CHAPTER 7
I’m used to the way Sean moves, fast and hard, the way he controls me. This time though, that’s not the man that’s with me. Instead, I have a different version of Sean. He’s slow and seeking, tracing the lines of my mouth with his tongue while cupping my cheeks with his hands. He turns me so that the waterfall is over both of us, warming us. The movements he makes aren’t controlling. They're vulnerable and sweet.
I reach for his buckle, pulling the wet leather through the belt loops of his jeans. I toss it aside. There’s water everywhere, but he doesn’t care. Sean’s gaze fixes on me, watching me, wondering what I’m going to do next. Reaching out for his hands, I take them and put them on the hem of my shirt, inviting him to finish what he started. Sean takes the damp fabric in his hands and slowly slides it up over my head and tosses it to the floor.
Those sky-blue eyes wander over my slick curves before returning to my face. I expect him to go for my bra and throw it off, guessing that he’ll be harsh and forceful, the way he usually is—but not this time.
Instead, Sean takes the tip of his finger, and barely touching my skin, chases the water as it flows down from my neck to my shoulder and finally to my breast. The pads of his fingers barely touch my skin. The effect is a symphony of sensations. I gasp and look up at him. Sean pushes my wet hair out of my face, and cups my chin, holding my gaze on his.
“You really should not have come.” This time when Sean says the words, I hear the real meaning and it scares me to death.
CHAPTER 8
The intensity of Sean’s gaze makes me shiver. He mistakes the motion as coldness and steps out of the tub to grab a towel. He returns quickly and wraps it around me. “Come here for a few minutes, let me run you the type of bath that I was planning on giving you.”
My stomach swirls as Sean takes my hand and helps me step over the side of the tub. He sits me down on a cedar bench next to the shower. Sean hands me a fluffy white towel that I wrap around my body.
Now I’m shivering because I’m cold. Before Sean goes back to clean up the mess he does something unexpected. Reaching up under the towel, he finds my waistline and gently removes my pants and my panties. He doesn’t look at them, he doesn’t put my intimates to his nose and inhale. Instead, he just takes the damp clothing and puts it down a laundry chute. Before he walks away he gives me a kiss on the cheek and smiles. “I’ll warm you up fast. Just give me a minute.”
“Sean?” I’m not sure what he’s doing or what he wants from me. The way he’s acting is unnerving.
He was walking away, but when I call his name he stops and turns. I don’t know what to say, so I sit there with my mouth hanging open. I can tell him the truth, I can tell him that I’m scared, that this is too close to what I want—to what I’ve always wanted—and that if he’s pretending now, it’ll kill me. The words never come to my mouth but they must be in my eyes, because he seems to know.
“I won’t hurt you, Avery. Not again. I know you have no reason to trust me, and I know too much has happened between us, but I promise you, this is me. The guy they kept thinking wasn’t there, the one that I denied, but this is who I am.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, but at that moment I can tell he is as afraid as I am.
Pressing my lips together, I say, “Well, just so you know, you are nothing to shrug at. And I understand why you kept him hidden. We both needed two things to survive, things that were unbecoming.”
Sean doesn’t know how to respond—there’s a look of relief on his face and a half smile. It molds his lips into an adorable expression. I want to jump up and kiss him. It’s scary, but I think I’m finally getting to see the side of Sean that I know is there, revealed to me full force. Sean’s finally stopped hiding who he is, at least in front of me. The monsters have been left in the shadows and I finally have him, all of him.
I don’t know if I should hold back or give in. This chance may not come again, and I don’t want to regret holding back. At the same time my heart’s so brittle, so marred, that I’m afraid to open it up entirely again. I could manage fucking, I was so sure that I made a freaking contract. I didn’t think to exclude this part. I didn’t think Sean would try to make love to me and now that he has, I don’t know what to do.
Some people say be careful what you wish for. I used to think that was because wishes don’t come true. That’s not what I’m seeing in front of me now. This version of Sean’s raw and real, ready to give me everything I’ve always wanted. The question is, am I? Or will I be a frightened little girl and run away?