“Sorry. I’m kind of—” I don’t know what I am. I stop talking and fold my arms over my chest. “Where are you off to?”
“Wrong question. Where am I coming back from? And the answer is Black’s. And she told me some twisted shit, so let’s chat.” Mel jerks her head to the side and I turn back and follow her to her room.
“What twisted stuff was she saying about me?” I ask as I slump into Mel’s perfectly pink chair. I steeple my fingers and arch an eyebrow at her.
Mel laughs and sits on the edge of her bed. “She said that you’re pulling a double this weekend, as in two guys. Is that true?”
“Well, yeah, but not at the same time.” My mind goes back to that list at Miss Black’s. I said I’d do anything. I didn’t even look to see if a ménage à trois was on there. It probably is. My eyes flick up to Mel’s.
“Avery, what the hell are you doing?” Mel has her hands in her lap. She leans forward and rests her elbows on her knees. “I heard what you said at Sean’s last week. You went bat-shit crazy, by the way.”
I laugh at her. “That wasn’t bat-shit crazy.”
“No. I distinctly remember you saying you didn’t want this. You didn’t want this life. You were talking about Black. You said you couldn’t do it anymore, but here you are signing up to fuck two guys in one weekend. Have you lost your mind?”
“I don’t have a choice, do I? Black is pissed at me. She’s always pissed at me. If I didn’t say I was open to anything, she would have tossed me by now.” I can’t let that happen. I have to finish what I started. I need to get my degree so I can get on with my life. This is just a stepping-stone; at least, I thought it was.
Mel looks like she doesn’t know what to say. She finally says, “You’re not cut out for this. You’re too soft. When I suggested it, I had no idea. Avery, you should call Black and bow out.”
“You think I should quit?”
“I think you should to cut yourself off from Sean, and go after that other guy. Black said he’s in love with you. It would fix your money problems and you seem to like the idea of screwing around with one guy. Who knew you were Miss Monogamy?”
I tense. “Henry is not in love with me.”
Mel shrugs and sits up. “Say what you want, but you have a problem. And it’s the self-destructive exploding kind.”
I don’t know what to say. I look at the hole in my jeans and pick at the frayed fabric. “You don’t think I can do it?”
She shakes her head. “No. I’m sorry I brought you there. The only way you can go through with this is if you change and become so apathetic that you don’t care who does you. Do you want to be that girl?”
“Are you that girl?”
Mel flinches like I slapped her. “What the fuck? No, I’m not that girl! I like my job. I have one client on most weekends. One guy. It fits into my idea of normal. This isn’t normal for you. In what universe would you sleep with two guys back-to-back like that? In what universe would you do it when you know they hate each other? Even if you were a spiteful bitch, which you’re not, you still wouldn’t do that. This reality you’ve made doesn’t mesh inside your head. There’s only one outcome when things get like that and it ain’t pretty.”
I swallow hard. My eyes shift back and forth before I look up at her. “Henry doesn’t want sex, not yet.”
She laughs, like I’m funny. “What? So how far are you going with him this weekend? Does he know you’re fucking Sean first?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think so. Henry wanted to date me. He’s pretending that we—”
Mel shakes her head. Her huge earrings swing back and forth. “No. That is not okay. That’s when things get messed up. The guy will think he’s with you.”
“Henry knows he’s not.”
“But it feels like he is. I’m telling you, this is a bad plan, Avery. Get out of it.”
I glance at my hands and turn my palms over. “I never thought I’d do stuff like this, you know? I never thought I’d have to. Pratz wants me to cut back my hours. He said if I don’t, grad school isn’t a possibility. They’ll admit me, but I won’t be able to keep up. Then Black hires me out for the entire weekend.” Glancing up at Mel, I say, “I thought I’d find someone, you know? I thought he’d save me from all this, but no one came. I’m the only person who can save me and this is the only way to do it.”
“You’re sacrificing yourself. I’m telling you, once you do this—I mean really do it—you won’t be the same. And once you start taking a client every night, there’s no going back. The person you were before will be gone, whether you want to lose her or not.”