We said we wouldn’t take it further than a casual fling, which involved kissing, hugging, maybe some cuddling, partying, and probably soon… sex. My cheeks sparked at the idea of having sex with Gage. Of course I knew it was going to be mind-blowing. What he could do with his mouth and hands was mind-blowing. I couldn’t imagine how great it was going to be with the muscle he carried in his boxers.
Soon, the moon had risen and the sun was nowhere to be found. I turned slowly to look at the body of water in front of me. The gentle ripples of the ocean reflected the glow of the moon like dark, exotic jewels. It was a soothing sight—one I could appreciate.
I enjoyed the times I could be calm and not panic. I enjoyed smiling, even though at first it felt odd to do so. When I moved in with Ben, it was the hardest thing to adjust to. His warmness, his funkiness, his hugs, and the way he smiled at me as if I were actually a human being.
Ben was the first person I opened up to about a lot of things. It was tough the first couple of months, and at some points I wanted him to just stop trying to make small talk with me and leave me alone. I was bitter… sad… alone. I was so used to spending time alone that whenever someone actually tried to be nice to me, I thought they were making a mockery of me.
Around the fifth or sixth month of living with Ben, I finally opened up to him—not completely, but enough to see if I could trust him. I had no choice but to put my faith in him. Since then, I knew I could trust him with my life. With my happiness. He wanted to give me the universe and, even though some thought he was unfit to be a role model, he’s the best damn father in the world to me. He gave me my space when I needed it—something my mom never gave me. He’d even given me my own room, and for that I was forever grateful.
I’d never had my own bedroom before, even though I was an only child. My mom rented a one-bedroom apartment and selfishly kept it all to herself. I had the rock-hard, lumpy sofa in the living room. The little bit of clothes I did have were folded neatly in the corners or hung in the living room closet.
Thinking about how low I started in life brought tears to the rims of my eyes, and the passageway between my lungs and mouth closed in, making it harder for me to breathe. It burned, but I blinked quickly, inhaling to get rid of the memories. I couldn’t cry again. I hated crying because I was stronger now. It wasn’t worth it to look back. As I’d told myself over and over again, it was the past and it was never going to happen again. She never again had to be a part of my life for as long as I lived. I knew with Ben by my side I would never have to look back. He promised me, and ever since, he was true to his word.
At the thought of the safety Ben provided, I inhaled again, breathing and nodding until I felt stable enough to take a step toward the water. Breathe. Calm down and breathe, Eliza.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” a deep voice asked from behind me, causing me to spin around quickly.
I gasped as Gage took slow strides toward me, his head tilted and a soft smirk on his lips. The jeans he wore were snug but loose. His hair was perfectly and deliciously tousled. He had on a light-grey muscle T-shirt along with matching light-grey Chuck Taylors. Oh, how he loved his Chuck T’s. Although his clothes were basic and casual, he looked completely irresistible. Amazingly delectable.
I cleared my throat softly, straightening myself, but the smile that had once been gracing his lips faded once he caught sight of my depressing features and glistening eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer.
“Fine.” I waved him off, running my other hand across my nose. I tightened my grip around the bag of my art supplies and then looked into his concerned eyes. “How did you know where I was?”
He smiled faintly. “Benny boy.”
“Of course,” I sighed, returning the faint smile.
“Seriously, though,” he said, gazing around at the empty beach, “why are you out here alone? I waited for you on your bus, but an hour passed and there was still no sign of you. After another two hours, I thought I’d come check up on you.”
“I did some drawing and painting. It’s been a while. Thought I’d get away from you and the boys for one night to do what I love.” I shrugged, forcing a smile. “Why aren’t you out partying with them anyway?”
Gage looked down at the art supplies tucked beneath my arm and then into my eyes again. “I thought it’d be more fun to hang with you. I thought maybe you would have wanted to join us, but seeing as you ran off without telling us anything, I guess I was wrong.” He smirked.
“It’s not that.” I laughed, adjusting the heavy supplies beneath my arm. “I just had to clear my head, you know?”
Gage nodded, licking his dry bottom lip. He then took a slow step toward me to take the supplies from beneath my arm as if he felt my struggle. He placed the bag down on the sand and then gazed into my eyes, his meek and adorable. “Sometimes nights off are good.” He inhaled, then exhaled, taking a look around. “How about we take a walk?”
I grinned, excited at the thought, but I didn’t want to keep him from his fun. As much as I would’ve loved to walk with Gage, I sort of knew he would like partying with his band more. “Gage, I don’t wanna hold you back. It’s fine. Really. If you wanna hang with them, go ahead. I can’t stop you.”
“You aren’t stopping me. If I really wanted to party tonight, I wouldn’t have wasted time coming here.” My lips twisted morosely and he chuckled. “But as I’ve said before, we only have a few weeks to share. I have pretty much the rest of my life with them. I’m sure it’ll be just as fun with you as it is with them. I don’t mind, Ellie.”
Unwinding my lips, I smiled up at him and his head tilted adorably. He revealed a boyish grin and then, unexpectedly, bent down to untie his shoes. “What are you doing?” I giggled.
“Just bought these. Don’t need ‘em getting wet or dirty.”
I smirked at him and as soon as his socks and shoes were off and I kicked my flip-flops to the side, I grabbed the hand he offered and we began our peaceful walk along the shore.
For the most part, my walk with Gage was entertaining. What amused me most was that his hand hardly left mine and if it did, it was so he could hook his arm around my shoulders and pull me in against him. It was comforting to be next to him—to laugh with him and tease him. The feeling was unfamiliar, but I enjoyed it. I was getting accustomed to smiling, grinning, blushing, and teasing.
He didn’t seem to mind much, either.
I noticed one thing about Gage I thought was weird, though. Whenever I would ask him about his family or his past, he would brush me off and change the subject. I grew suspicious, but I wasn’t one to pressure anyone into talking. I hated when people pressured me, so I just left it alone.
But then Gage asked something that completely caught me off guard…
“Are you still going to talk to Cal and Montana?”
I stared up at him blatantly, my eyes stretching. “Why would you assume I was talking to either of them?”
“You stare at them a lot. Talk to them a lot.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Probably more than me.”
I laughed, thinking in the back of my mind how he had no clue how much I stared at him. There wasn’t even a comparison in this situation. Had there been a chart, Gage’s side would have skyrocketed and outshone both of theirs. Montana didn’t even pique my interest. He was only a friend—almost like a long-lost brother. Although Cal did have a nice body, Gage had more for me to look at. “I don’t stare,” I corrected. “I admire.”
“Well… admire. Whatever. Do you find them more interesting than me?”
“No,” I blurted. Right after, I was embarrassed, especially when he grinned at me. “You’re just being really silly right now. Montana and I are just friends, just like Cal.”
“On a scale of one through ten, what am I to you, Ellie?”
“Ten being the hottest?” I asked, smiling at him.
He nodded, waiting for an answer.
“I’d have to give you a two. You’re all right,” I teased.
He laughed heartily. “Yet you admire. I must not be too shabby for those eyes.”
I giggled as he circled his arms around my waist. “What about Penelope?” I asked as he inched in closer.
The inching stopped abruptly as he stared into my eyes, his suddenly hard. “What about her?”
“Are you going to keep talking to her?”
He shrugged. “No.”
My head tilted. “How do I know that?”
“Because Penelope isn’t as much fun as you are. She talks too much, whines too much. She asks for everything.”
“And you think I wouldn’t do the same?” I forced myself not to laugh at how aggravated his face had become.
“I know you wouldn’t do the same. It may have only been a few days, but I can already see how you are.”
“And how am I?” I urged. God, why was I being so demanding?
Instead of answering right away, Gage placed a kiss on my cheek. I sparked on the inside, bubbling over. The bubbling swelled as he kissed the left corner of my mouth. His tongue traced its way across the line of my lips and mine parted, begging for a taste of him, but he pulled back. “You’re different—difficult to figure out sometimes, but different.”