“Scott said I’d lose you if I wasn’t careful, and then he took you away from me. I thought I’d lost you.”
“You didn’t.” I smile down at him.
“I can’t keep you.” He lifts his hand and gently strokes my cheek. He’s hardly ever touched me that way and it sends a shiver through my body. Need flares and I want to be close to him and lay on his chest, but that’s not possible. He’s bandaged and it would hurt him to press on him there.
“You can, for tonight. I’m yours. I’m your friend, your confidant, maybe even your purchase, if you’d like.” I kid about the last part, but he still looks leery. “Sean, accept my help for once. You don’t have to fight off your past on your own, and God knows I don’t want to be alone either. Let me stay.” I kick off my cheap flip-flops and slip into bed with him. I lie on my side and pull the blanket over my jeans, and then prop my head up with my arm until we’re eye to eye. “Tell me to stay, Mr. Jones.”
The corners of his lips twitch, as if he wants to smile. “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t.”
The IV makes a noise and one of the little bags begins to empty. Sean’s eyelids flutter and I know it’s pumping him full of something that’s going to knock him out. Stroking the side of his face, I whisper it again, commanding him, “Tell me to stay, Sean Ferro. You need me here. Say it.”
“No.” His dark lashes close and then open, his sapphire eyes locking on mine.
“You need me.”
His voice is barely there. “I do.”
“Then, tell me to stay.”
“I won’t.”
“You will.”
Sean smirks at me and his shoulders relax. The meds hit him hard and it seems like he can breathe easier again. “I’ve always loved you. You know that, but we have too many demons.”
“I have a box we can shove them in.” Sean laughs once and then winces. It’s so good to see him smile, but I probably shouldn’t be making him laugh right now. “I’m so sorry. Are you all right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t do that, fuck that hurt.”
Something strange occurs to me and I know what it is. What I just did to him, it’s like the power he feels holding a woman within her fear—it’s a control thing—but it’s more than that. It’s erotic. I feel horrible for even thinking it, but I want to make him laugh again. I want to make him writhe with pleasure or pain. Maybe both. I watch him closely and drag a finger over his chest lightly. “Is this what it’s like? Feeling what you feel? Doing what you do? I could make you say anything right now, do anything.”
He watches me, and I know he’s trying to be careful, but the medicine impairs his judgment. He speaks freely. “It’s raw power, controlling someone like that.”
I hesitate, not certain that I want to cross this line. “It is. Now, tell them that I can stay.”
“I can’t. I want you to, but I love you too much. You need to go. Stay away from us, all of us. Leave Long Island, Avery. Start over. Please, I’m begging you.” And he is, for the first time in a long time, Sean Ferro is begging me to do something, but there’s no way I’m leaving him like this. Not now, not ever.
Leaning down, I press my lips to his ear, kissing him softly. “Tell them that I can stay. It’s a command, Sean. Say it. Now.” I press the call button on the bed and an intercom comes on. Static buzzes.
Sean watches me closely, his eyes silently begging me not to cross the line, but I already have. In my mind, I can see myself doing it. My fingers are already on the bandaged rib. I watch his eyes as I begin to slowly press, causing pain to shoot through him. He stiffens and grits his jaw, but his gaze remains locked on mine.
A female voice asks, “Yes?”
I respond, “Sean wants me to stay for the night. Is that all right?”
“If that’s what Mr. Ferro would like, yes, he can have one guest remain with him. Would you like me to let the staff know that she’s staying with you?”
Sean doesn’t speak, so I press harder. He grimaces, trying not to give in. I whisper in his ear, making sure my lips touch the sensitive spots, feeling horrible and wonderful at the same time. “Tell her, yes. Say it.” I jab hard, once.
Sean’s voice comes out loud and clear, almost an eager yell. “Yes!” I remove my hand from his bandages and watch him, feeling cruel and something else—something that scares me—but it tempts me, too. The nurse says she’ll bring blankets in a little bit and the intercom goes silent.
Sean is watching me closely, his eyes full of pain and lust. “You shouldn’t have done that.”