I told him to stop beating around the bush. Well, that has a whole other meaning that I never thought of. Damn. Maybe it’s time for me to be brave, to step out of the shadows myself. This is my chance to get what I've always wanted, even if it’s only once.
Besides, he’s already broken me so many times I don’t see how I could be worse off than before. He sees my eyes and, in that moment, I swear to God he knows what I'm thinking.
“Avery, this is for you. I dropped my walls for you and only you. And you can say no. I’m not pressuring you into this. I know you’ve been hurt by me, by life. I wouldn’t blame you.” His voice trails off at the end of the sentence, like he would be in agony if I said no.
The truth falls from my lips before I can stop it, “I’m afraid.”
“So am I.” Sean watches me from across the room as he refills the tub preparing it with oils and lighting candles that float on the surface of the water. For a moment neither of us breathe, we just stare at each other silently. He offers an uncertain smile before he turns back to the water, adjusting the temperature, picking up twigs that fell from my hair.
When he finishes, he walks over to the shower where I’m sitting. There are over six shower heads and a control panel that I have no clue how to use. He presses three or four buttons and all of a sudden there’s wonderful warm steam and a trickle of hot water from overhead.
Sean extends his hand. “You can rinse off before you bathe. There’s soap and shampoo to get the wilderness off of you. We can check your cuts when you come out. Oh, and there’s a pink bottle, on the far right, that’s for you.”
That last statement caught my attention. What on in the world could he have gotten me? I drop the fuzzy warm towel and head into the steam, inhaling deeply as I go.
Oh. My. God. It feels so good. It’s a shower that feels as though it’s raining inside. The water falls gently, pouring over my body. I look around for the pink bottle and see it right away. It’s made of crystal and has a jeweled topper. I remove the lid and bring my head to the opening of the bottle, inhaling deeply. It smells incredible. I can’t decide what it’s made from. The scents are familiar, but I can’t place them.
I pour some of it into my hand, unsure as to whether it’s perfume or soap. When I put the bottle down and start rubbing, it’s clear from the lather that it’s soap. I rub it on my arms and my stomach and my legs, removing the remains of running through the woods, and tripping over fences. My muscles go slack in the heat and I can feel sleep catching up with me.
That’s when Sean comes to fetch me. He has a white fluffy towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else. His hair is damp as if he showered somewhere else. He takes my hand, presses a button on the way out so the shower turns off, and leads me back to the waterfall next to the bathtub.
Holding onto his arm, I feel weary. “I am so tired.”
Sean runs his fingers through my damp hair and down my neck, bracing my shoulders. “I know, but this can’t wait any longer. I think it’s something we both wanted for a long time, isn’t it?”
Looking up into his eyes, all I can do is nod. Gently, he takes my hand and leads me over to the copper tub. Sean helps me in and tells me to lean back. I do as he says, and close my eyes. The sound of the water wall is perfect, combined with the candles and gentle scents—it’s perfection.
Sean asks me to lean back and lifts my hair over the side of the tub. I try to turn to see what he’s doing but he tells me to relax. “I told you,” he says. “This is something I have wanted to do for a while. If you don’t like it let me know, but I think you will.”
My nerves are jumbled because I can’t begin to fathom what he’s going to do. Is he going to pull my hair? Is he going to cut it? Just as the next thought enters my mind, I feel what he’s doing. The same scent from the pink bottle that was in the shower stall, I smell it, and I know he’s lathering it into my hair. I feel the cool liquid pool on the top of my head before Sean’s fingers work it into my scalp. He massages my temples, gently and carefully untangling my hair with his fingers as he works that wonderful smell into it.
Sean’s voice is timid, which is so unlike him. “I had this made for you a while back. I didn’t know how to give it to you. I never thought you’d come here, not with me.”
I try not to moan as he rubs my head, “I can’t place the scents. What are they?”
As Sean pours warm water over my hair, rinsing the soap, he answers, “They’re things that remind me of you, that I kind of jumbled together. The scent of the ocean and newly fallen snow. The crispness of the winter air, and the smell of a fire. I basically asked them to make it smell like bottled snowman, but for a chick.” He laughs and continues, “Peter’s cologne guy in Italy nearly died when I asked him to do it. The funny part is, he said of course he could do anything, but when I told him what I wanted him to create, he just blinked at me.”