I don’t wait. I run toward the end of the hallway and shove through the door. I’m in the stairwell. Before I know it, I’m running down the stairs as quickly as possible. Just as I fly down the first set of steps, the door bangs open. Sean is standing there, shirt open, and breathing hard.
I stop. Time freezes and I wish to God that we never met. His eyes lock with mine. His lips part like he’s going to say something, but I don’t want to hear it. I’m done. No, it’s past that. I can’t bear this. I can’t take the lot I’ve been handed. It’s strangling the life out of me. As it is, I can barely breathe. The moment shatters when I look away. I’m running, heart pounding, flying down the stairs. My hand grips the railing hard as my body whirls around when I reach the landing. My heels are slowing me down.
Sean’s voice rings out behind me. “Avery, wait!” But I don’t stop.
Footfalls follow close behind me growing louder and louder. There’s no going back, not after this. Mind racing, I try to decide what to do, where to go. They both know the places I run to when I’m shaken, when life has brought me to my knees. My heel catches the edge of a step wrong and I stumble forward. My arms flail in front of me and I catch my balance.
“Damn it, Avery! Stop!” Sean is closer, so much closer. If he touches me, I’ll scream. Emotions are building inside of me and the only thing that keeps me from shattering is that he isn’t touching me. He can’t touch me. I can’t stop.
The balls of my feet smack each step, barely touching it as I fly down another flight. I’m huffing. Hysteria is closing in around me. I feel it slick over my skin like a snake. I can’t choke it back down. I can’t banish it. Sean calls out again, but I don’t stop.
Just as I’m about to round another landing, there’s a loud crash behind me. Sean stumbles forward after jumping from the stairs above. He curses as he lands and his knee buckles, knocking him toward me. The momentum sweeps us into the wall.
“You have the shittiest timing,” he huffs. Sean’s body is crushing me into the wall. He takes a deep breath and straightens, but leaves me trapped between his body and the wall. A hand rests on either side of my head. He leans into me. “It’s not what it looks like.”
I don’t want to hear it. “I know what I saw.”
I try to twist away from him. My heart is slamming into my ribs and my brain is telling me that it’s going to break if I stay here. He can’t touch me. I have to leave. I have to. Frantic, I try to twist away from him and duck under his arm, but Sean’s hand juts out and grabs my wrist.
“Let me go,” I growl. My voice is so low. I’m going to snap. I feel my mental rope—the one that holds me together—coming apart string by string.
Sean leans in close to my face. “No. You’re wrong and if I let you go, I’ll never see you again. Walk up the stairs, Avery.”
I shake my head and try to pull away. “Go fuck the rest of my friends, and leave me alone.”
“Avery.” There’s a warning tone in his voice, but I don’t care.
I dig my nails into his arm and try to pry my wrist away. “I said leave me alone!” I scream the words in his face. They echo through the stairwell. The vibrations bounce back at us.
As I speak, I twist and fall to the floor. Sean can’t hold me. My wrist comes free. I jump up and just as I start to run, he grabs me by the waist. I scream as I’m whirled around and hurled over his shoulder. My dress gets hiked up insanely high. Sean holds onto my legs at my thigh and tightens his grip. I kick and slam my fists into his back, but he doesn’t let go. Sean turns and starts back up the stairs. The movement makes me stop flailing. I hold onto him, afraid of falling over the edge of the railing and down the center of the staircase.
He can tell I’m afraid. “You should have walked back up the stairs.” That’s all he says before his walk turns into a run. I bounce on his shoulder and cling to him like I’m going to die. A terrified scream rips from my throat. Sean finally hits the top landing and pushes back through the door. We’re in the hallway and headed toward his room.
Mel’s voice rings out as we approach. “Awh, shit. She’s going to kill you when you put her down. You know that, right?”
Sean moves fast. He shoves past Mel and we’re in his room. I hear the door close behind me. Mel leans against it and shakes her head before turning away. I want to scream at her, but just as I start to talk, I’m jostled. Sean’s hands are around my waist. He lifts me from his shoulder, and tosses me on the bed. I yelp as I fall through the air and land on the mattress.