“You know,” I continued, picking back up from Chloe’s stalking comment since she’d given me a roll of her eyes yet again, “it can’t be considered stalking unless we actually follow him where he is, right?” I half-teased, half-inquired. I’d never gathered myself a stalker. Never thought I’d have someone in my life worthy of stalking. My avoidance techniques had been perfected until I’d thrown them all out the window last weekend. Even guys I’d dated a few times, even slept with, I’d never let get as close to me as I had Lex.
“Oh, sure it can. The intention is there. Only thing holding you back is the lack of knowledge of where the poor sap is,” she laughed.
“Right. Although, if he breaks my heart, I can’t imagine trying to see him again. In fact, I’d never return to this place again,” I admitted, my heart already thumping in my chest despite the weight I felt it had on it.
“He might just break your heart, hon. Some guys are idiots. Anything feels right, or too good to be true, and they bail. They just can’t handle the idea of real feelings or commitments.”
“I can’t imagine Lex is that way. You heard his songs. I told you what he said. Why would he talk like that at all if real feelings scared him?” I asked, honestly not buying that horrific situation.
“I don’t know. I can’t come up with any other reasonable explanation. The guy did a complete flip. After hours of being too good to be true, he turns into mute and stupid. He just up and splits without so much as a word.”
“Yeah, I remember it well.”
I blinked back tears as I had done numerous times this week. The attack no longer kept me up. Lex had, though. I didn’t dream about him or my wolf. In fact, I hadn’t dreamed all week. What I had done was lay awake for hours either reliving my one night with him, or dreaming of seeing him again. Either way, I’d cried at some point nearly every night. Masturbation had become quite a regular event as well. I’d changed.
The door opened, and I stared. This time, the third guy in had dark waves like Lex. I jumped up, my heart racing a hundred beats a minute before it plummeted into my stomach once I’d gotten a good look at the guy’s face. Chloe’s hand on my arm startled me.
“I’m sorry, lady,” she offered. “Do you even know what you are going to say if he does walk in? Or, are you planning on winging it?”
“No, I’ve rehearsed it in my head a million times,” I answered, sitting back down, looking away from her face to avoid the reflected knowledge of how pitiful I was being.
The tiny ache that had been throbbing at my temple became a sharp, shooting pain. I closed my eyes to block out the for light a second or two before glancing at Chloe and then looking back at the door.
“Do you want to bounce it off me?” she offered.
Not really wanting too, I gave her a vague summary, “I just want him to look me in the eye and tell me why he left that way. Why he never came back except to leave this note. I want to know what the note means. I mean, vague much? I think I deserve that. I plan on demanding it. I just hope to do so without these damned eyes of mine watering. Stupid things need an off button.”
“You do deserve that. It’s not unreasonable at all. I would just work on keeping that hurt anger in your voice down a bit in volume. Let him know he hurt you. The guilt should work in your favor, but don’t let the whole place know, okay?” she said with a consoling hand on my arm again.
“Okay,” I agreed.
I looked around then, to see if anyone had heard me this time. No one looked our way. So, I scanned the room for him again. Surely, he hadn’t gotten past my hawk eyes on the door, but just in case, I did my scan.
“Guys in here must think you’re really on the make the way you’re checking them out every fifteen minutes,” she warned with a shake of her head in scolding.
“Yeah, I’m sure they do the way they’re flocking to our table offering to buy us drinks,” I rebutted.
“Well, honestly, chic, you look like a crazy woman. Your glassy eyes are wild, and kind of terrifying. You seem like a girl who would turn into a stalker. I’m blaming you that I haven’t been hit on all night, either.”