Amber laughs bitterly, “You need to get laid. You should have taken up what’s-his-face up on the three way.”
“You disgust me,” I say, staring at the ceiling and wishing she’d fall out the window.
“Are you saving yourself, Avery? You think the right guy will just waltz into your life and you’ll be in love? Get real. Life doesn’t work that way. Sex is dirty. It has nothing to do with love.”
“I feel sorry for you,” I mutter, not thinking about what I’ve said.
“Screw you, bitch. You act like you’re better than me, but you’re not. You’re a goddamn whore, you just don’t know it yet.” She sucks on her cigarette and holds it in. “Or maybe you do and that’s why you’re such a bitch.” She releases a cloud of white smoke out the window.
When people find out that Amber’s my roommate, they feel sorry for me. Her reputation precedes her. She’s a total whore and everyone knows. The thing is, while she’s absolutely vile, her words are true. I turn my back on her and feel the center of my chest cramp. After tomorrow, I’ll be a whore—a real one.
Pressing my lips together, I say, “You’re right.”
Amber laughs, like she doesn’t believe me. She waits for me to say something else, to bash her again, but I don’t. I can’t. I’m a hypocrite. I don’t like that she’s slutty, because it affects me. No, that’s not true. I don’t like her because she’s vile, because she’s always got some guy’s dick in her mouth. At least that’s what I’ve told myself all this time.
I don’t want to think about it anymore. I close my eyes, willing sleep to come, but it doesn’t. I lay there long after Amber passes out. My heart races so hard that I can’t stand it. I curl into a ball and feel the tears streak my face. I wish things weren’t the way they are. I fall asleep, wishing my life to be different, hoping for a miracle.
CHAPTER 12
Miss Black calls me and lets me know that I have a date this evening. I wear my new dress. This time I change in my room. Amber isn’t around. She’s avoiding me, which is kind of nice. I zip my new dress and put my heels in my shoulder bag, since I have to drive my car to Black’s.
When I arrive, Miss Black looks me over, approves my dress and then does all the measurements. Lastly, she comments on my lingerie. I’m wearing a white cotton set that’s trimmed with embroidery and lace. The bra is no more than a shelf. It barely conceals my nipples. If I lean forward, I’ll fall out of the bra and the dress.
Miss Black says, “The bikini panty is fine for the virgin gig, but when this is over, I want you in a thong or g-string. No exceptions.” I feel like a bad employee. I nod and don’t say anything. She seems to think that I’ll be staying here for a while, even though I told her that I’m not.
“Since the other night didn’t go well, I’m changing protocol with you. Here’s a phone. I will call you if your bracelet goes off premises. Mr. Ferro gets no more chances, understood?” I nod and she shoos me. “Get dressed and go to the car, and remember—confidence. Even if you have no idea what he wants or what you’re doing, act like you do.”
I walk to the car that’s waiting for me at the curb and climb into the backseat. I’ve had more time to think about this, so I’m not as nervous. Last time I was near puking. This time I just have a serious case of butterflies. The car pulls up in front of the same hotel. I’m given the same room number, which surprises me. I wonder if this is his room, if this is where he’s staying while he’s in New York.
Shoulders back, I walk across the lobby to the elevator. I press the button to the penthouse. When the doors open I walk to the end of the hall and knock. Sean pulls the door open. He’s wearing a white button down shirt that’s open at the neck with a tie that’s been undone. The shirt is tucked in at the waist to a pair of tailored slacks. He’s barefoot. The stubble on his cheeks makes him sexier than he already is. His eyes slip over me and it feels like a caress.
“I told them naked with a bow, Miss Smith. Do I need to call your employer?” Sean sounds serious, but the smile on his face makes my nerves fade.
I walk past him and into the room. “They said I wasn’t allowed to walk naked through the lobby.”
“And you do everything you’re told?”
“Only sometimes. Maybe.” I smile. “I’ll try it next time, if you like.”
He laughs to himself and shuts the door. Sean walks across the room and closes a laptop that’s open on the table. He’s been working. There are dark circles under his eyes like he’s under a tremendous amount of stress. I didn’t notice them last night. I walk further into the room and look around. It’s the same as the other night. He must be living here.