Sean’s voice is a whisper of music. It’s too soft to be heard, but I hear it. His hand strokes my cheek and soothing words fall from his lips. I love you, Avery. I’m so sorry I never told you.
Sean’s touch lingers, and then he slowly steps away. The inky blackness engulfs him and I’m alone. Time passes slowly, and nothing happens for a long time.
Then, my body grows colder. Sweat drips down my spine and soaks my hair. A bead trickles down my cheek and I wipe it away. I try to suck in air, but find I can’t breathe. I panic. The floor is gone and I’m falling, suddenly sucked into a black hole. I’m breathless. My stomach flies up into my throat and I flail, trying to grab hold of something. My mouth is open. I scream, and hear an echo that sounds too far away.
Suddenly, I feel my arms and legs. Sheets are tangling me. Panic has me in an icy sweat. I push up before my eyes are open, gasping.
“Whoa,” a male voice says. His hand is on my shoulder, steadying me. My head throbs and the room spins. The hand pushes me back down. I freak out and yelp.
“Damn, Avery. You’re all sorts of messed up. Stay still. It’s just Marty and me. What the hell did they give you?” Mel is talking. I can’t focus on her face.
I stretch my fingers and feel the IV in my hand. The tape itches. My eyes feel like they’re stitched together. I manage to pry them open and look around. The room is spinning. I groan and cover my face with my hands, trying to make it stop. When I lay still, things settle. I feel like I’m drugged out of my mind. I wonder if Marty and Mel are real or if I’m still dreaming. I look straight ahead. Mel is at the foot of my bed. I sweep my eyes across the room. Marty is next to me in a chair. I’m not in the same room I fell asleep in.
My brain wakes up and shakes off. Panic is prodding it to function faster and piece things together. Frantic thoughts fly through my mind like an out of control kaleidoscope.
They admitted me? I can’t be here. I can’t afford this. Anxiety rises up from deep inside me and vines into every crevice of my being. If I can’t pay these bills, I’ll have to declare bankruptcy. If I declare bankruptcy, then I can’t get a job when I graduate, which means my entire life is a wash. Everything I did to stay in college will be wiped out.
I completely freak out. My heart is pounding as though someone is trying to kill me. My voice sounds like a screech, “I can’t be here. I can’t—” I start coughing and can’t stop. My mouth and throat are so dry. My lips are bloody and cracked in the corners. I’d kill someone for Blistex right now.
“Shhh, Avery. Everything will be fine,” Marty says, and hands me a cup of water. I take it, grateful, and sip. I keep clearing my throat, trying to swallow. After a moment, he asks, “Better?”
I nod and hand him back the cup. My hands shake. There’s another question that I’ve been dreading to ask, but I need to know. The dream has me spooked. Sean shouldn’t be standing by my parents, not unless he’s dead. I want to curl into a ball and cry.
I manage, “Where is Sean?” Mel looks at Marty, but neither of them says anything. “Tell me. If he’s d-dead, tell me. I can’t take not knowing. Where is he?”
Marty looks down at me. His fingers stroke my forehead gently. “We’re not sure. They moved you up here last night. Mel and I got here right after they moved you. I heard they were working on a guy that was in a motorcycle accident when we came in through the ER. I’m guessing that was Sean, but no one will tell us anything.
“Mel grabbed your chart when nobody was looking and wrote down that she was your next of kin, otherwise they wouldn’t have even let us in to see you.”
Mel snorts. “Yeah, they didn’t believe we were sisters. I told them if they wanted to hear the fucked up shit we’ve been through, I got time. They let me in after that and I brought Marty up. I think I scared that little blonde nurse you had last night.”
Marty laughs. “Yeah, she thinks we’re in a gang or something.”
“A gay gang. That’ll do wonders for my reputation.” Mel sits down on a chair and looks so sullen, so sorry. She blinks away all her sass and for a moment, she’s nothing but worried. “Seriously, Avery, are you all right? Do you hurt? You want more pain meds?”
I shake my head slowly. “No, I don’t think so. Whatever they gave to me, made me feel weird. So, what’s wrong with me? Why was I admitted? I have no insurance. I can’t possibly pay for this.” My heart starts pounding again.
Marty sits back in his chair. He presses his fingers together. “I think you’re here under observation. They said you hit your head pretty hard. They ran a bunch of tests last night and are still waiting on some of the results. Don’t worry. They’ll throw your ass out as soon as possible.”