“What kind of silly question is that?” Anna hissed at him. “Of course they know all about our customs; they were Germans as well once—even if most of them seem to have forgotten that.”
“Anna!” Johanna frowned as she looked over at her daughter.
Anna stood up abruptly. “What do you mean, Anna? I think it’s ridiculous what a fuss you’re all making over Wanda just because she’s come from America. As if it were heaven on earth!”
“We’re happy to have Wanda here as our guest,” her father answered softly. “And that has nothing to do with the fact that she’s American, but rather because we’ve welcomed her into our lives.”
“It seems to me that everybody has!” Anna spat, then ran out of the room.
Wanda stared down at the tabletop, mortified. Of course that was why Anna was so angry at her. Her cousin had been watching like a hawk all evening and hadn’t blinked once as Richard and Wanda spoke or whenever they touched. Anna had tried to draw Richard into conversation more than once, but each time he had given her a short answer and turned straight back to Wanda.
Under different circumstances, Wanda might even have felt sorry for her. Instead she was worried that the others would notice how happy she was.
“I think I need a little fresh air,” she murmured. Then she too left the room.
14
It was bitterly cold outside. Though it had stopped snowing, the sky was covered with low-hanging, pale-gray clouds. There was no sky sprinkled with stars, no shining moon.
Wanda stayed under the eaves where the ground was dry. The freshly fallen snow glittered in the light from the kitchen window like an evening gown strewn with rhinestones. What’s Mother wearing tonight? Wanda suddenly found herself thinking. For a blissful moment she was distracted by memories of the splendid New Year’s parties she had attended with her parents. Perhaps it would have been best if she had never left New York . . . But then you would never have met Richard, a voice inside her whispered.
What now? She sighed deeply, breaking the silence of the night.
It seemed impossible to go back inside and sit down at the table as though nothing had happened. On the other hand—what had happened? She was probably only imagining that Richard was interested in her. His behavior could easily be nothing more than the politeness shown to a guest, in which case Anna’s jealousy was childish and unfounded.
The front door squeaked on its hinges, breaking her train of thought. Richard came outside.
She had known he would.
He came toward her carrying her coat over his arm. Gently, he helped her put it on. Then he knelt down and buttoned it up. When he was done, he drew Wanda to him as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Wanda just stood there, her teeth chattering and her arms hanging down at her sides while the heat from his body warmed her. She was too afraid of her own feelings to return his embrace—her passion would surely get the better of her.
“Don’t feel bad about Anna. It was bound to happen like this. It’s best that she know the truth right from the start.”
“What had to happen like this?” Wanda’s face was so stiff with cold that she had to force each word out of her mouth. Her heart hammered as she wriggled free from his arms. She wanted to be able to look him in the eyes.
“I’ve fallen in love with you. As for your own feelings, well, you know better than I.” He smiled.
Wanda didn’t say a word. Should she tell him that nothing in the world mattered to her now except him? That she had never felt this way about anyone before? That she had never desired a man the way she did him? She didn’t doubt his words for a moment, but she wasn’t ready to answer them the same way. She was scared by these powerful new feelings.
“I don’t know how I feel,” she answered at last.
“It’s New Year’s. Anything is possible.” Before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her, on the forehead, on both cheeks, but not on the mouth.
It was as though his kisses unlocked a door inside her. Suddenly she was calm. She stopped shivering. Richard was right. Anything was possible.
All the same she said, “I’m American. I’ll be leaving at the end of April. I only came to Thuringia because I stupidly thought I would be able to help my family while Marie was away. And . . . then there was the whole story with my . . . my father. But I’ve even wondered whether I shouldn’t take an earlier ship back. Because nothing is the least bit like I imagined it would be. As is always the case in my useless life.”
Before she knew what was happening, there were tears in her eyes. Best that he knew the truth right from the start as well—she was of no use to anyone.