The Arrangement Anthology 1(191)

Marty nods, as his eyes cut to the side, landing on the movie on the tray. “I thought we’d eat and do stuff you like. I wanted to give you a break from all this, so you didn’t have to think about anything for a while.”

“Marty—”

“No, don’t even try to say anything, because there’s nothing you can say.” He grabs his coat from the closet and heads toward the door, but he has to pass me to get out. “I should go. I’ll send Mel over or something.”

I stand quickly, blocking his way. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t hope something sexual would happen. If it’s the truth, tell me.” My eyes are glassy when I look up into his face. The plea in my voice is clear enough—I don’t want to lose him.

Marty’s gaze meets mine and holds for half a beat before he shakes his head and looks away. “Intentions and hopes are two different things, but after this, you don’t have to worry about either anymore.” He tries to shoulder past me, but I step in front of him again.

“Don’t leave things like this.”

“Why would I stay? Look at you. I tried to make you happy and let you rest, and look what I’ve done. I’m not the right person. I messed it up. I thought you’d—” his voice drifts off as his eyes lower. “I’m so sorry, Avery. I’d never do that to you—force you like that.”

Marty steps past me and takes the knob in his hand. He stops and tenses before twisting the metal. My heartbeat jumps to stroke territory. Gabe is going to see him leave and not come back. It’ll be another unfulfilled contract, and Black already threatened me. But, that isn’t why I’m afraid. My pulse is pounding because I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I know if he walks out that door, I’ll never see him again.

Marty is paused, stuck in place. It feels like hours, but it can’t be more than a few seconds. I’m afraid of saying something, but saying nothing sounds like a bad idea, too. I start talking and have no idea where I’m going with it. “I remember when I first met you, how you were larger than life. You were always there, and it didn’t matter what I’d done—you stood by me. We could have been good friends, maybe more, but it’s too late now. The stupid part is one day I know I’ll remember you and this won’t be what comes to mind first. It’ll be your decade style clothes and the way you said things so absurdly that I couldn’t help but smile, or the way you seemed to show up at the right time, every time. When I remember you—”

His shoulders stiffen as I talk, like I’m stabbing him in the back over and over again. Then he rounds on me suddenly, and looks down into my face. His hands slip up my wet cheeks, wiping the tears away, as his gaze dips to my lips. Suddenly, he’s there, kissing me and pressing his lips lightly to mine.

The emotional whiplash leaves me stunned, so I don’t move. His lips press against mine, softly before deepening. The kiss doesn’t last very long, but time has lost all measure. I keep thinking his lips are on mine and it’s not disgusting. They feel nice, safe, and certain. Marty knows what he wants, and he wants to protect me. He loves me, without a doubt, I feel it coursing through him, especially when he pulls away and I see his eyes.

Stunned, I remain still and watch him turn to leave. “Good-bye, Avery.” Just as he opens the door, I grab his wrist.

“Wait.” My voice catches in my throat as I squeeze his arm harder. “Tell me how to fix it, because I can’t let you leave.”

His eyes drink me in like he’ll never see me again. “I think I messed things up beyond that point, Avery.”

“Nothing is ever past that point. Things only fall apart when one of us gives up, and it won’t be me.”

“It is with us. Besides, it only takes one person to end a relationship and I think I managed to mess this one up beyond repair.” He presses his lips together, like he knows he’s going to regret it. I feel him mentally leaving me behind and walking through the door without looking back.

Desperation fills my chest, I want him to stay, I want to fix this, but I don’t know how. “Thank you.” He glances at me, not understanding. “For the reprieve. I need it.” A sad smile lines my lips, and nearly cracks my face into shards.

“So, why didn’t you tell me?” Marty watches me closely, waiting for his meaning to show up on my face. Those dark eyes hold mine, and I know what he means—what he wants me to say.

My eyes fall to the side as my stomach twists. He knows how he makes me feel. I tuck my hair behind my ear and glance up at him. “I didn’t know what it was.” The feelings I have for him could be attraction or a myriad of anything else. It’s hard to say. We’ve been through so much and everything got out of hand. “Don’t go. I can’t stand the idea of losing anyone else. Not tonight. Please, Marty. You were right. I need this. Stay with me?”