Something stirs in my stomach and I know she’s reacting to something from her past. Someone did something to her and she can’t bear to watch me like this now. I slip off and walk over to her, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry, Mel. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Releasing her, I step back.
Mel’s tough girl act flies back up as she swipes at her eyes. “Fine. Whatever.”
Sean finally says, “Why don’t you come with us?”
But Mel shakes her head. “Nah, I have work to do, and I need to get a new dress for this weekend. Just keep her safe.” Mel turns abruptly and runs back up the stairs.
Sean presses his lips together and looks over at me. There’s a question in his eyes, but I can’t tell what he wants to know. “So,” he says, and takes my hand. We start to walk down the stairs again. “I would have thought you were a middle child, throwing a fit like that.”
“It wasn’t a fit.”
He smiles at me, but doesn’t argue. When we push through the doors that led outside, he asks, “So, how long?” The shiny bike is parked at the back of the lot. The air is crisp and sunlight on my skin feels good. I wish it were summer and I could spend the entire day at the beach doing nothing. Technically, I guess that’s two wishes. I can’t remember the last time I did nothing.
“How long, what?”
A tight grin spreads across Sean’s face, like he’s trying to hide his judgment. He swallows hard and glances over at me from the corners of his eyes. “How long were you two together?”
My brows scrunch together. “The thought of me and Naked Guy together is barfworthy.”
“Not him. Her.” He jabs his thumb back to the dorm. Toward Mel.
I turn to face him with my jaw dragging on the asphalt. For a moment there are no words. His crystal blue eyes meet mine and seem worried, like I’ve loved someone else all this time, and not him. My chin flops around like I have no jaw bone. “We weren’t together.” I might as well be spitting, because I stutter so much.
He seems surprised. “Really? Like, not at all? Because I didn’t see it until just now, but she cares about you a lot.”
“As a friend!”
Sean shakes his head and looks back at the dorm. “To you, maybe. It’s more to her, a lot more.”
“You’re insane.”
“Like I was insane with Marty?” Sean stops in front of his bike, unfastens his helmet, and hands me mine.
“That’s not the same.”
“It’s totally the same.”
I don’t know what I think about that. I glance back at the dorm and wonder if he’s right. “Mel has never ever given me the vibe that she’s into girls.”
Sean throws his leg over the bike and starts it. “Maybe she’s just into you.” He smirks at me and adds, “A lot of us are. I could make a list, and I hardly know any of the people you come into contact with each day. You’re addicting. Nonstop sex appeal.”
My eyes hit the ground with the compliments. They knock me off kilter since he hasn’t been acting that way around me. Looking up slightly, I say, “I thought there wasn’t going to be any more sexy talk, Mr. Ferro.”
“I never said that, Miss Stanz.”
“You said you didn’t want me.” I nearly choke on the words. They form a knot in my throat that strangles me even after I managed to say them. I can’t look at him, even though I want to. I don’t want to care about him, but I do. I’m still wearing the engagement ring I bought him around my neck. I couldn’t take it off. I swallow hard and feel Sean’s hands wrap around mine and pull me toward him. My eyes are downcast, examining his jean-clad leg and those sexy thighs.
“I said that I didn’t want to fuck you, which is very different.” For a moment, neither of us speak. Sean’s warm fingers feel good on my cool skin. I watch his hands, and notice how they fit over mine, like he was made for me. Ah, the musings of a crazy girl. I don’t think Sean Ferro was forged for anyone. “Ask me why.”
His voice is so soft, so careful, that it makes me look up. Our eyes lock and my stomach dips. “Because you don’t want to buy me anymore.”
“No.” He smiles. “Ask me.”
Parting my lips, I try to ask, but I can’t. What if it’s something horrible? All he’s wanted of me since day one was fucking. Sex isn’t an expression of love for him, so it can’t be that. However, since that’s the one thing I want most, I can’t stand the thought of hearing something else. I’m so damaged, so incredibly messed up, that I’d rather live in my head, so I close my mouth and shake my head.