The chords from his guitar were low and had a sadness about them, a longing in the way he held the chords and slowly strummed his guitar. The sounds from the keyboard and drums, as well as the other guitar guy, all only added to this sensation of, maybe, mourning. It felt an appropriate tune for a funeral: it had just that type of sound with just a little angry edge to it, as if to speak of regret.
I had a wide range of tastes when it came to music, but I always chose the genre by mood, knowing how the tune, the sounds coming from the instruments depending upon the beat, would affect my own range of happiness or sadness. This song could make the happy troubled, in my opinion.
If that hadn’t all been enough, the lyrics spoke of an impossible love. Yes, he’d used the word. He sang of things beyond his control, of a separation that made life so hard to bare that sometimes he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t find the urge to keep living. Then he sang about the pain and pleasure of seeing this forbidden angel, how without her he didn’t feel whole. Just the thought of her made him a better man, and yet the only way he could exist was without her. He even cried out words about a curse, one of his own existence as a man, part of and yet exiled from the only pure desire of his heart.
I blinked back tears as Chloe reached under the table and gave my hand a squeeze. If for one second I’d have wondered if the song were about me, he barely took his eyes off me as he sang it. I could feel several sets of eyes in the room looking my way. I swallowed hard, concentrating on each rise and fall of my chest for some semblance of control over my body. I’d nearly made it through the song without losing my shit completely, when he finally belted out with anger and sorrow a line about his own personal hell, living apart from the one who held his heart, all while being the only one who could truly save her.
The applause in the room thundered afterward, startling me at first, and then merely echoing the thumping of my heart. He gave me one last glance, his face fallen, without hope. I got the odd sensation of being able to read his emotions, too, but I was sure it was just the music.
Chapter Ten
Chloe sat with me as the band cleaned up their gear. As they smoozed a bit with the crowd, we’d come up with a plan for us to leave separately, giving me time to talk again to Lex, but without her having to walk to her car alone. She’d struck up a conversation during the break with a nice young man, a friend of the band, and he’d asked her to go out after the show for something to eat anyway.
I watched Lex slip behind the curtain about fifteen minutes later, and said a quick goodbye to Chloe. With a brief hug, she whispered good luck into my ear, and the fact that her phone rang at any time of night.
With a smile, I hurried off after him. Only, when I got backstage, to the scene of our earlier encounter, the small space stood empty. I heard a door click in the far corner and rushed to follow him outside. Once I stepped into the night, into the nearly empty parking lot, I didn’t see him. I moved my back against the brick wall, praying the door hadn’t locked automatically, but knowing that was an impossibility that it hadn’t.
Scanning to find the nearest way to walk to my car with people seeing me, I caught my wolf’s eyes in the shadows of the next parking lot. This club was surrounded by a strip of stores all closed for the evening. The parking lot my wolf stood in, in the shadow of the brick wall of the building, appeared vacant of cars and people. Without concern, suddenly, I followed him when he turned to walk into the darkness.
Once I got to the next building, a small coffee shop, I could see him still walking. He moved into the night without care, and I followed. He didn’t seem to be running from me, and in fact, he seemed to be begging me to follow him. His emotions called to me, as mixed up and upset as if he’d just listened to Lex play. Several stores in now, he moved to a dark corner, a small alleyway between two buildings.
Stopping and turning to me, he looked on as I kept a steady pace until I was face to face with my wolf. Never this close before, I held my breath with the urge to touch him. I wanted the connection as much as I wanted to comfort him. He seemed weary, broken of spirit, and in desperate need of me this time.
With a trembling hand, I reached for him. Before I could actually lay my fingers on his face, he moved his snout to nuzzle my hand. The predatory sound that emanated from the animal didn’t scare me. I gently rubbed my hand down over his face to his neck. On all fours, he looked me right in the eyes as I stood there at my full height. The sheer size of the animal filled me with wonder. How soft his fur was I couldn’t have imagined. It felt like silk running between my fingers. Something electric passed between us. He sniffed at my neck as I stepped to his side. I didn’t cringe, though. I let him. I felt the tears of happiness in my eyes at getting to be this close. I wanted to hug him, but couldn’t imagine how.