The Arrangement .(32)

“Then why didn’t you call me and let me know you were pregnant?” he asked, stark emotion etched in his face.

“I did, but when you weren’t in, I … don’t know. I needed time to think, to make a decision about what to do.”

“A decision? There’s no decision to be made. There’s only one way this can go. Starting now, I want to be a part of my child’s life. I intend to participate in everything, going to the doctor’s visits, making sure you have the proper prenatal care, looking at the ultrasounds. I won’t be excluded!”

His voice became louder and harsher at the end. “I’m sorry,” he said more calmly, running his fingers through his hair. Alexa noted they were shaking a bit. “I shouldn’t upset you in your fragile state.”

“I understand that you’re angry.” Alexa clasped her hands in front of her.

“I should have told you.”

His gaze flicked over her. “Are you well? Is everything fine with the baby?”

Alexa nodded. “I had a checkup a few days ago.”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. Not yet.” Not without you there, too.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” he whispered.

She could see the pain in his eyes, and it grieved her that she had been the one to inflict it on this big, strong man. Xander had been right, and she had been wrong. He was hurt. Tears sprung to her eyes.

“Of course! I wouldn’t keep you from your own child.”

“It happens often enough nowadays, and it’s not as if you need me or anything I have to offer. Each time you left me, you left behind everything I ever gave you.” He clenched his jaw, an indication he was crushing some deep emotion.

“I didn’t need any of those things.” She averted her eyes. “I swear to you, I would have told you. I know how much you wanted a child, and it would be wrong for me to keep you apart.”

“I want you to come home, Alexa.”

She looked into the bottomless depths of his black eyes. “No,” she said firmly.

“Why not?” Leonardo demanded, his brow furrowing with displeasure.

“I don’t want to be cut off from my own child.”

“You won’t be cut off. You’ll have as much access as you want, but I’m not moving back in with you.” She swallowed hard, hating to tell him what she was about to say. “I’ve contacted an attorney. I want a divorce.”

He looked shell-shocked, as if he couldn’t fathom how she could say something so outrageous.

“You want to divorce me now?”

“It should have been done a long time ago. We’re not happy together, and staying together for the sake of a child is not a good reason.”

“I’m not giving you a divorce,” he said evenly, struggling to remain calm.

“You’re pregnant with my child! I’m not letting you go.”

“Why not?” Alexa asked, her voice wobbling. “You did before. Because I’m pregnant you want to hold on to me? I’m important to you now?” Alexa could feel the tears burning her eyes, and she willed herself not to cry. “I won’t step foot back in that house, because nothing’s changed.”

“What is it that you want?” Leonardo asked, spreading his palms upward in exasperation. “You left me—twice. You chose to leave, and it didn’t matter what I wanted. What is it that needs to change? Talk to me. Tell me what you want. We have to figure this out and make it work. I know what it did to my father when my mother and I moved away from him. I have to be there, every day, every night.”

“Will you really be there?” she asked.

“Yes,” he promised. “I’ve worked with an attorney at Russell’s practice for the past year. She showed me how I could restructure the firm and still maintain the level of control I’d be comfortable with even though the day-today operations would be handled by my top executives.”

Alexa knew it was difficult for him to release control. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Believe it.” He stepped closer. “I will be there, Alexa. I won’t neglect my child. Is that all you want?”

Alexa felt her face crumble. She should be stronger than this. It was a simple question, but her doctor had warned her she could become emotional since her hormones were out of whack. That had to be the reason why the tears burned past her throat and fell onto her cheeks unrestrainedly.

She bit her lip and brushed them away, but others quickly replaced them.

“Alexa,” Leonardo groaned. He reached for her, then thought better of it and pulled back.