There were still some policemen loitering about but almost everybody was gone. Carefully, Ivan lifted me up and carried me as if I was a baby to Robert’s study. He took me to Robert’s favorite chair and lowered me on to the dustsheet. ‘Read your letter and we’ll talk when I come back. There is so much I want to tell you,’ he said.
I grabbed his hand. ‘No, we’ll read it together. No more secrets.’
He smiled. ‘No more secrets,’ he echoed. Hauling me out of the chair, he sat down and pulled me onto his lap.
I stroked the letter and suddenly felt like crying all over again.’
‘It’s OK, my darling,’ Ivan said. Circling my wrist, he brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips.
With great care I opened the envelope and was shocked by the faint fragrance of Robert’s aftershave. I brought it to my nose and inhaled it before it was gone forever.
‘I wanted to call him Daddy,’ I told Ivan.
‘I know. I know you loved him.’
I nodded. ‘Yes, I did.’
My throat closed over and my eyes were blurred with tears. I pulled the letter out. It was only a short letter. Just like Robert. Writing me a letter from the grave and keeping it short.
I cleared my throat and read it aloud. ‘My darling daughter, if you are reading this letter then everything has worked exactly as I planned. You have tipped your hat to the right angle and allowed the right man to seduce you. He’s wonderful, my stepson, is he not? Have the wonderful life you so richly deserve, my sweet darling. I’ll see you before you see me. Kiss the baby turtles for me. Love, Daddy. xx’
Tears were pouring down my face.
How much I had underestimated Robert. After his death I allowed myself to become convinced that his illness had made him careless. I believed he had miscalculated and misjudged, but he had not. He had laid his plans very carefully. He saw things far into the future that neither Ivan, or I had. I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. Then I lifted my head and looked into Ivan’s eyes.
‘I can sell this house and you can have the money from the sale.’
To my shock his eyes filled with tears. ‘Oh my darling,’ he breathed. ‘I don’t need your money.’
‘I know about the bank. I went into your drawer. I saw the letters,’ I confessed.
He smiled. ‘Oh, Tawny. I left them there for you to find. I knew you’d have to go looking. Those letters are not real.’
I frowned and shook my head. ‘But they had letterheads and everything on them.’
‘Yeah, you can have those made for nothing these days. I think Theresa still has about ten floating about somewhere.’
‘Why did you do that?’
‘Because without motive you would never have believed I could be involved. If you had not found those letters would you have gone with James?’
‘Maybe not,’ I admitted truthfully.
‘When they made their move I needed you to be off balance and not the sharp little cookie you usually are. I needed you to follow them blindly because you were so confused. Even if you had called me to tell me where you were going it would have all fallen apart. I needed you to distrust me.’
So much thought had gone into his plan. My heart felt as if it was bursting with love for this man. I never truly understood him. There were still tears in my eyes, and he wiped them away tenderly.
‘Oh Ivan. I really believed you were with them.’
‘Shhh… I know. I wanted you to. It’s OK. All is fair in love and war. I knew you heard my phone call. Hell, I threw a phone book against the wall to make a noise loud enough to wake you up.’
‘But I suffered so. You don’t have a clue how much it hurt me.’
‘Not as much as me. It had to be done. There was no other way. It was agonizing to see your eyes turn wary. To see you look at me with such hurt that morning. I couldn’t even stay in the apartment. I went straight to the office and I was like … what’s that thing you say I am in the mornings?’
‘Madder than a wet hen?’
‘Not that one.’
‘When you fall out of the angry tree and hit every branch on the way down?’
‘That’s the one,’ he said with a gorgeous smile. ‘I could never betray you. I love you.’
‘What?’
‘I could never betray you.’
‘The other part,’ I prompted with a happy grin.
‘I love you.’
‘You really do?’
‘Can’t you tell? Fucking hell, for a smart cookie you sure are dumb. Don’t you know when a man acts cold and disinterested in the presence of a drop dead beauty he is crazy about her?’
‘This is so hard to take in. I really thought you didn’t want me.’