Sean’s eyes are locked on my mouth and as he inches closer my stomach fills with butterflies. I watch those dark lashes as he gets closer and closer. At some point I stop breathing and only notice when I shiver. Sean lingers kissably close, but doesn’t move. “Kiss me, Avery.”
I press my lips together firmly and shake my head ever so slightly. “Sean—”
“Kiss me. Use me. Take anything you want. I’m yours. I’ll be yours until I take my last breath and think of you every time I see the sky, the sun, or a snowflake. I can’t escape you and I don’t want to. Say I haven’t lost you. Tell me that you still love me.”
“I…” I love him. I know I do, but the words stick in my throat. I want to cry, but rather than giving into the emotional basket case side of my persona, I close the distance and press my lips to his. My eyes close as I savor the way his mouth feels against mine, warm and soft. I linger a bit longer than I should and then pull away.
Sean watches me as I sit back on my knees and press my hands to my lap. I’m shaking. I need to put some space between us. I have to think things through. My life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted, but there’s still an ember of hope that I can turn things around. I push up off the bed and stand. Sean doesn’t move. His blue gaze dips as if he knows what I’m going to say.
“I can’t. I need to go.” I don’t explain further. My eyes are glassy and I turn away before tears drip down my cheeks. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart so tight that it can’t beat. I need him and that’s what scares me most.
CHAPTER 10
I leave Sean in the room alone and try to find Jon. The place is quiet. I don’t think he’s opened the strip club one night since he bought it. I pull on my shoes, half hopping across the dimly lit room. Right before I wrap my knuckles against the door, a hand lands on my shoulder.
I want it to be Sean, but when I turn around, it’s Trystan. “I wouldn’t go in there, if I were you.”
I nod and avoid his intense gaze. Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I explain, “I need a ride.”
“And a bodyguard. Is Sean really letting you walk around without one?” Trystan glances back at the room where Sean and I slept with disgust.
“I don’t want one. Trystan, I just need a ride.” When he doesn’t answer, I pull out my cell phone and Google cab companies.
That’s when he huffs. His eyes cut to the door and then back to me. “Put that away. I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”
“You have a car?” I’m asking because I didn’t see one in the parking lot.
He smirks. “Yeah, I have a car.” A few moments later a huge-ass Hummer pulls up. The windows are tinted as black as the paint. There’s an older man driving. He slips out of the vehicle and opens a door.
I punch Trystan’s shoulder lightly and laugh. “Nice car. You made it sound like an old clunker.”
“I keep that one for personal use.” Smirking, Trystan folds his arms over his chest and leans against the vehicle. “So, do you need company? I don’t have to be at rehearsal for a few hours.”
I glance up into his eyes and can see the concern. He thinks Sean is mistreating me, that these tears are because of him, but they aren’t. They’re my fault. I’m the one who walked away. “You don’t have to do that. I just need some air, you know?”
He nods. The smile fades and he’s serious for a moment. Trystan dips his chin toward his chest and looks down at his Chucks. “Do you believe in destiny? Or do you think life is one random event after another?”
I stare at him for a moment. When he looks up at me, I can tell that it’s important to him, but I’m not sure what he’s wanting to know. He must read it on my face, because he explains. “If it’s destiny, it doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll end up with Ferro. But if we call the shots…sometimes there are no second chances. Sometimes things just don’t work, and people say ‘it wasn’t meant to be,’ but that’s bullshit, right? You want to start over. I see it in your eyes—but you linger too much in the past. I’m guilty of the same crime. If you’re a fate enthusiast, then have it, but if you want things to work out, then there’s only one way to do it and running away won’t fix that problem.”
I tense and snap at him. “A lifetime of shrinks couldn’t fix my problems. Don’t act like you know me. You have no right.”
Trystan lifts his hands palms toward me, as if he meant no harm. “Of course.” His smile returns as I climb up into the Hummer. “Tell the driver where you want to go. Hope this isn’t good-bye, Call Girl.”