Been there, done that. It would be selfish to repeat the sins of her own parents and make her child suffer through the feelings of neglect she and Xander experienced growing up. The only good thing that came out of her dysfunctional family was the closeness she and Xander shared. They were downright inseparable.
Leonardo followed more slowly, no longer wearing his tuxedo jacket.
The sleeves of his white shirt were rolled up onto bronze forearms sprinkled with fine, wiry hairs. He stood behind her as she looked down over the private courtyard. He placed one hand on the railing on either side of her, imprisoning her so she couldn’t get away from his words.
“We never talk about it, Alexa. You yell and stomp around. Then I’m left to wonder why there doesn’t seem to be a maternal bone in your body—
something I completely missed before I married you.”
Alexa winced, happy for the darkness of the balcony and the fact that he stood behind her so he couldn’t read in her face the pain his words caused.
Contrary to what he believed, she did have maternal tendencies. She enjoyed spending time with her nieces and nephews, and before their marriage, she was the go-to babysitter when Xander and his wife wanted a night out.
She could tell him the reason she didn’t want to have a child, but he wouldn’t understand. It would sound like she was nagging him, complaining about his work again when that was what allowed her to live in their luxurious lifestyle. She’d stopped complaining a while back, hating how she sounded. She didn’t want to turn into her mother, so she didn’t explain.
“You missed a lot. You were too focused on trying to get me into bed with you.”
That was probably the only reason why they were married. Because she’d had the fortitude to resist his persistent charm, they hadn’t made love until after they were married.
His hands roamed up her thighs and settled on her hips. She tried not to react, but it was impossible, and she knew this argument would end the way they always did—in bed, with no resolution.
“Do you blame me?” He pressed his lips against the soft skin of her bare back. “I’ve wanted you ever since I saw you in that boutique, and I knew I had to have you.” His hands slipped in front so that his fingers could splay across her flat stomach.
He never said the word “love.” “Want” and “need” were the only words in his vocabulary when he referred to her or their relationship. Before, she’d thought it would be enough, because she understood he was the type of man who never found occasion to express his emotions. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t, because she loved him and wanted to hear him say he loved her.
She ached to be closer to him and spend more time with him, and all he cared about were spreadsheets and dollar signs. She didn’t mean nearly as much to him as he did to her. It was the experience of her childhood all over again.
His hands exerted pressure and eased her back against his aroused body.
“I want a child, our child, and brothers and sisters for him or her. I need you to understand that and how important it is to me.”
Alexa shifted away from him, pushing his hands away from her. He could so easily make her weak, so easily make her behave in an irrational way, no matter how much she thought through a decision. She wanted to remain rational tonight, because his seductive touch was meant to convince her to change her mind.
Licking her dry lips, she turned to face him. “I said no, Leo.” Her voice was firm. “I don’t want a child right now.”
His body grew very still. Looking deeply into her eyes, he asked, “Then when?”
“I … I don’t know,” she stammered. “I need time to think about it.”
“You’re stalling.”
“No, I’m not.” Alexa stepped away from Leonardo.
He didn’t let her escape that easily. One large hand grasped her waist and pulled her closer. He inched the hem of her dress up her thigh. “No matter.
One thing at a time,” he murmured against the corner of her mouth. “Right now, all I care about is getting you out of this.”
Alexa came back to the present with a start. No point in letting her mind wander in that direction. She had plenty to deal with before entering back into the life she had with her husband. Sighing, she placed her now empty cup in the trash and flipped open her phone to call another taxi.
Chapter Four
Alexa pulled open the door to Second Chance Closet, a charity she had formed, located in midtown Atlanta.
Despite losing their parents at a young age, both Xander and Alexa had learned the value of going into business for themselves. She had opened a boutique selling women and children’s clothing and accessories. He followed in their father’s footsteps and opened a bakery.