Was she happy with the way she was? Did she want to do something about it? That was the question, wasn’t it? It was so hard to control her diet and exercise just gave her heartburn.
If only . . . if only someone with romantic inclinations on his mind would just accept her for the way she was. Someone who wouldn’t judge her. Someone who would listen to what she had to say and not be mentally assessing her physical state all the time. Someone who would stay long enough with her to get to second base – and by that, she didn’t mean making out.
If only a guy like that existed.
Maybe if the guy was just as overweight himself . . .
That’s right! She should only date like-sized people, and then they wouldn’t have body image expectations. From now on, she was only going to date people with a BMI of over 26.
If there was going to be a next time.
There came the sound of a key being inserted into the door. Lyla was back. Jessica buried her head under her blanket and pretended to be asleep. The lights were off anyway. As much as she loved Lyla, she didn’t feel like talking about it.
She heard Lyla come in. Lyla was anything but silent. Whenever she entered the room, it was as if a mini-tornado swept in. There would be mutters and curses (if she stubbed her toe in the dark) and the sound of keys and a purse being thrown onto an armchair. Then her clothes would come off with more curses (if her bra clasp got stuck).
But today, Lyla was strangely silent. OK, maybe ‘silent’ was too absolute a word to describe anything Lyla did, but she was quieter than normal. Jessica held her breath. She could feel Lyla’s presence beside her bed. She imagined Lyla standing there, debating whether or not to wake her.
Then:
“Come on, Jess, I know you’re awake.”
Jessica kept very still.
I don’t want to talk.
A depression on her mattress told her Lyla was sitting on it.
“I know you don’t feel like talking and that’s why you’re pretending to be asleep. But you know what? I believe in solutions, not moping around.”
Here it comes, Jessica thought with dread. The pep talk about going to the gym and cutting down my diet into five peas a day.
“So I’ve trawling the Internet for solutions, and guess what I found?” Lyla nudged her leg.
Jessica was piqued despite herself.
“Jess, I know you’re in there.” Another nudge. “And I know you want to see what I’ve found.”
She was busted. Jessica poked her head out from under the covers. Lyla was sitting on her bed, smiling, iPad laid in her palms like a sacrificial offering.
“Look for yourself,” she teased.
Jessica was aware she looked a right mess with her hair all over the place. But she took Lyla’s iPad anyway and glanced at the screen.
“Big, Beautiful Dating,” Lyla confirmed, reading it out loud. “Isn’t that absolutely great?”
Jessica sat up. She was interested. Why, she had arrived at the same conclusion.
“So does this website pair big, beautiful people together?” she said cautiously.
“Apparently, all guys can apply, but the girls have to be BBW and they get to register for free.” Lyla’s voice rose excitedly. “Look.”
She snatched the iPad from Jessica and scrolled down the website.
“See? All the girls have their pictures in this and they are all BBW. You’re prettier than any of them. It says here . . . ‘a dating service for men who love Big, Beautiful Ladies’. And look at the men themselves.”
Many of the male avatars didn’t have accompanying photos, but they were interesting enough.
“Dave, 31, lawyer,” Lyla read. “Loves to go for walks by the lake, loves Italian food and has a golden retriever named ‘Sam’.”
“He’s too old for me.”
“There are others. Look, Steve. 23. College student. Loves to cook macaroni and cheese and show a girl a good time.”
“Define ‘good time’.”
“Oh, come on. Not every guy has sex on his mind.” Lyla’s fingers flew on the touchpad.
“What’re you doing?”
“Creating your profile.”
“What? Wait, no!” Jessica tried to pull the iPad from her best friend but Lyla held it away and sprinted from the bed.
“Ha ha,” she said. “It’s my iPad and I have a gorgeous photo of you in your prom dress.”
Yeah, the prom to which she went alone. “Please, Lyla!”
“No! It’s time you do something for yourself. Look, you deserve a guy who likes you the way you are and won’t try to change you unless you want to change yourself. I think this dating site is your best bet, don’t you think?”
Privately, Jessica thought so too. “But what if they are all weirdos?” she said in a small voice.