The trapdoor opens and I gasp a lungful of clean air before it slaps down again.
‘Fuck this,’ Cash curses furiously, and heaves again, even harder. This time I cough, retch, and up it comes into my mouth. I spit it out. A slimy lump.
He turns me around to face him.
Tears run down my face. I look up at his white face. ‘You saved my life,’ I croak.
‘What the fuck, Tori? You scared the shit out of me.’
I stare at his eyes, wild with fear and anxiety. ‘I’m sorry.’
He grabs me suddenly and pulls me close to his body and I hear his heart racing in his chest.
‘You turned blue, Tori,’ he says, his voice is almost a sob.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper again.
‘It’s OK. It’s fine. It’s all good now,’ he croons.
‘What’s going on here?’
The sudden intrusion jolts us out of our own little world. We turn towards the voice and see Britney looking at us with an enquiring expression.
‘Tori nearly choked to death,’ Cash answers, his voice hoarse.
‘Really? Oh my God. I’ve missed everything then.’
We walk to the Duomo together. Cash never lets go of my hand. Sometimes I catch him looking at me almost anxiously.
Chapter Thirty-six
Tori
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOR_HuHRNs
(Wild ones)
We arrive back at 2.00pm on Saturday and Cash and I part at the airport. He has things to do and I have to go back to the Hunter residence to make sure that everything goes smoothly for the party tonight.
‘See you this evening,’ he says, kissing the tip of my nose.
‘See you then,’ I say.
In my heart I know that I can no longer delay telling him the truth about me and I promise myself that I will tell him tonight after the party. Come what may. I don’t know how he will react but he must care a little. It’s not so big, my crime.
So I was a fan. Fine, I was the crazy mad fan he described, but that still doesn’t make me a bad person. I didn’t harm anyone. I was just young. Surely he will see that, unlike the other crazed fans, I came to his father’s house not to steal memorabilia but in an attempt, no matter how misguided, to heal myself.
I made a mistake by not confessing at the beginning of our relationship that I was a fan, but I was embarrassed. Who has never made a mistake in their lives? I am very nervous about the task ahead, but I will have a few shots of vodka, and I’ll be brave.
I dress in the loose-cut, tiered, cobalt blue mini dress that Britney and I bought before we left for Milan. With its high, squared-off neckline that connects to spaghetti straps framing a V back, it is fun and flirty. I team it with cross-strap platform shoes in tan suede and go to Britney’s room. She is standing in her bra and knickers and looking at the mountain of clothes on her bed.
‘Help me,’ she says.
‘I thought you were going to wear the off shoulder sequined dress ala Taylor Swift?’ I ask.
‘I’m not sure anymore.’ She lets her eyes run down my figure. ‘You look real cute, by the way.’
‘Thank you,’ I reply and walk towards her. I go to the pile of clothes and start putting them back on their hangers. I spot the maroon ala Taylor Swift dress under the third dress and pull it out.
‘How could you not wear this? It’s so beautiful?’ I say holding it up.
She grins suddenly. ‘You’re right. It is gorgeous and I will wear it.’
‘It’s so tight you won’t be able to kick anyone’s balls in it though,’ I tell her as I help zip her up.
She laughs and gets into a pair of Dolce & Gabbana black boots.
‘Wow,’ I say.
‘You’re not just saying it?’
‘Cross my heart and hope to die.’
While Britney starts on her makeup, I go downstairs and find people are already beginning to arrive. Lara, the party organizer, is ticking their names off her list. I go through the hallway and see that the caterers have set up their tables out in the garden, and all the furniture in the big living room has been moved into the other rooms. There is a DJ with his mobile disco unit. I go out into the kitchen where Cora is fussing over her version of jello shots. Hers have a mixture of rum, cognac and lemon juice. I help her put them into bowls half-filled with ice.
‘Try one,’ she says.
I pop myself on a stool. ‘Only if you’ll drink with me,’ I say.
So we sit and have our first shot together. ‘He’s a good boy, you know.’
‘Who?’ I ask, chewing jello.
‘You know who.’
I stop chewing. ‘You know?’
She leans closer. ‘Everybody knows.’
I sigh. ‘I should have told you, but I didn’t know if it was even going to last. You know how it is. Cash is a big star and I’m just the hired help.’