By six in the morning I finally drop off to sleep, exhausted and defeated. The sound of a car coming up our driveway wakes me up at nine o’clock. I run to the window and look down. For a second my heart stops. It’s Victor. Then I see him get out of the car, open his boot, and take out a large cardboard box.
I have to cover my mouth to stop the sobs from escaping. I watch him walk up the path and come up to the house. I hear the doorbell ring and I hear my aunt answer it, but I don’t come down from the bedroom. I just stand at the window and watch Victor go back to his car and drive away.
After a few minutes my aunt comes up and knocks on the door.
I go and sit on the bed and say, ‘Come in.’
She comes in with the box. ‘Your things. It was nice of them, wasn’t it?’ she says, putting the box on the nearby desk.
My throat feels hot and constricted. I nod wordlessly.
‘Do you want to come down for some breakfast?’
‘In a while,’ I say softly.
‘OK, I’ll see you downstairs then,’ she says.
‘OK,’ I say, relieved that my aunt doesn’t want to talk ‘about it’.
She closes the door and goes out. I stand and walk to the box. I pull the duct tape off and open it. The first thing I see is my mobile phone. I switch it on and check it for messages. Nothing. I look at calls received and … nothing. There is a letter. I recognize the writing on the envelope as Cora’s.
Dear Tori,
I’m so sorry, duckie, that it happened the way it did. You didn’t deserve that. I still believe in you. There must be a way to work this out. If there’s any way I can help you just let me know and I’ll do everything in my power to do so.
With love and hugs,
Cora
I feel tears blur my vision. I put down the letter and go through the box. The leopard print dress is in there and so are the Medusa tri-strap shoes. At the bottom of the box I find another envelope with Mr. Hunter’s writing on it. Inside there is a check made out to me, the sum equivalent to two months’ wages. He has stuck a Post-it Note on it with the words Thank You. I think of Britney’s face when Octavia was reading my diary out and I have to close my eyes and breathe slowly and deeply or the blinding regret I feel will make me scream uncontrollably.
If only I had not taken that damn diary with me or if only I had never written those things. If only I had told Cash earlier. I had the perfect opportunity while we were upstairs, but instead I had sex with him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Then I suddenly realize that my diary is not in the box.
I wonder who has it and why they have not returned it. I hope Britney has it, because if she reads it all she will realize that I only felt she was shallow and selfish before we got close that night at the pool party. By the time we went to Milan together she was the sister I never had.
I get dressed, braid my hair — concentrating on the mundane is the best distraction from grief — and go downstairs where I talk to my aunt and pretend that I am not dying inside. My mom calls and I repeat the lie that I am fine with faux cheerfulness.
‘Are you sure?’ she asks.
‘Yeah, I’m sure. It was all a stupid misunderstanding.’
‘But your aunt said—’
‘Anyway, it’s all for the best,’ I interrupt, shutting her down with brutal efficiency.
‘I love you, Tori,’ she says after a pained pause.
‘I love you too, Mom,’ I say, and my voice almost breaks, but I manage to control it enough to say goodbye.
It is even harder to do when my dad comes on the phone and asks if I want him to send me a ticket home. Then I just want to crawl into his lap and bawl my eyes out the way I used to when I was a little girl and anything went wrong in my life.
However, when Leah calls, the dam bursts. I don’t try to hide my pain. I tell her everything. Every hateful detail of my imploded world. ‘My heart is broken, Leah,’ I sob. I never thought it would hurt this much. Then I cry my eyes out.
Chapter Forty
Cash
The door opens and a man in a police uniform comes in. ‘You’re free to go now, Mr. Hunter.’
I stand and start walking towards the door.
‘Er … Do you mind signing this CD for my niece?’
I turn to look at him.
‘I … er … ran out to get it during my lunch break. It’s her birthday next month, you see.’ He holds the CD and a marker pen out to me.
‘What’s her name?’ I ask.
‘Athena Williams, but just Athena will be great.’
I take the CD, sign it, and give it back.
He smiles. ‘All right, Sir. Thanks for this. You take care now.’
‘No problem,’ I say, and walk out of the door.