"Mom, we hung out together for five days. Love has nothing to do with it."
"Maybe not now, but he seems like the type of guy who knows what he likes, and latches onto it, all in." She kissed the side of Faith's forehead. "I'm as in the dark as you are. And I'm sorry it turned out this way. I liked him. Your dad did, too. That's saying something."
Faith couldn't remember dating anyone her father approved of, which made all this even worse. She wouldn't have worried about Kyle's reputation one bit if he'd kept treating her like she mattered. Like she was special. That's what made this so frustrating-even after five days, she could see a future with him. Maybe not forever, but definitely past graduation. She'd been so infatuated with this guy, to the point that she thought he could've been the one-the guy she could finally say she cared about enough to take that next step. That if he had asked, she would've slept with him.
And wouldn't have regretted a thing.
Blood rushed to her cheeks, and her heart ached. She would've given him anything, everything he wanted. A rational person would be ashamed of that, probably, but she was nothing but hurt. This stung more than seeing Cameron in bed with Holly.
She stood and turned her back on the yard. "I guess he fooled all of us."
Chapter Thirty-One
Faith
When school started Monday morning, people stared at Faith everywhere she went. Lots of whispering, lots of laughter behind her back.
She didn't care. None of it mattered anymore.
Violet stopped her at her locker. "You okay?"
"Fine." Faith slammed her locker door shut. "Peachy."
"Girl … "
"I'll be okay," she said. "Although I heard Cameron is looking to beat Kyle up after school."
"Good luck with that," Vi said. "He'll be at baseball practice. Only an idiot would pick a fight with a guy who has access to friends with bats."
"We're talking about Cam."
"Oh, right. Then I hope he succeeds in finding Kyle. A beating would do him good."
"Just so long as he lands a punch or two."
Vi put a hand on her hip. "What happened?"
Faith shook her head. When she walked into school that morning, she'd passed right by Kyle. He'd smiled briefly at her, like a casual friend would, but didn't say anything. That hurt, but if she told Violet, her best friend would take on Cameron's quest-an enemy of my enemy is my friend, so to speak. "It's nothing. Just all the gossip."
"Ignore it. The scheme did what it was supposed to do. You aren't getting nasty texts from football players anymore, are you?"
"Only a few." Faith snorted. "I got twelve more asking if I'd meet up with them for lunch or coffee. Apparently, I'm now the school slut, which is laughable."
"It's going to be fine." Vi gave her arm a bracing pat. "See you at lunch?"
"Sure."
The day didn't get any better, though. She was so preoccupied, she failed a pop quiz in political science, and couldn't find her homework in English. When she walked into Spanish, Holly Masterson hissed, "Bitch," as she passed by.
Faith waved a hand, exhausted with the fight. "Whatever."
Snickers ran around the room and Señora Cabraya gave everyone a stern look. "Seats, por favor."
Faith went to her desk, wondering if there'd ever be an end to this godforsaken day.
When school finally let out, she only had an hour to run home, do homework, and be back up to the performing arts center for rehearsal, but there was no way she was staying at school. She dashed out to her car before most people had cleared their lockers. She hadn't seen Kyle since that morning, which wasn't a surprise-the school was huge. Still, she half wondered if he was avoiding her.
She let herself in through the garage door. A pile of mail sat on the kitchen table, as usual, but there was a letter sitting at her place. A letter with NYU's logo on it.
She approached the letter with caution, heart hammering. The envelope was thin. What did that mean? Was it good news? Or bad? She reached for it with shaking hands and tore open the end.
Dear Ms. Gladwell,
Thank you for your interest in the New York University musical theater program. Your audition was reviewed by a panel of three tenured faculty. Unfortunately, we are unable to extend you an admission at this time. You may audition again next year. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Dr. J. Rabin
The letter dropped to the floor, falling from numb fingers. They passed on her. She wasn't going to NYU. They didn't want her. She wasn't good enough.
Tears welled up in her eyes, and every nerve was raw with pain. What was she going to do? Where would she go now? None of the Texas schools that accepted her had musical theater programs that compared with NYU.
With a cry, she snatched the letter off the floor and crumpled it into a tiny ball. She still had to go to rehearsal and perform tonight like nothing mattered. The show must go on, or some shit like that. But all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry while letting her dream go. Mom wasn't even home to give her a comforting hug.
Faith went out to the porch and wiped her eyes. The backyard and all its colors mocked her grief. She wished she could pull up every azalea. Tear them apart with her bare hands …
Her shoulders slumped. No, she didn't want that. No matter how Kyle ignored her, no matter how awful this day was, the yard was beautiful, and she couldn't ruin it, even though everything else was.
She shoved the letter deep into the kitchen trash can so her parents wouldn't find it before she could tell them herself, which she didn't feel like doing, yet. There had to be some time to absorb it first, so she could talk about this without sobbing. She did her homework methodically, not really seeing, or caring, the answers she put down. When she realized she'd been reading the same page of Julius Caesar over and over, she finally gave it up. She'd seen the play twice, and that would have to do. Better to go on to practice early than waste her time.
She shoved every angry, upset, painful feeling down deep and drove back to school. In the distance, she could see small figures running laps around the baseball field. Kyle was out there somewhere, but he didn't care about her, or her drama, anymore. She wasn't worth his time. Or NYU's. No matter how many times people told her she was special, turned out she wasn't special enough.
She clutched her dance bag close, hunching over it, and walked briskly into the rehearsal hall.
Cade smiled and waved from the soundboard at the back of the theater. She was too upset to smile, but she nodded. His smile faded and he rose. "You okay?"
"Fine," she said. "Just got some bad news is all."
"Are you sure that's all?"
His face was so kind. Cade was one of those boys who was funny and sweet and totally underrated. He also had a way of making you trust him on sight. Why couldn't she fall for a guy like him?
Maybe that's why she said, "I didn't get accepted to NYU. Please don't tell the others."
He nodded. "I won't. I know how they can be. And Faith? I'm so sorry."
She blinked back tears. "Me, too."
She made her way down to the stage where Mr. Fisk was practicing a solo with Jenny, the girl who play Ado Annie. Faith couldn't help but smile. Jenny sounded exactly like Gloria Grahame, the woman who'd played her in the classic 1955 version, nasal twang, fake innocent expression and all. Funny how Faith had pretended to be a girl who "cain't say no" to the bad boy of Suttonville, and still didn't end up with a happy ending like Ado Annie.
They finished and Mr. Fisk spotted her. "Faith, come warm up, honey. How about ‘People Will Say We're in Love?'"
Her stomach clenched. "Not sure I'm in the mood for that one, Mr. Fisk."
He gave her a sympathetic look. Her drama teacher was well connected with gossip, so he probably knew some, if not all, of what happened the last week. "Then ‘Many a New Day.'" He smiled. "Everyone deserves a do-over."
She smiled, knowing full well it was weak. "That's fine."
"Cade, could you reset the board for Faith please? Drop channel seven. We won't need it."
"Will do!" Cade's disembodied voice called from the sound booth at the back of the theater.
Mr. Fisk waved her over to the piano. "Jenny's great, but she doesn't have the power you do."
Power, as if. She had no power at all. Still, she wasn't going to blow a performance for any finicky guy or mean university. She did a few quick vocal warm-ups, then nodded to her teacher. He started the intro on the piano.
The song was about a girl who had been courted and flirted with by a man who teased her. The girl, to teach him a lesson, agreed to go to a shindig with his rival. In retaliation, the man she really loved invited another girl to go with him. Now she was singing about how she didn't care, that she would move on. But in the end, Laurey couldn't move on. And she ended up hurt. The song was as much about new beginnings as it was about painful endings.
When she finished singing, she focused back on everything around her. Her cheeks were wet, and half the cast, along with most of the orchestra, had arrived. All of them were watching, and when the last piano note died, everyone started clapping.
Mr. Fisk gave her arm a squeeze and motioned her close. "You're as strong as Laurey, honey. Don't you forget that."