“No?” He tips his head to the side and tries to catch my gaze. “You won’t ask me?”
Shaking my head again, I whisper, “Don’t say things like that to me. You know how stuff is, Sean. You can’t—” I break off and look him in the eye. “I know you, that’s all. You don’t have to say things for my benefit.”
“You think I’m pretending?” He sounds surprised, but the way he looks at me says something else—like he thinks I’m a battered kitten. “I told you that I love you. I asked you to be with me. I’ve never said either of those things to anyone, not since before Amanda…”
That should make me happy, but it doesn’t. Instead, it fills me with despair. Sean deserves happiness and he won’t find it with me. Maybe we’re just sucking each other down. Maybe Mel was right and two crash and burns can’t save each other. Maybe Sean is just another person to talk to on the way down.
“Can you… do something for me?” I choke on my words, partly because I don’t want to ask him, and partly because I wanted him to offer it.
“Anything.”
I don’t want to ask, but I have to. “Can you buy me for a few days? I mean, since you’re here and Miss Black isn’t going to like you being around me without paying. Plus, she was pissed when I lost you. And Naked Guy said he booked me this weekend. I’d rather not experience that.” My lip curls in disgust that’s impossible to hide. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’ll hammer my ass into the ground.
Sean’s face is all sympathy, right up until I mention Naked Guy. In a flash, all his emotion disappears. He pulls out his phone. Miss Black is on speed dial. Can I pick ‘em or what? You never know when you’ll need a hooker in a flash. I’m an ass. Besides, who am I to judge. I’m the girl who’s the hooker, after all.
Biting my lip, I glance at my boots while he calls. I hear someone pick up and Sean answers, “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Same arrangements as last time. Yes, the same girl. Actually,” he pauses and looks over at me, “Send me two. Yes, preferably the one you sent me before with the dark skin and sharp tongue. Yes, exactly. I want them both. Is that a problem? Good.” There’s a pause and Sean looks down at his watch. “Nine works fine. That cost more than each of them separately.” He’s silent for a moment and shakes his head. “Fine, but lock in that rate for the next three weeks. It turns out that I’m not leaving town for a while. Yes…Done.”
Smiling too wide for words, I jump at Sean and hug him hard. “You bought me and my besty? You’re not hoping we make out in front of you, are you?” I tease.
“No. Jeeze, I try to give you guys a night off and—”
I squeal way too loud, “Awh! You’re such a good man!”
Sean laughs as I crush his ribs. “Only you would be glad that I bought two call girls.” The smile on his face is deep and reveals the little dimple on his cheek that I love so much.
I squee and jump on the back of Sean’s bike, clutching him tightly with my thighs, as he revs the engine and takes off still laughing.
CHAPTER 10
Sean drives down to Ocean Parkway to Jones Beach, where we spend a good chunk of the afternoon. It’s as close to my wish as I can get. Laying with my back in the sand, I watch the waves pound into the shore. It looks different than it did before Hurricane Sandy. The place has a different vibe, like underneath the new layers of sand and dune grass, it’s still devastated—or maybe it’s me who feels that way. Every day feels like a balancing act between trying to keep my feet in reality and pretending away my troubles. Too much reality all at once is a bad thing and I’ve already had too many bad things to last a lifetime.
I shivered a few moments ago and Sean got up without saying a word. I watched his broad back in that tight black tee shirt, and those jeans that hugs his hips perfectly, as he walked over to the store and disappeared inside. A moment later he returned with an oversized blanket and steaming cups of something good.
I sit with my arms wrapped around my ankles and let him drape the blanket over my shoulders.
He asks, “Hot chocolate or coffee?”
“Ooh, cocoa please.” Sean hands it to me and sits down so we’re hip to hip. I’ve taken off my boots, but Sean is still wearing his. I bump his shoulder gently. “There should be a NO BOOTS ON THE BEACH sign.”
Sean glances down at his shoes after taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m glad there’s not.”
“Why would you possibly say something so hideous?” I smirk at him over the top of my cup and try to take a sip. The steam travels up my lip and warms my nose.