I oddly found this mixing of light very easy to do, as the imagery formed in my head of the hole in my body. Like being uncorked, my breath faltered a minute, my world growing unstable, as I felt a rush of sudden energy, feeling I couldn’t control mine. The imaginary candle light added to it, made it burn stronger. Whether suggested by Nira or actually there, I did see two dark spots, one near my heart, and one in my stomach.
My power burned brighter around them until only ash seemed to move along the light, as if carried by the wind that had picked up around us. For a moment, all bright light, I got the sensation that I’d grown so light that the wind would pick me up and toss me off the balcony. I curled my toes in my shoes against the sensation, in a stupid attempt to anchor myself to the ground. Then, a second thought hit me, that I could fly away to him.
“You are fine, Christina. Don’t fear your gifts, the power inside of you. Embrace it. Let it work for you. No matter what you feel, you are safe here with me. I will not let anything happen to you, so give into whatever you are feeling. Your spirit must soar to him. You will not hurt anyone, not me or him, with this fierce power you have inside you,” she counseled me, obviously sensing my fear, more empathic than I’d thought.
“Open your eyes again, Christina,” she coaxed. “Continue to stare at the flame, open yourself to a Cosmic light. Let the warmth of it flow through you, allowing it to dispel any remaining darkness. When you feel clear, bright, light as air even, as if your magic glows from inside you, sit back down and relax.”
It didn’t take long for that to happen, actually. The magic inside me burned, lit me up from within until no darkness could exist. At least, I didn’t believe it could. As I sat down slowly, my breathing slow and even, trying to maintain that, Nira pulled more items from a box she had slid from under the coffee table. By the white candle she’d set back down, she lit a purple one as well as a red. She added another stone, a clear one this time. Beyond that, a small bowl of dried herbs was placed on the table.
“Mugwort and clear quartz,” she said before I could ask. “These will help in getting your psychic centers to flow. We’ve opened them, so now we need his spirit, information, to flow through them, and for you to be able to read that information. So, keep holding the hematite, and with your other hand, place the quartz on your third eye, the space just above your eyebrows, for a minute.”
I will admit to feeling silly, but I let the light in me carry that away on the wind as well, for my Lex, for my blood relation, Vivian, and for Riker. While I had this connection to Lex to use, I’d not forgotten that I had an obligation to help find them all. By blood, relation, or love, I was connected to all of them. They were my new family, a gift most don’t even get once, and I now had twice. I’d only to use what they’d given me to get them back now.
“Good,” Nira said after I assumed a minute had passed. “Now, lower it so you can look through it to see the light of the flame. Concentrate now on Lex. You are opening yourself to him. Imagine there are tiny silver threads connecting you. Send your love, your desire to be with him over those threads. Then be still, quiet, and listen for him; leave yourself open to feel him,” she directed me.
I did as she said, losing everything around me but that rock and flame. Only the now gentler breeze, and distant noises of a city, kept me tethered to this place. I imagined my Lex, and I sent him all the energy in me over those threads. I forced out all of my love. In my mind, I set an intention to connect with him. I became unaware of time passing, as my body grew heavy and warm.
My thoughts faded to black, and if asked later, I’d have said that I’d fallen asleep. It felt just like that, the way the world slips away at the end of the day once you close your eyes. Only, mine were open and focused. While my power stirred, my body relaxed to the point of rest. I’d not have thought such a thing possible even minutes ago, but I’d happened upon it. I think I became just my spirit, born of magic, bright and fierce, powerful and seemingly capable of anything.
Again, not aware of time, at some point, I felt him, his spirit, I would say, combining with mine. I drew strength from it. The image of him grew clearer and clearer. Suddenly, like watching a movie in reverse at a fast speed, as his image began to fade, before I could panic about the fact, I saw a door, which then got swallowed by a building, which came to sit on a road, which merged into another and another and another until I came back to me.