I can't fathom a life without emotion, without feeling. No matter how hard I try to disconnect my feelings from my body, I can’t. They come rushing to the surface at the worst times.
Like now.
I pull Sean into a tight hug and kiss his face. Sweat clings to his grimy skin as the dust cloud settles over the lawn. I pull back and look at him.
“Promise you’ll come back. Promise me.” I swallow hard, waiting for a response.
Sean’s sapphire eyes lock on mine. Deep within those pure blue orbs, promises mingle with pain. Darkness lies in wait, ready to reclaim him. He can’t fight it anymore. It’s time to choose between saving Sean from his demons and becoming a monster to save his family. I know his choice.
He pushes off the ground, his expression pure steel, and I can no longer read him. His voice is deep and dangerous. He points toward the other end of the driveway.
“There’s a car in the gardener’s shed down by the road. I can see it from here. They overlooked it. Take the car to Trystan’s and stay with him until I come back.” The way he says it is final. There is no other choice. He won’t let me go with him. When I don’t follow his order to walk away, anger flashes across his eyes. “Avery, I said go!”
Swallowing hard, I fold my arms over my chest and hold his gaze.
“No. I’m staying with you. I won’t leave you here, and you're wasting precious time arguing with me.”
“You can’t be here. If Vic Jr. comes--”
“If he comes, I’ll kill him myself.” Wow, that sounded scary. When did I become a badass? The tone of my voice makes Sean raise a brow.
“I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Then don’t send me off alone. Sean, come with me.” I reach for his hand, but he pulls away.
“I have to get my mother out of there.” He watches me for a moment, before grabbing my wrist. “Stay close behind. Do not run in front of me or you’ll get a bullet in your ass. Do you understand? I’ll shoot you myself if it keeps you from running inside. Do not take off again. Understood?”
As he speaks, my stomach flips and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. He means every word.
CHAPTER 2
I nod once and look back up toward the house. There hasn’t been a sound since the last explosion, which is weird. Rescue vehicles should be tearing up the sunrise with noisy sirens, but it’s quiet.
Sean leads the way toward the back of the house, stepping over blown-up bits of wall, beams, and what looks like a piece of the front door. The splintered wood is smoldering, sending up a black beam of repugnant smoke. The scent makes me gag as we pass. Sean suddenly pulls his shirt off and rips it in two, then hands one piece to me.
“Tie it on and make sure you cover your nose and mouth, there is too much smoke and ash in the air. If it gets to be too much, tell me and we’ll turn back.” He looks over his shoulder at me and I know he doesn’t want to do this. If we step back into this house, it’s possible neither of us will come out.
I do as he says and take the torn piece of fabric and tie it behind my head, adjusting the front to cover my face just below my eyes. Sean turns around, making sure I’ve done as he wanted. A giggle escapes me when I see his beautiful blue eyes peering over the top of the fabric.
“You’re laughing?” He sounds surprised. I shove the smile off my face, but it lights up again. I shrug.
“I’m an emotional lunatic. I can’t be held responsible for my giggles. Besides, if I didn’t laugh right now, I’d cry instead.” Sean rolls his eyes and is about to turn back toward the smoking house when I catch his arm. “Hey. Don’t do that to me. You deal with stress your way, and I deal with stress my way. If it helps me to think that we look like we should be robbing a bank and riding off on horses, then let me.”
I rise on my tiptoes, in his face and seriously scolding him as I speak. I can’t see anything except his eyes, which seem pissed off. It isn’t until he laughs that I back down. Sean clears his throat.
“I love you. Be the lunatic you are. Fly your freak flag, Avery. That’s one of the reasons why I love you. I’m just worried I’m too late. Mother wasn’t supposed to be here.” Sean turns back to look at the house. His eyes scan the tree line surrounding the property. His eyes stop and narrow, watching a single spot intently as if he sees something.
I grab his forearm and tug. Sean's eyes glance back at me.
“Thanks, partner.” I tip my fake ten-gallon hat toward him. I swear I hear a giggle come from under his mask, and I know he smiles because the corners of his eyes crinkle. I love making him smile.