“Then, don’t. Come on. Let’s get out of here before we get shot.”
CHAPTER 3
The next morning I rub my eyes and roll over. My head is pounding. The bed beneath me creaks and I realize where I am. I feel the supple sheets and Marty’s scent fills my head. I push up on my elbows and look around the room. Last night is a blur of tears and regret. Going to Babylon was a mistake. I figured I already had my heart ripped out of my chest. I didn’t think I could make it worse. I was wrong.
“Hey lazy bones.” Marty is wearing a pair of lacrosse shorts and no shirt. His hair is rumpled, but other than that he looks normal. There’s no trace of a late night under his eyes.
“Hey.” I look down at my clothes. I’m wearing one of Marty’s old tee shirts. My red dress isn’t in sight. Neither is my bra. I threw them on the floor last night and collapsed on the bed. “I feel like I was comatose. God…” I rub my head. It’s still throbbing.
“Hang over?” Marty is sitting at the kitchen counter across from me. He has an efficiency apartment, which means his bedroom is in his living room. I can see the entire apartment. I haven’t been over here much. It’s decorated nicely, but not as nicely as he decorated my dorm room. I shove the thought aside even though something seems out of place.
“I wish. I could deal with that.”
“Gonna tell me what happened?”
I stare at him. I feel like someone chopped me up and put me back together. It seems like every stich and every scar is showing. I wonder if I have bolts in my neck. I’m turning into a monster. I know it. I feel it. The pieces of me that remain are so small. “I caught Mel with Sean.” His jaw drops. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, but they said nothing happened.”
“I’ll bitchslap Mel for you.”
“I already did.”
Marty looks impressed. “No way. And you lived to tell about it. She’s knifed people for doing less, you know.”
“I know.” I twist the sheet between my fingers as we talk.
“So, let’s pretend that I ate too much glue when I was little, and that I don’t fully grasp the implications of what you’re saying. So what? I mean, you’re still hooking, so who cares if another girl fucks your guy? I mean, you’re doing it. Doesn’t it seem a little bit hypocritical to be mad if Mr. Twisted decides to have sex with someone else?”
“Yeah, I’m a hypocrite. That’s what had me in that funk last night.” I say sarcastically and sigh as I rub my face with the heels of my hands.
“Then, spell it out.”
I glance up at him. “It was who Sean was with that was the problem. Mel didn’t tell me. She can’t tell Black no, but she could have mentioned it to me.”
“And what would you’ve done?”
I stare at him. “I don’t know.”
“He’s not yours, Avery. And Mel’s gotta work.”
“You’re taking her side?” I shoot daggers at him.
Marty waives his hands frantically, “No, but what do you want to happen here? Mel’s your best friend. And you still have a thing for Sean. There’s no happy ending with him, Avery.”
I close my eyes and groan. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You need to. Deal with it. You got a shitty hand. Deal with it.” I look up and Marty’s eyes lock with mine. “Chose someone who can help you deal with it. Sean can’t. He hasn’t even faced his own shit, so he can’t help you with yours.”
My stomach dips. The way he’s looking at me, the barely contained emotion in his eyes makes me look away. My heart thumps to life inside of me and I don’t know why. “How do you know he can’t help me? Maybe Sean’s has dealt with his past and—”
Marty laughs and folds his arms over his bare chest. “He’s dealt with his ghosts as much as you have.”
I bristle. “I’ve dealt with mine.”
“No you haven’t. That’s why you’re a mess. That’s why you can’t move forward. Stop making excuses. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It won’t change anything.
“Keep your close friends close, and walk through the fire already. There’s a life waiting for you on the other side. I swear to God it gets better, but you’ll never get there with a guy like that. Sean’s pulling you down with him.” Marty’s gaze bores into me. His words are like stones falling from the sky. Each one hits me hard.
I feel naked, like he sees through me. I hate it. I want to pull the blankets up to my neck, but I know it won’t hide anything. He knows me too well. “You think he’s a crash and burn?”