The Arrangement Anthology 2(18)
I stay there like that, pressed to the wall with him still inside of me. Sean’s hands grip my thighs and his thumbs rub little circles on my skin. Neither of us says anything for a moment. I don’t want to move, but I can’t hold my legs around him any longer. They start shaking, so Sean pulls out and puts me down. My knees nearly buckle and my entire body is trembling, but I manage to pull the hem of my dress back down.
I hear Sean moving, redressing himself, before the lights come back on. They flicker, making me blink several times. As soon as his eyes adjust, he turns to look at me. Sean is pristine in his suit without a wrinkle on him. Meanwhile, I look and feel like a total mess. I’m covered in sweat and can barely stand.
For a moment we just watch each other. Then Sean finally says, “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
I lean back against the wall, and clutch the bar so I don’t fall over. I don’t trust myself to speak. Sean smiles at me and nods, before turning to the control panel again. I’m afraid he’s going to stop it and I can’t manage to be in here for another second. As it is, I’m going to need therapy after this, so I lunge for him. “No, please. I can’t.”
But Sean’s already done what he wanted. He pressed every button for every floor and then turns to me, smiling wide. “I needed more time, because I have something I need to tell you.” Sean tucks his chin and steps over to me, with his hands in his pockets. It’s such a boyish gesture, and so was pressing all the buttons, that I have no idea what he wants to do. The doors open and fresh air hits my face, calming me.
An irritated hotel employee is standing there with a crowd of people behind him. He’s saying something, but Sean ignores him. I take a deep breath before the doors slip shut again.
“Avery, I’m selfish. I’ve always been that way and what you just did was so completely…” he sucks in air and shakes his head. “There are no words. You give everything you have. You don’t hold back, and by God, if I could be like you for even a moment, if I could have your strength, your courage, your conviction—I can’t even fathom it.” The elevator is stopping floor by floor as he speaks. Sean doesn’t pause. He doesn’t look at the people waiting outside in the hallway, people who don’t want to get onto the broken elevator with the monologuing man.
The doors close and the pattern repeats until a little old lady gets on with us. She looks at me and then Sean, and smiles at his words. She’s wearing a pink paisley dress, with a matching pink satin bowling jacket that says RONKONKOMA SEXY DEVILS across the back, with an evening bag under her arm.
She reaches into it and hands me a tissue. “I think he’s going to ask you something, dear.” The old woman smiles, like this is the highlight of her night.
I take the tissue and dab my eyes. “Thank you, but you’re mistaken.” I don’t look at either of them and try to keep my gaze on the floor.
That’s when Sean drops to one knee and holds up a ring to me. “She’s not mistaken, and neither were you. I should have asked you. I should have said it sooner, and I wish I could say it better. Avery Stanz, will you marry me? Will you be my wife and share my life? Will you let me love you in sickness and in health? Will you let me stand beside you for the rest of my life? Because, if you say yes, I will love you with all my heart. I won’t withhold myself from you, like I’ve done for so long. I will protect you and give you everything I have. Will you share my bed, my soul, and my life?”
The doors ding open on another floor and the people smile at the sight. Me with a shocked face, the old lady is grinning and close to clapping, and Sean on his knee holding up a ring. As the doors slip shut, they groan since they won’t hear my answer.
It’s then that I realize I’m taking too long. My heart is pounding and I’m lost in limbo, caught between reality and dreamland. But I’m awake, and Sean’s looking up at me, blinking those bright blue eyes, completely and totally vulnerable.
I find my voice. “You jumped.” I sound shocked.
He nods. “I’d do anything for you, Avery. I’ll be anything you want, anything you need, no matter what you say, but I hope you say yes.” He smiles hard and those dimples flash and disappear.
“Yes. Yes, to all those things.” My lips quiver and I start sobbing as I hold out my hand. It’s shaking so much that Sean has to take it in his to slide the ring on my finger. When the cold metal touches my hot skin a shiver races over me, and I gasp.
When Sean stands, he takes me in his arms and holds me. The old woman claps and rides the elevator up to our floor with us, chattering excitedly, and wishing us well.