crude words. Right after, he smirked and that pissed me off even more. “Anything else, Ellie?” he sighed.
I flared, yanking my arm free. “I told you less than two hours ago that if we were going to do this, you couldn’t mess with anyone else. You told me you were going to drop her”—I pointed toward the crowd—“for me. You said it clearly!”
“I can’t just drop her, Eliza!” His eyes widened when he realized how loud he was. He looked around slowly before running his fingers through his hair again. “I can’t just pretend I don’t know her,” he hissed, his voice lower. “I told you less than ten minutes ago that she knows too much about me. I can’t get on her bad side—”
I shook my head, waving him off. I didn’t have time for his excuses. “Don’t tell me you’ll do one thing and then do the opposite,” I snapped at him. I turned, ready to storm off and take a breather, but Gage caught me by the waist again. “Gage, stop!” I was so frustrated but glad I hadn’t embarrassed myself too much by my screaming. The thumping music made my shout almost inaudible. “You’re causing a scene,” I snapped, clawing at his hand. “Get. Off. Me.”
“No,” he said, his voice a near growl.
I tried to push him away with my free hand, but he was like a brick wall. I tried again, but he smirked at me, his eyes saying, “You’re not hurting me, Eliza.” I flared, seeing nothing but red. If there was one thing I hated, it was people making a mockery of me. Laughing at me when I was really upset and was supposed to be taken seriously. Telling me they won’t do one thing but doing it right after.
I shoved against Gage’s large chest. He didn’t budge. I finally gave a viscous blow to his gut with my elbow and he grunted, partially kneeling over, his eyes hard on me. His smirk faded; his eyes darkened. His lips pressed into a tight line as he inhaled deeply and a few people turned our way to see what he would do next, smirks on their lips.
“Let’s fucking go,” he snapped, reaching for me, picking me up, and tossing me over his shoulder.
“Put me down,” I snarled, clawing at his back. Embarrassment flooded me as he marched for the house and a few people watched us, some laughing and some wondering what the hell Gage was going to do. Oddly, I was wondering the same thing. A part of me was afraid he was going to end our fling already—that he was going to tell me to leave him alone, and I didn’t want that, yet I kept fighting him, beating his back to get him to put me down. I was letting my pride consume me.
A few people were chatting in the kitchen as we passed by, and soon we were heading up the stairs. I could feel his tension while bouncing on top of his shoulder and continuously growling for him to put me down.
Gage finally made a turn for the first room he came across and as soon as we were inside, he dropped me and flipped on the light switch. I took in the sight of the washing machine, the dryer, the detergent on the shelves above me, and the baskets of clothes in the corner. I then looked at him, a deep frown on my face. “I don’t wanna be in here with you,” I muttered.
“Yes, you do,” he said matter-of-factly. He was still frowning, and the longer he stared at me, the harder it got for me to breathe. “The only reason you’re mad is because you want my attention. Well, I’m giving it to you now, Eliza. You’re so mad. Hit away,” he said, holding his hands out to his sides, arms stretched. “Go ahead. Let it out.”
I frowned. “I’m not hitting you, Gage.”
“Oh, surely you wanna hit me again. You hit me the whole way upstairs when people were watching. You’re mad, right? You were so fucking upset that you danced with Cal. I had no choice, Eliza! I had to pretend with her!”
“You didn’t have to go with her, Gage! You had options.”
“Eliza, I told you she knows too much. I can’t get on her bad side. I have to act like I still care… like she means something to me. I have to keep her close. Otherwise, she’ll become my enemy. I can’t just disown her like she’s a nobody. She has connections. She has ways of demolishing me.”
“I don’t care.” I folded my arms stubbornly. “I don’t care about you or Penelope or this stupid-ass bonfire. I shouldn’t have even come with you. I shouldn’t have even agreed to this! I knew you’d do something stupid. It’s just a shame you’ve done it already.”
He scowled at me, his eyes narrowing and his mouth thinning into a tight line. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. I was doing it to protect myself. My past.”
I kept silent, ready for him to just get out of my face. I wanted to ask about his past, but I was being too much of a stubborn bitch to even bother.
“So this is it?” he asked, dropping his hands to slap against his thighs. “This is it? You’re so upset with me that you want to cancel this between us—already? You’re just speaking out of anger right now, Eliza.”
I was still quiet. I was being snobby—I knew it—but I didn’t care. I couldn’t do this when I knew he would constantly choose her whenever she came around. A part of me envied her because he needed her around in some kind of way and it made me sick.
“Eliza.” His voice broke as he shook his head. I finally looked up at him and his eyes were sadder, guiltier. “Eliza, what do you wanna hear? An apology?” He took a step forward. “All right, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I went with her instead of you. I’m sorry for making you mad. You have to understand me, though. I would drop her for you… It’s just… it would take some time. It won’t be easy.”
I shrugged. It was enough of the excuses. Had he not been blocking the door, I would’ve already taken off. He laughed dryly and my eyes swung up to meet his. “Don’t do that,” he muttered.
“Do what?” I snapped, frowning.
“Don’t act like you don’t care. You can’t stand here in front of me and act like you don’t fucking care.”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t?” he asked, his tone rhetoric. “If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be mad right now. If you didn’t care, that stupid dance with Penelope wouldn’t have gotten you this upset with me. If you didn’t care, we wouldn’t be standing in this Goddamn room, Eliza. I’ll tell you something, though,” he said, laughing humorlessly, running a hand through his hair yet again. I noticed he only did it when he was nervous or trying to keep his cool. “I care. I want you. I’ve wanted you since day one. I’ve wanted something from you—whatever it may have been. Whatever you were to give me, I would have taken it and accepted it, even if it were a simple hug or a kiss on the cheek. Anything—something. It doesn’t matter as long as it was something with or from you.”
My face softened, the ice surrounding my heart chipping away with each sentence.
“I’ve had too much fun with you not to care. I’ve spent too many nights with you that it would be impossible for me not to fucking care. You piss me off, make me smile, bring me up, aggravate me—I feel all these damn emotions when you’re around, and if you can do that to me, then it means I care... maybe too much. I’m only human, Eliza. I have feelings, too, believe it or not. I just… I wanted you. I. Want. You.” He ran a rigid hand over his face, blowing out a breath as if he had been holding that in forever and was glad he got it off his chest. “So don’t do that,” he mumbled. “Don’t shrug your shoulders at me because there’s no way in hell I can care this much—that I can adore you this much—and you not feel the same way. There’s just no fucking way.”