“It’s not him.” I say it with complete conviction.
“But how do you know?”
“I just do.”
“That’s a shitty answer when people are getting whacked, Avery, and you know it.”
“It’s not Sean.” I repeat myself with utter confidence. Standing, I start to pace while rubbing my chin. “Sean has his own stuff going on, and he only fights back when prompted.”
“What about that shit with Trystan on the way in?”
“There’s bad blood between them.”
“But Rockstar didn’t start that fight. Your boy did.”
“And no one ended up dead in a dumpster either, Mel. Come on, think! What are we missing?”
We’re both quiet for a long time. I keep trying to pin this on Naked Guy or Henry Thomas, but something feels off. It’s too easy to pin it on one of them and there’s no real motive. Well, not one worth killing for. Henry is embarrassed and irate that Sean stole someone he wanted, again. Henry’s also pissed that Amanda died, but it doesn’t make sense for him to kill me to get back at Sean, not if Henry actually liked me. That’s the part that doesn’t fit in his puzzle.
Maybe he didn’t like you. Maybe he was using you. My inner-voice is a pain in the ass.
Mel huffs and shakes her head, still on the bench. “It makes no sense. We’ve got someone shooting at you and me. Maybe it’s a vendetta against Black?”
“By who?” I turn and look at her. “Who would want to wipe out her staff, because that’s what it looks like they’re doing. That’s why Black wants to protect me and she sure as hell doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”
Mel makes a sound of disbelief. “She doesn’t give a flying fart what happens to me.”
Shaking my head, I correct her. “I asked to take you with me, if I accepted the position as a madam. Black said no.”
Mel glances up at me with her eyebrows pinched together. “That’s weird.”
“Not if you’re her main girl. I mean she’d want to keep you around.”
“Yeah, but she’s sending you off. Someone doesn’t want us talking to each other. They think we’ll figure things out.” Mel bites her lip as she thinks.
I lean against the wall and tap my nails on the thick dark paint. “Mel, I don’t know how to handle this. If we call the cops, there’s nothing to tell them.”
“And they’ll throw my ass in jail. No cops.” Her eyes are wide and frightened.
“So, what can we do?”
“It’s simple. This is the way things were on the streets where I grew up. No one saves you, except you. There’s no white knight, no police officer that will rescue you. It’s time to fight or die, Avery.”
I repeat Mel’s old words, softly, “Surviving justifies anything.”
“Fuck, yeah.”
CHAPTER 8
I’m nervous, but I try to shove back the emotions. If I’m a psychotic troll, then I won’t notice what’s going on. Emotions cloud my judgment and make me second-guess myself. That won’t help me now. I have to trust my gut and that’s all there is to it. Daddy used to say that the best decisions are the ones you can feel. They have no explanation—you just know.
That’s why I find Sean. He’s sitting at a table with a half empty bottle of whiskey. I’m exhausted and ready to fall asleep on my feet. When I sit down, I know that I’m going to have trouble getting up again. Sean doesn’t acknowledge me, so I speak first. I offer the thing I want, because there’s no way to communicate how I feel. I’m mad at him and disappointed, but l don’t want to fight anymore.
I reach across the table and touch the back of his hand. “Come to bed with me.”
Sean doesn’t move. Instead, he stares at my fingers on his. After a moment I withdraw my touch and repeat myself. That’s when he finally speaks. “Avery, I can’t.”
“I need to sleep and so do you.”
His eyes flick up. They’re filled with so many emotions that I can barely stand to look at him. It’s as if the man has been torn in two and is still alive. It’s cruel and merciless, washing over him again and again like the waves pounding against the shore. He can’t escape his agony. “Not this time.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. We don’t have to talk. I just want you near me—we don’t have to touch. I know you don’t want that right now. Come with me, Sean. Jonathan said there’s an office in back with an inflatable bed. He already blew it up for me. Don’t make me go alone.”