Sean’s voice is flat. “I ruined your life.”
Smiling softly, I glance over at him. “No, you didn’t.” Sean makes a face that says he doesn’t believe me. “No, seriously, you made it better. You made me see that I can choose to stay where I am or try to claw my way out. I plan on clawing, and it would have been nice if you were somehow factored into that equation, but I’ll take what I can get. That’s the way the world works. Besides, I’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.”
Sean takes my hand in his, and the both of us lay there for a while as buddies. Amigos. Compadres. I can totally do this. I can ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach and the way my arm tingles because he’s holding my hand. Everything doesn’t have to be sexual, even though I want him that way. I won’t think about the fact that Sean didn’t correct me, that he didn’t say our relationship is nothing like mine and Marty’s, and that it’s not completely lopsided. No, I won’t think of any of those things. I’ll lay here and hold his hand, because that’s what he’s offered—his friendship.
Yeah. Being stuck in the friend zone sucks.
CHAPTER 4
Sean takes my new helmet and puts it on the desk. We’re in his tiny hotel room, which is nothing like the nice suite we had back in New York. I’m exhausted and flop down on the only bed. It looks like a double, which totally sucks. I guess I’m sleeping on the floor.
Sean sits on the edge of the mattress, by my feet. “You can shower first. I’ll—” he stops talking and pulls his phone from his pocket. It buzzes again. Someone is texting him. Sean looks down at his phone and grimaces. “Okay, scratch that.” He smashes his lips together hard and glances over at me with a completely conflicted look.
He curses and sends a text back before saying, “I need to go take care of something. If I leave you here to take a shower, will you actually take a shower? Or will you leave the room as soon as I walk away?”
My mouth opens and my cheek twitches. An offended sound that has a lot of hard k’s scrapes the back of my throat before I manage to spit out, “I’m not an idiot.” My hands do this little loop-d-loop thing when I say it, which looks very idiotic but I’m too tired to care.
Sean pinches the bridge of his nose, saying, “You sexted with someone and didn’t bother to confirm their identity.”
Wow. Thanks. “Harsh much?” I glare at him, giving him my best evil eye, but Sean doesn’t look at me. “By the way, I did confirm the guy’s identity. How was I supposed to know that he lied?”
Sean doesn’t state the obvious. Yeah, I skipped that part of the whole sexting experience. Fine, I’m an idiot and he’s too nice to say it to my face. Running his hands through his hair, Sean sighs and looks down at me. I’m still lying on the bed with my hands behind my head. “Avery, someone is gunning for you. This is serious, so please stay in the room. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t call anyone, and don’t do anything until I get back. Promise me?”
“How long will you be gone?” I sit up and try to hide the worry I’m feeling. I didn’t expect Sean to leave me alone. Picking at my nail polish, I add, “I’m a little nervous.” I hated admitting that part, especially because it makes the turmoil Sean is feeling about leaving me ten times worse.
“I can’t bring you with me or I would. I swear, I would.” He’s glancing down at me, but I don’t look at him. Sean leans over, taking my face in his hands. My pulse skyrockets as my skin burns under his hands. A current of sparks shoots through my stomach and into my chest, stealing my breath. It’s not fair that his touch conjures so much. I want to make Sean so lust ridden that he can’t think. I want him to growl, whoop, or do whatever he does when he’s lost in the moment. It’s a luxury that he has denied himself, and I wish so badly that I could give it to him.
Sean’s voice is tight when he speaks again. “Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can. It should be before morning.” He releases my cheeks and gives me a lopsided smirk. “You can sleep on the bed.”
“Were you going to make me sleep on the floor?” I sit up and watch him pull his jacket on and pick up his helmet.
“Of course. What guy wouldn’t want a beautiful woman at his feet?” He laughs and the sound makes me smile.
I smack his thigh, as if he offended me, but he didn’t. Instead my mind derailed into Dirtyville again and I start thinking about what kind of things I could do to him if I were at his feet.