The Alpha’s Desire 3(35)

 

 

 

Sweating under the warm sprays of water, I let go, moving with abandon. Driving myself up and over the edge to that amazing precipice where my entire being burned with my orgasm, I let it come, let it all take me. Eventually, still tingling, my nerve endings jumping, I slumped on the seat. As my fingers fell from me, my body only wanted more, wanted only him. Still, as those post-orgasmic tremors continued to flutter through my body, once again, I let my magic go to him along those ties that bound us.

 

 

 

As I watched the white light rush and break through the liquid streams, the play of fire and water shimmered throughout the large shower. In that amazing light show, I saw again our perfect reunion  , the first time we could wrap our arms around each other again. I knew I’d never want to let go. Hiding away on the Royal island with him had never sounded better. Wobbly, I stood to actually shower, with soap and shampoo and all. Tears filled my eyes, cleansing my soul, maybe, as I washed. I let them come, hoping they would refresh me, getting my sadness out of the way so that, once I got ready, I could focus only on the goal.

 

 

 

Without him, as far as the steps of grief went, I would count my magically drugged recovery as my denial time. I’d definitely hit anger, in the gathering room with the vampires just a bit ago. Probably twice, anger on the verge of insanity and laced with sadness. A volatile mix, I grew more embarrassed each time I thought of it. Moving on past that stage, I figured this time in the shower spent trying to connect with him to be my bargaining stage. So, if I counted these tears as my depression phase, that only left acceptance and moving on. I needed to get going.

 

 

 

A quote I’d heard once ran through my head as I turned to rinse the soap from my hair. Keep going… Each step may get harder, but don’t stop. The view is beautiful at the top. And, I knew it would be. Everything was beautiful with my Lex, inside and out, magical shapeshifting and all. Bending my neck to let the spray hit my face, I rinsed away the last tear. With love as my motivation, giving it, and basking in the glory of it, I bolstered myself for the fight ahead. Accepted this moment and moved on.

 

 

 

As I turned off the shower and stepped out into the steam for my towel, I convinced myself that, whatever might come, whatever obstacles came my way, including my not knowing exactly how to utilize my magic, being that unstable bomb as they’d said, I could still do this. I had to do this. There was no living without him. Not for me anymore. We were connected, and my life depended on his in so many ways.

 

 

 

Once dry, I stepped into the now empty sitting room. Nira, I was sure, had gone to the planning meeting. A simple outfit of black stretchy jeans, a dark grey t-shirt, and a soft, thin black hoodie hung on hangers from a hook on the wall. Perfect mission outfit. I figured I could sneak into anywhere, and even knock off a bank in this outfit. While she didn’t know my style, she’d gone for practical, and made it so I could easily go with them. She was making me as much one of them as she could, and I appreciated the gesture. I couldn’t get over their kindness, and how they acted as if that was just what they do. If only more people could be more like that the first time around on this earth.

 

 

 

I wanted to write, to change the way fiction portrayed the vampires. So, as I dressed, I tucked away a story idea in my head. Lex had told me to write it all, to finish the story I’d begun during our first separation. As therapy, I’d written all about the time when Lex had tried so hard to uphold his position as my protector. He’d not wanted to cross the line to be my lover. Even then, only having known one night with him, I’d been insane without him. So, I’d written all of those feelings out. When this was all over, he’d told me I should finish the story, make it paranormal. Even though I would know the truth of it, no one would ever believe me. I had so much to add now. And, I grew positive that I would get a happy ending to write.

 

 

 

I hadn’t quit on him then, risking not actually life and limb like I would this time, but my heart. Equally as important, I’d get him back again. With my love-fueled magic, I would fight. As I pulled on the hoodie, though I probably wouldn’t need it out in the sun, I wanted to keep the wonderful warmth of the shower with me as long as I could. My nose picked up the hint of a comforting and exhilarating scent from the clothes, a mix of vanilla and maybe bergamot along with mint. I smiled, realizing that she’d most probably doused my clothes in some magic mix that would help me on my journey to save my Lex, along with Vivian and Riker.