The Arrangement Anthology 1(112)

I laugh. There’s a lazy sated smile on my face. “You’re horrible.”

“You’re delicious.” He licks his lips slowly.

“Avery? Are you still in there?” Marty’s voice rings out and suddenly I’m fully alert. I press my finger to my lips and hope Sean doesn’t say anything.

I clear my throat and try to sound normal. “Yeah. I’ll be up in a second.”

“Okay, just checking. It’s been a while.” His voice is so close. I know he’s right on the other side of the door. I don’t want to explain Sean, and I know Marty will kill me if he knows what I just did.

Sean is quietly watching me as I lie to one of my best friends. My eyes pinch shut. “Sorry. I found something else I wanted to try. I’ll be right up.”

“Yeah,” Marty says, but his voice doesn’t sound right. I think he knows, but Marty walks away without another word.

I sigh and sit down hard on the little bench and bury my face in my hands. Sean is standing, looking down at me. “I don’t like lying to him.”

“Then don’t.”

I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “I can’t. Marty and Mel don’t want me around you. They think you’re going to…” my voice trails off and I look up at him.

Sean finishes the sentence for me. “Hurt you.”

I nod. “It’s more than that, though. Mel doesn’t even want me to be your friend. Maybe that’s because she knows that I can’t. Damn it, Sean. Things can’t be like this.” I stand and pull on my panties. I take the clips off and put them back in the black case. I finish getting dressed.

While I’m dressing, he says nothing. Sean just leans against the back wall of the dressing room with his hands behind his back. When I look over at him, there’s a pensive expression on his face. I throw my purse on my shoulder before grabbing the black box and holding it out to Sean.

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t pull his hands out from behind his back and take them. Instead he shakes his head. “No, you need those. They complete your outfit for work. Wear them.”

My stomach dips. How can he act so detached? Sean’s talking about another guy having sex with me, and it’s like he doesn’t care. “What are you doing?”

Sean straightens. His eyes narrow as he looks at me. I have no idea what he’s thinking. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t give me that crap. How can you possibly be okay with sharing me?”

“I’m not okay with sharing you. I don’t like it at all, but I can’t ask you to stop. It’s something you need. I understand that. The guy that’s always drooling on your shoulder, I can’t stand.” He’s so frustratingly calm that I want to punch him in the face. Sean blinks at me like I’m crazy.

“You don’t want me hanging out with Marty, but I can go fuck a client?” Sean nods slowly. His dark hair falls forward with the movement. Sean looks at his shoe before returning his gaze to my face.

“You’re lying.” I step toward him and get up in his face. Sean’s lips are a breath away. His eyes are intently focused, our gazes lock. “You don’t want to share me at all. You’re trying to get me fired.”

“I could have kept you. I didn’t.”

“Things got too serious and you chickened out.”

“Your perception of reality is skewed, Miss Smith. You better blink and wake up from that dream of yours.”

I laugh once, hard. He’s pushing every button I have and I don’t know why. Sean does this every time I mention anything about labeling what we are. I reel in my anger and cut my gaze to the floor. When I look back up at him, I breathe, “You’re the one who needs to stop dreaming, Mr. Jones. One day I won’t be there when you need me, I won’t magically show up, and I won’t give you another chance.”

Sean doesn’t blink. I’m lost in his eyes for a moment. There’s something there, a wall that I can’t get past. I wonder if he’ll ever let me in, if he’ll ever tell me what happened to him that made him this way. Sean finally looks away. He lowers his head and steps back. His silence irritates me. Sean doesn’t offer any explanation or anything.

I make an annoyed sound and reach for the door. Just as my hand lands on the knob, Sean takes my wrist. I look back at him. Sean doesn’t lift his gaze. Instead he stares at my hand, in his grip. “There’s no future for us, but I don’t want to let you go.”

“Then, change your future. Let someone in. You’re doing this to yourself and I was stupid enough to go along with it.” Sean looks up at me and I’m screwed. All my resolve melts and washes away because there’s genuine fear in his eyes. He’s afraid he’s going to lose me. “Sean…”