I smile sadly and fold my arms over my chest. “It’s strange. Earlier today I argued that people don’t change—that they can’t. But I know this is changing me, but I can’t walk away. There are no other choices, Mel.”
“Tell Black no.”
“She’ll fire me. Gabe said she went to do it and changed her mind. Black’s getting an insane amount of money this weekend because of me. I can’t walk away…”
“But you want to.”
I flick my eyes up and catch her gaze. Hell yeah, I want to. I want to walk away from everything and everyone. There’s nothing here for me. My friends lie to me. My lovers are paid. Worst of all, I don’t even know who I am anymore. Pressing my lips together, I take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, I want to, but I must of screwed up my juju at some point because the past few years have totally sucked. That explains everything.
I rub my eyes and say, “Guess who’s not gay? Guess who’s been lying to me since he met me?”
Mel’s caramel eyes widen. “Marty’s straight? What the hell? He’s been lying to you. Oh my God. Oh my God! How could he do that?” She’s on the edge of the bed, ready to jump off.
“He said it was the only way to get to know me. He never said he was gay. I assumed he was.”
“That little shit. I’m gonna bust his face next time I see him.”
“He said he loves me.” I stare straight ahead, too overwhelmed to deal with it. He’s my friend, but... Damn it. Why did he have to say that?
Mel’s mouth forms a little O. She blinks rapidly and whistles. “Holy shit. What’d you do? Did you rip his arms off? Is there a trail of limbs in the quad?”
“No, I’m not you.” Mel smirks at me. “I told him off and walked away.”
“Marty’s your best friend, well, I mean when I’m not around. So what’d he think you would do?”
I shrug. “I have no idea. He said he couldn’t take it anymore. When I started working for Black, everything changed. Marty didn’t like it.”
“Damn, girl.” Mel looks pissed. She keeps shaking her head in slow motion with her lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m gonna tear him one.”
“Leave it alone. I mean, if you guys are friends, do what you have to, but I don’t know what to do with him anymore. It kind of freaked me out.” He’s so sweet, but I don’t think of him like that. That’s how we ended up being friends. I’m leery of guys who want to hang around for no reason, because there’s never no reason. Even with Marty. Why is every guy I know screwed up?
I look up at Mel. “You really think it’ll change me?” I’m talking about working for Black again, about the two men I’m supposed to be with this weekend.
Mel is completely serious. She drops her thick accent and head swaying ways. “It will. And Sean wants some fucked up shit. If that doesn’t change you, you’re not alive. Throw in the other guy and I don’t see how you’ll be the same after two nights with crazy and one afternoon with choir boy.” Mel looks up at me. “Avery, Sean wants to own you. I’ve seen guys like that before, but he’s ten times more twisted. He’ll break you to do it. That’s part of what he wants.” I’m about to ask how she can be sure when she glances at the floor and pushes off the bed. “I know, because I asked him what he’d do to me.”
I swallow hard and pull my feet under my legs. “He told you?”
She nods. “He honed in on the thing that I couldn’t—“ She makes a noise in the back of her throat and shakes her head. “He found what scares me shitless and he’d use it against me. How can you want to be with someone like that? Does he know what freaks you out like that?”
I nod. “He figured it out already.”
“I don’t know, Avery. The whole thing is messed up. You’re getting into mental fucks and most people don’t bounce back from those.”
CHAPTER 11
I’m wearing a new silky blue dress with a swishy skirt. Black just sent me off with pride on her face. Sean must have spoken with her at length about me. I pull out the little bracelet and put it on my wrist. This one fits better than the last.
Gabe glances at me in the mirror. It’s the third time he’s done that.
“Just say it,” I finally tell him.
“You’re a good kid. Ferro will eat you alive. You shouldn’t be with a guy like him.”
“What did he do? You act like he’s ruthless or something.”
Gabe shakes his head. “Black made sure the guys are safe, no convictions, no assault records, but some guys get around that.”