The Arrangement Anthology 1(171)

I don’t know what to say to fill the silence. I don’t know how to fix this. It seems wrong to leave him, but I have to. There’s no compromise, no alternative. Things just weren’t meant to be, which seems like a pansy-ass thing to say, until it happens to you.

My mind is reeling, trying to figure out something else, but there isn’t anything else. Sean came into town and now it’s over. I manage, “Call me next time you’re in New York.”

He nods once and reaches for the doorknob. As he pulls it open, Sean says, “I will. Take care of yourself, Avery.” Our eyes lock and the pit of my stomach drops. I want to lean into him, I want his arms to wrap around me and hold me tight—but none of those things happen.

“Right back at you, Motorcycle Man.” My voice picks up a quiver and I know that I can’t linger without busting a hole in my tear ducts. They feel swollen under my face, like I’ll flood the whole damn island if I don’t get out of there. I step through the door and walk down the hallway without looking back.

It’s the last time I’ll see Sean Ferro. I’m certain of it.

__

By the time Gabe drops me at the dorm it’s nearly seven in the morning. It’s Sunday, which means Amber is probably sound asleep. I walk down the quiet halls feeling like there’s an anvil on my chest. Sean isn’t the guy for me. He doesn’t want what I want. We’re too incompatible, so why am I upset? It’s better that I found out now. It has to be, right?

Gabe told me to get some rest and that he’d be back for me later this afternoon. I can’t even image faking my way through being with Henry. The whole situation is too much. I slip into my room and trip over something in the darkness. My emotions are so frayed that I can’t stop the rush of expletives that are cascading from my mouth.

Amber yells at me and flicks on the light next to her bed. “Holy shit, Avery. Could you be any louder?” I glance at her. Amber is sitting up with a sheet clutched against her naked chest with too much boob poking out for me to look at her.

I glance down to see what I tripped on—shoes. I stare at them for a moment and then look up wide-eyed. “No, no, no. Tell me you didn’t—”

“I was lonely and he was—” Amber’s shoulders rise until they swallow her neck and she gives me a sheepish look.

A male voice finishes her sentence. “Utterly fuckable. Yeah, I am.” Naked Guy walks past me in his birthday suit, which makes my eye twitch. “Hey roomie, nice dress.”

“He can’t stay here.” My brain is melting. I feel it boil over and leak out of my ears. I don’t have the patience for this. I don’t. In the calmest voice I can muster, I manage, “Amber, so help me God, he needs to leave right now or I’ll—”

Naked Guy slips into bed next to Amber and grins at me. “Take a chill pill, little lady. I was just showing my friend Amber a good time. I’d be happy to let you take a ride on Giant when we’re done. Yeah, I named him Giant, because there’s no point to calling him Little, right, Amber?”

Amber has a goofy smile on her face. I feel like I’m her mother, not her roommate, which rubs me wrong. My left eye twitches as I stare at her, waiting for her to toss him out, but she doesn’t.

“Of course,” I mutter and shake my head. I disappear into our tiny bathroom and change as fast as I can.

It’s the buttcrack of dawn and I’m so not dealing with them right now. I slip on a pair of sneakers and glance at the purple coat Sean bought me. I grab it and dart out the door. As I head down the hallway, I ram straight into Mel.

We smack together before I realize it’s her. “I’m sorry… Oh, hey. Late night?”

Mel nods after shaking off the irritation of being bumped. It’s like Mel can’t fathom someone not seeing her. Right then I wasn’t seeing anyone because I had Naked Guy burned into the back of my eyelids. Gross.

“Yeah, just getting back. Where are you headed?”

“Out of here. Naked Guy is back and I don’t want to witness the bumping of uglies. There’s enough ugly in my room already. I’m going to grab breakfast and sit at the dock or something until my client later today.”

Mel nods slowly, like she’s waiting for me to elaborate, but I don’t. She folds her arms over her pretty dress and cocks her head to the side. “You want to talk about it?”

“No. It’s a job, Mel. In fact, I’m signing on with Black for more contracts when I see her later.”

Mel’s golden eyes narrow like she knows that I’m not telling her something. “Yeah, and what about Ferro?”